- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Unaccompanied Minor
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On the accidental strength of two
rough diamonds he found himself
transplanted, well away from his country's
untowardness, from the familiar danger
of the old, war-torn bush to
our northern skies' strange stars.
He would have been hard put
to point out his whereabouts
or even to explain his fast
arranged flight's logic, frightened wonder
his new captor, and a new
and unfamiliar insecurity.
- COMMENTS
DawnJover 11 years ago...to secure the future. Sometimes, that "security" is bought at a dear price.
Ashesh9over 11 years agoEmma Watson was refused entry into USA @ JFK airport by the Border Agency on suspicions of being an illegal unaccompanied minor !!?
tazz317over 11 years agoWar is really reality if action, TK U MLJ LV NV
Desejoover 11 years agoand an unexpected one. It makes me wonder about the full story, and what comes next. This year, in the spirit of exercising my own mind, I want to make substantive comments and questions to learn from other poets. So bear with me here (smile).
Second stanza, last line. Why did you use "our" northern skies, instead of just the northern sky's, or foreign skies?
The final stanza is awkward to me. A comma after wonder would help, as it is it almost feels like it should read frightened wonder OF his new captor (which I know is not correct). Suggest "this new and unfamiliar insecurity" rather than "a new and unfamiliar insecurity".
I wonder too if you could add a darker dimension to the "captor", and whether most people will grasp the fact that yes, traffickers often do end up owning those they "help".
Really liked this.
