Fate

Author's note: I borrowed and paraphrased a few lines from the introduction of the song Rhiannon: by Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks. I had only heard this intro once, but I thought it was beautiful. The rest of the story is mine. Hope you enjoy.

FATE

It all started innocently enough. I was writing a final paper for psychology. My thesis was made up of articles on different unusual human behaviors, as it related to interpersonal relationships. I had already completed articles on polygamy, incest, bondage and fetishism. I wasn't going to even touch bestiality or necrophilia. These, in my opinion were just too extreme. A few decades ago homosexuality would have qualified for my research; but it has since become too main stream. Besides, although I consider myself 'straight'; I am a 'live and let live' kind of guy. I still felt that I needed one more subject for my thesis. I thought about voyeurism; but anybody that glanced at pornography was considered a voyeur. Role playing with costumes or group sex seemed too mundane as well. That's when my professor suggested Transexuallity. I thought about it. I was of the opinion that this fell in with homosexuality, but she assured me that it was completely different. Ok then, I had my topic. Now for the research. Professor Hargrove gave me the phone number of a psychologist that specialized in Transsexuals. I made an appointment to see her.

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"Dr. Fielding. My name is Richard Thomson and I am doing a thesis on unusual human behaviors and interpersonal relationships." I shook her hand. The 40 something doctor asked me to sit down.

"Professor Hargrove is a friend of mine and already informed me of your thesis, Mr. Thompson. But before we continue, I want to clarify something for you. Transgenderism and Transexualism are not unusual behaviors. All of your previous articles dealt with behaviors that were sexual in nature; but they all are by choice. Transgenders and transsexuals are a mind set and therefore are not a choice. These people, for some reason or another; and they are legitimate reasons, feel that they were born into the wrong body."

"So you are saying that these people have no control over their actions?"

"No sir. They do have control over their actions, just not over their feelings. Some choose to ignore the matter and live a life that they feel will allow them to blend in to society. Others choose to transition to the gender they feel more comfortable with. Those that change their appearance to the 'other' sex, can do as little as dress the part, or they can alter their bodies through surgery.

"That sounds a bit extreme, professor."

"Not as extreme as you might think. Imagine that you are missing a limb, because of an accident. Do you learn to get along without it, or do you take further measures?"

"I would probably get surgery and a prosthesis."

"Do you think that this would take courage Mr. Thompson?"

"I am sure it would, Professor. But what is your point?"

"What are you, 25 or 26?"

"Twenty six, but I still don't see your point."

"Ok. Say you were in your 50s and found that you had developed 'man boobs', for lack of a better term. Would you get a mastectomy?"

"Uh---I guess I would. But I still---."

"You would alter your body to what fit your comfort zone." She interrupted. "Many transsexuals do the same thing. Some of them not only change their outward appearance, but also get GRS; genital reconstructive surgery."

"Ouch!"

"Ouch, indeed Mr. Thompson. But this is what they feel is necessary to fit into the ideal picture of themselves. Others just change their outward appearance, retaining their original 'equipment'. Transgenders and transsexuals can be gay, straight or bisexual, depending on the preference of the individual."

"I guess I never realized how complicated this subject was Professor."

"I asked you before, if changing your body took courage. Imagine how much courage it would take to not only change your body; but your sexual preference as well. It has a tremendous impact on family, friends and employment. To do this takes commitment. That is why we, as psychologists need to weed out those that use it as a fad, or just want to escape their present lives. This is serious business, Mr. Thompson, and not to be taken lightly."

"I think I am beginning to see the picture. Please pardon my ignorance."

"No pardon necessary. I am here to educate as well as listen. Can you still use this as a topic for your paper?"

I nodded. "I think I can make it work."

"Good, I have a list of interview candidates for you continued research. These are transsexuals that would be willing to give you some insight to their lives and everyday struggles."

"Do you really think that is necessary Professor? I could just get the information from you or you staff."

"Mr. Thompson; I have a saying for times like this. 'You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs."

I thanked her and took the paper. The list consisted of first names only and one phone number, that turned out to be a message service. The individuals would have to phone me back for interviews, at their discretion.

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My first callback was from David; a transman that lived in the city. We met at a restaurant close by. I wouldn't have known by his appearance, that he use to be female. We found a secluded table and taped our conversation. He was very helpful and I gained even more insight to the trans world. He was awaiting the GSR operation and was still saving up for it.

My next two callbacks were no shows. In a way I couldn't blame them. This interview process would be like 'lifting up the lid' on their stealth lifestyles. The next callback was a message. I was to meet Danni at a local Barnes and Nobel bookstore, coffee shop. I arrived early for the appointment and decided to get something fancier than a cup of Joe.

"What can I get you?" The counter person was a doll! Dishwater blonde, Five ft six and about 140 lbs. She was just heavy enough to have some really nice curves. I didn't get into anorexic model types. At six foot, broad shouldered and 230 lbs, I didn't want to explain to some CSI tech, how I accidentally crushed my date, during an amorous moment. The tag on her apron showed Lisa as her name.

"Lisa. I want something other than coffee."

She smiled. "That doesn't narrow it down much."

"Maybe something hot and sweet."

"I'm available." she quipped.

I reddened slightly. "I ---was thinking about something to drink."

"I'm sorry." She laughed "I couldn't help myself. Do you like chocolate?"

"Yes, I do."

"We have Cappuccino or Mocha Latte." Her smile was infectious.

I looked into her exquisite, blue eyes. "Surprise me Beautiful." I thought I would flirt back a bit and hope I didn't sound like a complete moron.

"Have a seat handsome and I'll bring it out to you."

She turn around to fix my drink and I finally got a chance to check out her ass. Certainly worked for me. Not too big; not too small. Unfortunately while I was playing Goldilocks, I didn't watch were I was going and rammed my groin into the post that held up the ropes that formed the line. My eyes started tearing up. 'Christ I'm smooth!' I thought. I found a seat and sat down gingerly. I just hoped I wouldn't wind up on a future episode of America's Funniest Videos.

Lisa brought out my drink and set it down. There was a mischievous sparkle in her eye. "You know, if that post continues to give you trouble, I can have him thrown out."

"So much for that going unnoticed."

"I think I'll give you a 8.8 for degree of difficulty. After all, you did stick the dismount."

I was really beginning to like her. "Trained all summer for it." I confessed. She giggled and told me to enjoy.

Forty minutes later and my appointment failed to show, making her a half hour late. I was about to get up and leave when Lisa returned without her apron, carrying two mugs this time.

"On the house." She sat across from me without an invite. Hmm, maybe I could wrangle a phone number from her.

"It's my break. You must be waiting for someone." When I showed puzzlement, she explained. "You don't have a book and you keep looking around."

"The person I was going to meet is late."

"As handsome as you are, it must be a woman, and I think she is really being rude." She took a sip from her cup.

I blushed a bit at the remark. "I am sure she had her reasons. We hadn't met before and maybe she thought I wasn't worth her time."

"Then she was rude and blind!"

"I am sure that wasn't the case. Sometimes it's hard to talk to strangers."

"You are certainly being lenient to someone you never met."

I shrugged. "At least I got a chance to meet you Lisa."

"Actually my name is Danni." It was her turn to blush. "My friend Lisa works here and she let me borrow her apron. Sorry, but I have been burned a few times. I had to make sure you weren't an axe murderer or a nut job."

I did some backpedaling. "You're my appointment?"

"Sorry." She repeated. "If you don't want to do this, I will understand."

"It's me that should be sorry. I didn't expect---."

"Somebody that didn't look like Joe Pesci in a wig and dress." She interrupted, finishing my question.

Her smile seemed to make her glow. "Something like that." I returned.

I swore we only talked for a little while, but in reality my watch confirmed it was hours. I started the interview, but it seemed like I was more interested in her than her transition. Danni's birth name was Douglas and she was the youngest of three brothers, living in Idaho. Like with David; my previous interview, she never felt 'right' being the gender she was. Danni confessed to buying bootleg hormones after doing massive research about transsexuals on the internet. She started buying feminine clothing, but her Dad found her stash. After she confessed, he kicked her out of the house. Fortunately her Aunt on her mother's side, took her in and she started counseling and testosterone blockers.

Because she now lived in Salt Lake City, Utah, Danni went full time and said goodbye to Doug forever. Her Aunt Margo had a very successful 'in home' catering business and Danni found she fit right in. Margo was an excellent cook and taught her 'niece' all the tricks of the trade. They would prepare wonderful meals and deliver them frozen to clientele. Some people were just too busy to cook and the 'Devine Sister's' catering business filled in the niche.

Danni endured electrolysis, and had breast implants, put in. She forgot about going stealth, because she was so beautiful, nobody figured out she wasn't female by birth. Life was good and the two built up the business. Danni's only problem was that she was lonely.

"I found out that I liked guys. You can't believe how many male butts I check out everyday. I want to date, but--." She averted her eyes. " I told one guy my secret and he beat the crap out of me."

I winced. I couldn't even imagine anybody wanting to hurt her. "From a male perspective; I summarily apologize for my gender."

Danni laid her hand on mine. "That's very sweet Rick."

My stomach flipped a little, but it was a good flip. There was nothing about this girl that was masculine. It was getting toward dinner time and I hadn't asked her half of the questions that I wanted.

"I don't have all of the data I need Danni. Could you stay for a while longer?"

"If you buy me dinner, I might think about it." She replied coyly.

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We ate at the Spaghetti Factory in the Trolley Square mall. The lasagna there was to die for. Two more hours past and we never got back to the interview. She had told me so much about herself, that she insisted that I reciprocate. I told her that I grew up in SLC and went to Skyline HS. I worked as a substance abuse councilor and was finishing my psychology degree at University of Utah. Once I completed my college; a position was waiting for me at the same substance abuse clinic, with a healthy raise to boot.

"So your future is pretty certain then." Danni stated. "Is this something that your girlfriend approves of?"

"I'm ---not attached Danni. My work and school, take up most of my time for now. I hope to one day get married."

"Cold Utah nights are best when you can cuddle up to someone and your dog doesn't count." She brushed her hand over my sleeve and a few stray hairs fell off.

"Samantha is a Sheltie- cocker mix and she tends to be a bit jealous of some of the women I bring home." I showed her the picture on my phone.

"She's adorable Rick. Do you bring many women home?"

"Hey, who's interviewing who here?"

"Sorry." She laughed. Then looked at her watch. "It's getting late, Margo is going to worry. Are we done with the interview?"

I was taken aback by the lateness of the hour. I was nowhere near done, but I felt like I had already taken too much of her time. "I think---."

"Can you be ready at 8 am?" She interrupted. "I'm going on a short hike and Margo already thinks I spend too much time in the mountains by myself."

"S--sure Danni. I guess so. Yeah, that sounds great!" I gave her my address and took her back to her car at the bookstore.

"In the morning Rick."

"In the Morning Danni."

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My cell phone buzzed at 7:30. "Rick' could you drive? Your jeep would probably fare better in the mountains, than my VW." Danni gave her address and I was there by 8am easy. When I got to the front door , Danni was waiting on the porch. She wore jeans, a flannel shirt, a down vest and hiking boots. Her hair was in a pony tail and pulled through the back of her ball cap. I wondered if she knew that I thought that was very sexy on a woman?

"Ready Bucko?" Her smile was soothing, like shade on a hot day.

"Packed a canteen. That OK?"

"Hope it's not filled with booze. I don't want you taking advantage of me." I stood there, dumbfounded. She giggled. "Just kidding Ricky boy. You gotta lighten up."

"No Danni; I have to wake up. Can we stop for coffee?"

"If we must." Her expression turned to a pout. "Margo wants to meet you, is that alright?" Damn! She was so cute when she pouted.

We popped inside and Danni introduced us. Margo was in her 50s and seemed nice, but when Danni left to get the backpacks out of the mud room, I got the distinct impression that I was being scrutinized. I felt like the young man who was meeting the parents of his prom date, for the first time.

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We headed up Little Cottonwood Canyon Rd and found a place to park by a trail, Danni indicated. Each of us grabbed a backpack and started up the trail. We had been hiking for almost two hours when we stopped to rest.

"What's in this pack, Danni? It's a little heavy."

"You have water, lamp oil and some food."

"Lamp oil? Why do we need that?"

"You'll see Rick. We're almost there."

Ten minutes later we approached a small cabin just off the trail. We dropped our packs and Danni unlocked the padlock on the door. The inside looked rustic, but cozy. It was only one room. There was a double bed in one corner, a small kitchen area, with an old wood fired cook stove, in another. Toward the center was a small table with two wooden chairs. An open set of shelves held dishes, table ware, cups and can goods. Another shelf held blankets and towels. A couple of fishing rods were hung up on one wall and that was about all there was to the little building.

"So what do you think Rick?"

"Nice place. I take it that there is a trout stream near here?" Danni smiled.

An hour later we had brought back 5 brook trout on a stringer. I managed to hook one, only because I think he felt sorry for me. Danni played the rod and reel like it was a fine violin. The trout swarmed toward her and practically jumped in her net. She started a fire in the cook stove and pulled water jugs and a small sack of potatoes out of the pack, I had carried earlier. Soon the smell of fried potatoes, with onions and sautéed trout filled the room. We ate greedily after all the activities in the cool mountain air. I filled the two hanging oil lamps to Danni's specifications. We cleaned up and washed the dishes.

"We had better get going before it gets dark, don't you think?"

"We are staying here tonight, Rick."

What the hell? "Danni, There is only one bed."

"I don't bite."

"Come on Danni. What's going on?"

"We need to talk."

"Yes, we need to talk about where I'm going to sleep."

"With me silly." She sat on the bed and patted the mattress next to her. I grabbed one of the wooden chairs and sat across from her instead. "Spoil sport. "She stuck out her tongue at me.

"We don't even know each other." I explained.

"This is our second date Rick." She batted her eyelashes.

"We are NOT dating, Danni." This was starting to get weird.

"What do people do on dates, Rick?"

"Well" I started. "they do things together, talk and have dinn------." Son of a bitch; she had me! What was there about Danni that kept pulling me to her? She was gorgeous and fun to be with, but ---there was that 'use to be a guy' thing that bothered me.

"I'm going to lay it on the line Rick. I know you think I'm hot! And I know you like being with me. I like you. I like you a lot. You're handsome, kind, funny, smart and sweet."

"I have to admit Danni; you are beautiful, funny, sweet..." What the hell? This was starting to sound like a TV ad for Match.com.

She smiled. "See, we are both attracted to each other."

"I am attracted to a lot of women Danni. It's just that I---."

"How many of them take you on a long hike, to a secluded cabin so they can jump your bones?" She interjected.

I started. "So, this was your plan all along?"

"Yes."

"To get me alone."

"Yes."

"So we could--."

"YES!"

"Danni, I am not sexually attracted to you!"

"Liar."

"No, really."

"Such a liar!"

"I'm not."

"Prove it."

"How do I do that?"

"Kiss me."

"I don't think so."

"Kiss me and walk away. If you can."

"Wouldn't be a problem."

"Oh, no. Then pucker up baby."

"I don't think so."

"Oh. Then I guess that means you're chicken."

"I am not chicken!"

"Brooooowk, buck, buck, buck, broooowk."

"I AM NOT CHICKEN!"

"Then prove it Rick. Lay one on me."

I sighed and leaned in." She stopped me.

"Not a peck on the cheek or a kiss you reserved for your Mom or Grand. An honest to goodness lip lock!"

"You're making this difficult Danni."

"Just getting the ground rules straight."

"T--there are ground rules?"

"Can't be a smack either. It has to be at least thirty to forty five seconds in duration. And you have to take me in your arms."

"I suppose you want tongue too?"

"If you insist." Danni giggled.

"I---- Oh, fuck. I give up."

"Surrendering already."

"You're starting to drive me CRAZY!"

"At least it will be a short trip."

"Danni!" I rose and backed off. I needed to think. Soon I was out side. She followed me. The sun was starting to set over the next ridge. It was beautiful outside. There was a cool, but gentle breeze and the forest seemed to glow. Danni took off her ball cap and ran a hand through her blonde hair. She looked incredible! Why did she affect me so much?

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

I looked at her. "Almost as beautiful as you Danni."

She could sense that my attitude had changed. "What is wrong with me, Rick?"

I was honest. " You--- use to be a guy, Danni."

"And you are afraid that it's going to make you look gay?"

"Something like that." I admitted.

Danni turned half toward me and leaned forward a bit. Her hand caressed her ass and she arched her back. This made her ass seem even sexier. She licked her lips as her smoking hot eyes locked on mine.