In The Dim

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108 words
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wakingDown
wakingDown
653 Followers

Shuffle a little further forward
Just a hair
Get a better look, if you can

Shapes in the dim and shade
Barely lit
But was that movement there?

Listen careful and hold breath
Strain to hear
Furtive scrape and slide, so slight

Another step closer into the dark
Into dim
Into the shadows that hide so well

There it is so clear and bright now
Wide grin
White teeth gleam in the shadows

Teeth like railroad spikes yet longer
Giant needles
The sickening smile of a hungry beast

But now you are here, in the dark
In the dim
In the shadow where it hunts, and lost

wakingDown
wakingDown
653 Followers
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3 Comments
DesejoDesejoover 10 years ago

I'm not sure exactly what this is about, but it doesn't matter. The lack of clarity and things that go bump in the night quality is part of the poem. Well done.

AngelineAngelineover 10 years ago
You're doing good work here wD

Your poems are often painful for me to read because of the subject matter, but I think any poem that evokes emotion in me as a reader is doing something right. And there is a little hopeful ending to this poem, unless I have it wrong. Keep writing and push yourself in new directions as you can. Some wonderful lines, by the way, lots of muted movement.

Thank you for the read.

HarryHillHarryHillover 10 years ago
Furtive scrape and slide, so slight

Liked this line WD. leaves a visual and aural image in me. enjoyed the cadence and denouement.