Dandelion Days

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110 words
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demure101
demure101
211 Followers

Dandelion days are not those weeks
when grassland wakes in yellow splendour to
another spring. They're not the lambs first yards
on dizzy limbs when sun comes warm and bright
across the eastern ridge, when moist new wings
attempt their coloured flight and all the world
is splashed with diamond facets, blue and green

and brilliant like a first impression, good
to go outside and take all in, and climb
the hopeful slope and smile – no, those are not
my dandelion days, that one short run
of waking to the world and letting go
before life turned around and I forgot
the dandelion days I used to know.

demure101
demure101
211 Followers
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DawnJDawnJalmost 11 years ago
A Ray Bradbury Moment

Why this poem reminds me of Bradbury's "Dandelion Wine" I'm not sure, but it does. That's a great coming-of-age novel...and this is a great coming-to-knowledge poem. Love it, sweetie!

HarryHillHarryHillabout 11 years ago
Stole your word facets for one of my poems

if you want to see it again send two rhyming couplets in a plain brown wrapper to..

greenmountaineergreenmountaineerabout 11 years ago

Unlike Harry I thought the enjambment worked well. I usually cringe when I see a line ending word that's a preposition, but "to" actually works well here, I think, because of the sound of the words that precede it in the line. The pause worked as one might speak the line, at least in my opinion.

I also liked the choice of an unusual, but understood, word in a poem such as "facets." By itself, it sounds almost mechanical, but with "diamond" modifying it as well as the verb "splash," it took me by surprise and suggested a very different image. Nicely done.

twelveoonetwelveooneabout 11 years ago
5ed of course

Actually, I like the EOL

smile – no, those are not

and then one rhyme propulsion to the end

Dandelion days, beginning, middle,end, pretty standard and effective, I wish more people would read yours, my usual complaint about dead language is not really apropos here, but it would be nice to see a little more "moist new wings"

Ashesh9Ashesh9about 11 years ago
What a splash of bright colours !!

Excellent ---5-ed .

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