the Tour Guide Ch. 01

My wife of 5 years and I were on a trip through Europe. We had found a great tour guide, Sid, an expat American who had been living abroad for about 30 years. Former CIA or so he claimed, spoke 10 languages. He told a lot of tall tales but Sid was a genuinely charming guy who knew his way around people. He was in his early 60s but you could tell he had been a handsome guy, with intelligent eyes and quietly confident smile.

The old guy was great at his job: incredibly funny and always laughing, coupled with an uncanny ability to exert a natural authority over people when needed. He did not raise his voice or act arrogant, but when he asked you do to something, you felt gladly compelled to obey him. I saw him haggle down shopkeepers, and quite a few times he argued calmly but firmly with waiters when they attempted to overcharge.

He was a charmer as I said and he made many overtures to Karen, kissing her hand, constantly praising the beautiful lady. I took this in stride as he was an old man and I am in my early thirties, handsome with a great body and great job. I felt I had nothing to fear from Sid so I didn't get annoyed when he joined us for every meal, even romantic ones. His presence also kept me from getting intimate with my wife, as after each dinner he would take us out to bars and insist on drinking me under the table.

The fourth day something strange happened. We were touring some old Roman ruins and I had to use the gents. As I sidled up to the urinal, I heard Sid enter and clasp his hand on my shoulder as he joined me at my side. The urinal was one of those old trough-style fixtures as opposed to separate toilets. There were no dividers and little privacy. I heard his stream join then drown out mine.

I thought it kind of strange that he chose to stand right next to me in the middle as opposed to going to the opposite side and giving me space. It felt like he was breaking an unspoken 'guy rule' but of course I couldn't say anything.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I couldn't help but look. He had one of the biggest penises I'd ever seen in my life! Damn thing seemed to hang down to his knees. It unfurled from a thick bed of gray and white pubic hair, and must have been at least five or six inches soft, very thick, white and purple veined. Ugly as sin, offensively ugly, obscenely ugly, yet I couldn't take my eyes off it.

Suddenly I realized that I was staring, and that he had caught me. He had a huge smile on his face, and I saw him look from my penis to his. My gaze followed. Man, he was much larger than me, and his face showed it. Nothing needed to be said, it was clear where we stood on the male hierarchy. I felt my face bloom in red-faced embarrassment and suddenly became too self-conscious to finish urinating. I stuffed my penis, which looked like a child's compared to his, into my trousers and turned to the sinks. As I made a beeline to the exit, I cursed to myself, as a thick stream of pee noticeably had trickled down my thigh.

As we left the rest room and headed to the market, Sid leaned into my conspiratorily and whispered,

"Hey buddy I know it's big and scary but it's no reason to pee yourself." And clapped my shoulder again. His words were half encouragement and reassurance to not feel bad, and half ridicule. I chuckled along sheepishly. I was a little miffed that a guy I was paying, basically my employee, was teasing me like that, but I wanted to be good natured about it.

Later that afternoon Sid brought us to an old Roman style bath. Karen was delighted and said goodbye to us men as she went to the women's section for a full spa treatment. Sid led me into the men's section, and I turned to change into a towel. I did not want to see his big ugly cock again-once was enough. Plus I didn't want him, or any man really, seeing my smaller endowment. I had always hidden it, even from friends growing up and while playing sports.

Sid grabbed my arm to get me moving into the baths. He was very touchy feely in a way that I feel I couldn't call him out for- that if I did it would make me seem like the weird one, for being self-conscious. I thought about it for a moment, and recounted all of the times throughout the past four days that he had casually touched me. Pats on the shoulder, back, even a few playful slaps to my ass. Now as I walked at his side behind him, naked but for a towel around my waist, looking at his broad, hairy back, thick hairy legs, I almost felt like a kid following his Dad around.

"Here, let's hit the hot water pools first." I reluctantly followed his lead when he laid his towel at the side. I gingerly stepped into the hot water, eager to hide my meager manhood below the surface of the water.

In the baths, both naked in front of each other, I noticed him eyeing me up. The water was clear and only about a foot and a half deep, so our open legs were totally visible to each other. I couldn't help but notice that his penis floated up from his enormous bush like some hideous sea monster, his big crimson head bobbing out of the surface. It made me think of those photos of the Loch Ness monster.

Sid was a big guy- he hid a lot of muscle under his clothes. I pride myself on my physique, but with his big barrel chest and solid gut, I actually felt like a little weakling next to him. I had an inch of height on him but as we discussed our weight lifting regime, it turned out that at 230 lbs, the man had 45 lbs on my 185!

"How come you don't have a tattoo? Son, you haven't lived." He proudly showed off a tattoo on his surprisingly large bicep from his days in the Navy.

"God in my day, if a man your age hadn't gotten a tattoo, he wasn't a real man." I told him that I seriously doubted that and he gave me a wry smile.

"Kid I mean it. If your lily white ass showed up on my ship, we'd laugh you out of the showers, or hold you down there and ink ya up with an anchor on your buns the first port we got to. Hahaha!" I laughed along at his joke, even though it struck me as sort of strange, describing the forcible disfigurement of my ass cheek.

"Maybe we can find a place here in town one night and get your tattoo cherry popped."

"That's not gonna happen Sid." I said, smiling and shaking my head.

"Hey, never say never." He let it drop and I leaned back and looked at the tiled ceiling, relaxing in the hot water.

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We took a painful but invigorating dip in the ice water pool, then Sid led me to the steam rooms. He found us a spot in a long room that had a couple dozen other men in there. All of them were butt naked, and my stomach dropped when I saw Sid place his towel on the bench and sit upon it. He spread his legs un-self consciously and lazily scratched his balls.

"Come on Stanley, you gotta lose the towel." I shot him a look and sat down, keeping my towel on.

"Well, suit yourself." Then, faster than I could react, he leaned in and snatched my towel off of me, exposing my small penis to the entire room.

The room erupted in the laughter of 20 plus strangers, all much older men than me. I blushed like crazy and smiled along sheepishly, hoping their laughter was more directed at our antics and not at my shortcomings.

Sid carried on conversations with several of the old guys, a stream of rapid, amused verbiage punctuated by hard and cruel laughter from both sides. I smiled along uncomprehendingly, as these burly old men slapped me on the back and shoulder. One big fat guy, covered in hair, even put his arm around me, and I felt his stinking sweat seeping onto me from his armpit as he held me under him.

I noticed a leering, swarthy guy sitting across from me, making an instantly recognizable gesture with his thumb and forefinger. The universal "small penis" sign- my face burned with shame as I now knew for sure what the topic of conversation was.

More pats of consolation on my shoulder from these strangers. It was the strangest experience of my life, sensing the pity and amusement of 20 or so strange men in another country. All the while their fat uncut cocks, some almost as big as Sid's monster, but all substantially larger than mine, were in plain view. Almost mocking me as they hung heavily under the men's wide bellies. Bobbing up and down when their big guts shook with laughter. Crowned with thick bushes of swirling pubic hair, black brown gray or white, that put my sparse thatch of light brown pubes to shame.

Later when we were changing, Sid apologized. I sat on a bench tying my shoes. He was still buck naked, with his foot on the bench near me so that his big hairy hog was dangling inches from my face.

"Stanley, I didn't mean to embarrass you out there. Here's the thing, you're a sweet guy, and I honestly care about you. And I can tell that you're not 100% comfortable with yourself. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that you didn't have any older brothers growing up who maybe would have helped making you less self-conscious about your body? " I just nodded along and told him it was no big deal.

"Good. Now, tonight I'm going to take you to a fantastic restaurant in the old town, then drinks out there." I noticed that again Sid wasn't letting me get a night alone with my wife, but I felt for some reason like I shouldn't ask him to give us a night to ourselves.

"We should keep it an early night though, cause tomorrow we're hiking and going to see some amazing cliffs, and that night we're going to the hottest club in town. I'm going to show you two the night of your lives."

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