Grief

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47 words
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Tzara
Tzara
33 Followers

bruises Mother's face,
buckles her spine.
She went from old to ancient

at the moment of my father's death
and lives now buried
in the shallow grave

of that withering emotion.
The remaining hollowed husk
I cannot quicken, even

with all my rain of thoughtless love.

Tzara
Tzara
33 Followers
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buttersbuttersalmost 12 years ago
this is so damned good...

if i didn't know you'd written it, i would have placed gm as its author! so, yeah, i really rate this sensitively woven write with its deceptively simple language. what you have achieved here, imo, is do that thing i so admire: you make it about the images, the sensations, emotions by choosing words that somehow manage to become invisible (or virtually so) - in other words, what i'm 'reading' is a montage of images suffused with patterns of emotion and sensation.

yeah, i'll shut up now. this is good.

greenmountaineergreenmountaineeralmost 12 years ago

Well crafted as always, Tzara.

"and lives now buried //in the shallow grave //of that withering emotion" is very powerful. Poems about personal loss, I think, are difficult because of the risk of melodrama. Initially, the last line felt that way to me, particulary with "love" as the final word, but the poem was good enough that I read it again. The interplay of "husk, quicken, rain, and thoughtless" gave "love" a more tangible and dynamic meaning rather than some melancholic abstraction.

Maria2394Maria2394almost 12 years ago
excellent work

you just keep getting better Tzara. Mentioned, of course, on the new poems thread.

~ maria

NeonuroticNeonuroticalmost 12 years ago
Good Son

Just Carrie said, Tzara, be there for your Mom, that's all you can do really. I'm learning the same with my own Mother, my step Dad having passed recently.

champagne1982champagne1982almost 12 years ago
Loving

Keep filling that husk with your rain. Even the bottomless has a bottom. Lovely work T-zed, thank you.

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