- Erotic Poetry
- Shadow Girl
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Against dark blue, as you sleep,
your back rises and falls.
Every breath is,
morning waves in May.
Amid dark blue, as you sleep,
your outline comes and goes.
Every move is,
noon winds by the Gulf.
Amongst dark blue, as you sleep,
your shadow talks and plays .
Every draw is,
bedtime lightning in September.
Around dark blue, as you sleep,
your self is here and now.
Every shadow is,
paper dolls dressing by the Moon.
- COMMENTS
PandoraGlittersover 11 years agowas mentioned on New Poems Recommendations in the poetry forum.
Desejoover 11 years agoI liked this - especially the way it flows and the rhythm. I think it could be stronger by reinforcing the metaphors/links within stanzas. Specifically:
2nd stanza: 'your outline' does not really seem to relate to noon winds, but if you used your breath, whispers or something like that - it would.
3rd stanza: shadow talks and plays, if changed to shadow flickers and plays then relates more to the bedtime lightning
Just suggestions - I do like it as is.
twelveooneover 11 years agobut with a question are you the one that had the line about the lipstick on the plastic spoon, if so that was one of the most stunning evocative lines i've ever seen.
this poem could use some work
these lines very good
Every shadow is,
paper dolls dressing by the Moon.
