- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Love Song # 2
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
Your arms crossed and your knees drawn up, you lie –
your feet between my calves for warmth, my arm
wrapped safely round you. How I wish I could
make you reciprocate the thirst I feel;
instead I listen how your breathing gets
more nasal and more regular as we stay
until you mumble ‘sleep’ and turn away
and leave me sentenced to my own devices
and sometimes to a certain sense of shame –
another lonely quenching of the flame
you lit in me - but still I wouldn’t miss
this drowsy dropping off, nor the light kiss
you plant about my lips nor yet this warm,
soft sleepy sadness for a host of vices.
- COMMENTS
SweetOblivionover 11 years agoI really liked the general tone and feel of the poem, the way you managed to scan mainly blank verse in all but one line - superb and the overarching rhythm
I was less keen on the extra syllable at line 6 - 11 syllables - 1 too many; two arms in the first couplet and the arm being wrapped safely - surely the arm gives the aura of safety? And some nit-picky missing punctuation - e.g.: line 5 needs a colon or dash after listen and line 11 needs a couple commas perhaps; a colon after lips in line 13, commas in line 14
