Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereDandelion days are not those weeks
when grassland wakes in yellow splendour to
another spring. They're not the lambs first yards
on dizzy limbs when sun comes warm and bright
across the eastern ridge, when moist new wings
attempt their coloured flight and all the world
is splashed with diamond facets, blue and green
and brilliant like a first impression, good
to go outside and take all in, and climb
the hopeful slope and smile – no, those are not
my dandelion days, that one short run
of waking to the world and letting go
before life turned around and I forgot
the dandelion days I used to know.
Why this poem reminds me of Bradbury's "Dandelion Wine" I'm not sure, but it does. That's a great coming-of-age novel...and this is a great coming-to-knowledge poem. Love it, sweetie!
if you want to see it again send two rhyming couplets in a plain brown wrapper to..
Unlike Harry I thought the enjambment worked well. I usually cringe when I see a line ending word that's a preposition, but "to" actually works well here, I think, because of the sound of the words that precede it in the line. The pause worked as one might speak the line, at least in my opinion.
I also liked the choice of an unusual, but understood, word in a poem such as "facets." By itself, it sounds almost mechanical, but with "diamond" modifying it as well as the verb "splash," it took me by surprise and suggested a very different image. Nicely done.
Actually, I like the EOL
smile – no, those are not
and then one rhyme propulsion to the end
Dandelion days, beginning, middle,end, pretty standard and effective, I wish more people would read yours, my usual complaint about dead language is not really apropos here, but it would be nice to see a little more "moist new wings"