- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Writer's Ferris Wheel
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Infinite cogs whirr up there
And down here in the computer: my mind's facilitator, reflector, collector of thoughts
And in a moment of easy head-pictures I call forth the churning
Halting Writer's Ferris Wheel
Pap pap pap, tak tak tak
And I chisel off bits of my soul, bare
And ripe for the plucking
Defiling by sullied hands and greedy eyes
I rise and fall in, limping in the weight of uneasy cadence
And up: all form falls away i abolish strunk and white. ee cummings on this bitch fuck the noise kill the sound let me touch sublime heat
And down: Seated and etching out words, I prostrate myself, the neophyte readied for structure and systems
Swallowing morsels of culture and history the masters have to give
Each gear shifts me
And now I fail to cauterize the wound spilling grandiloquence, my mouth
And now, apologetic, I aim to please
Cycling through my Ferris Wheel justifies my inner volatility
Why now couldn't I care less for it, the production and harsh review?
And now why won't it stop, that hum: please them, please them, please them
And so I'll shout down to him, the conductor sipping slime-drinks, hey, get this thing going again we have places to be
Posting the trot in my seat, clamoring uncultured culturer of whirring cogs, the ebbing/flowing mechanism of my mind unbridled, manned or unmanned by a stupid whim:
The Writer's Ferris Wheel
- COMMENTS
Angelineabout 11 years agoyour facility with words is clear and you are comfortable enough with them to be playful, establish a strong voice, all good stuff.
I don't think this poem is as effective as your other posting I commented on, maybe because the theme (trying to write is an up and down process) is supposed to be expressed in the metaphor of ferris wheel, but I don't have a very strong sense of it in the poem. Maybe if there were more of a circus or carnival setting woven into it, it would feel less passive.
Still it's a 5. But this could be a stronger poem with some revising. Just my opinion to take or leave.
twelveooneabout 11 years agoi abolish strunk and white.
style takes a bit to get used too
can offer no pros or cons, sorry
interesting enough to look for your name. hope that helps.
5
HarryHillabout 11 years agoFound I had commented on nearly all of them. Great vocabulary hammering the point home. 5ed
