- Non-Erotic Poetry
- The Walk
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The narrow path
drifts off into the wood
and then gets lost. The trees
close in till grassy verges
overgrow the pale
white sand. Nothing remains
but just a track that
tentatively
rambles on. Some stretches
are quite smooth, quite soft
to go. All sounds are drowned
in a thick bed of moss
but before long
it leads on different soil,
a stumbly path of stone,
a muddy pool or marshy,
soggy, with a pale white shroud
of tempting little flowers
and you find it has
no purpose, not a goal
in mind but turns away
and just escapes from view -
and when at last you think
you'll reach the end
it gives a sudden twist
and rattles you.
- COMMENTS
DawnJabout 11 years agoThat's what's needed, and a willingness to go wherever the new path leads. And a willingness to let go of preconceived notions about the journey's end! Good one!
Angelineabout 11 years agothe poem meanders like a walk and it's very tactile with all the sense-grabbing description. I like the somewhat surprising ending but feel that it's not enough: what exactly is the twist that rattles the narrator at the end? It's sort of a tease not to tell, but maybe you wanted to leave it vague. I think you can do that but still add something more, some hint or even just a shocking image that gives the end of your poem the punch it deserves.
SweetOblivionabout 11 years agoI do hope it made all the difference. S.O.
