- Erotic Poetry
- Cheeky
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Click heredid you know a mans beard grows fastest
when he anticipates sex?
I have to shave every day since you've been around
- COMMENTS
Angelineover 10 years agoby breaking the lines differently. For example:
Did you know a mans beard grows
fastest when he anticipates
sex? I have to shave every day
since you've been around.
Maybe that's not to your taste but if you think about what word in a line would most make a reader eager to go on to the next line, that is probably the best place to break. "Anticipates" is a natural because you want the reader to anticipate what comes next. The others maybe you could tinker with, but it's just food for thought. :-)
Overall I like that you've got a whole subtextual story resting on those few lines. That's not easy to do imo and why I keep saying you're a natural!
