- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Leo's Corollary
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If I've hurt you,
I'm sure I have,
I'm sorry;
but do you often see
with backcast eyes
and little sighs
what you meant to me?
I, who traded duty and honor
for family and necessity,
recipes of heartbreak,
unpalatable but eaten,
an unseasoned meal of despair
God, I miss your salt.
- COMMENTS
theognisalmost 11 years agoI came back to read this poem again, and those last two lines still strike me as being truly exceptional, but I think Angeline actually expressed what I meant to say about the entire poem better than I did in my previous comment.
Like I said elsewhere, though, those last two lines are a real one-two knockout.
tazz317almost 11 years agohave I thought about them all. TK U MLJ LV NV
mafia_patriarchalmost 11 years agoA little puzzling, but full of regret. Taz wonders why his comments get scratched. Most of the time they have nothing to do with the story. This latest carpet bombing doesn't help either.
Angelinealmost 11 years agoI agree with anon about the title, if only because I don't know who Leo is or what his corollary means. So, as a reader, I don't get anything from the title to bring to my understanding of the poem. I also agree that the ending (especially the last line), is exceptional. The rest I can see as a dramatic monologue that works toward revealing the narrator in those last two lines. It's spare and has no wasted words and the punctuation is correct and not overdone, all really good things.
Anonymousalmost 11 years agoI don't care much at all for the title of the poem, or for the first seven lines of the poem, and very little for the next four lines of the poem, but the last two lines are so exceptional I feel compelled to rate the entire poem a five.
