Alice and the Looking Glass Ch. 08

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Chapter 8. The Regatta
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Part 8 of the 19 part series

Updated 10/30/2022
Created 09/26/2013
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Hatter was unusually excited. Today was one of the highlights of the season and as usual most of the elite of Wonderland would be wearing his latest creations. Haute Couture was his livelihood and the annual event that bought all of society together dressed in their finest meant a payday that would ensure an adequate supply of both Darjeeling and perfumed ass pomade. The Commodores Pavilion was bustling with activity, tables being busily prepared for luncheon and heavy wagers being placed at the bookmakers stands on one crew or another. From the odds shown it was apparent to Alice that the Red Queens crew was heavily favored. In fact the chalk boards were showing odds of twenty to one on, an almost impossibly small chance of them failing to win.

"Hatter, why does everyone bet on the Red Crew?"

"Because the Queen cheats of course, it's a certainty!"

"But that's really not fair!"

Hatter shook his head at the girl's naivety. Politics demanded that the Red Queen had to win. Indeed the only reason anyone ever bet against Red was in the blind hope that a sea serpent would rise up from the deep and eat the boat and crew whole before it crossed the finish line. Chances of that were quite remote and even then the Queen would probably overturn the result for some obtuse rule infringement.

"Who is that Hatter?"

Alice had spotted a very fine figure of a man, dressed in an impeccable morning suit and studying a large gold watch he had retrieved from his waistcoat pocket.

"That's Peter Rabbit of course, the Queens official timekeeper. He starts and finishes everything!"

Alice was about to make further inquiries when a shrill blast of whistles cut through the crowd's cacophony and three corridors opened as jauntily dressed sailors made room for the participants to carry their craft to the jetty. Each craft was toted on the shoulders of the eight crewmen and led by a much smaller individual with a large megaphone. Behind each hull trailed eight very cheap looking girls more suitably dressed for a burlesque show than a major sporting event.

"It's a rowing race!"

Having been to many a rowing regatta in support of her college Alice was suddenly feeling very at home.

"Well yes everyone knows that."

Celia had arrived at Alice's side and felt it immediately necessary to put her in her place.

"I was just trying to get in the right spirit Celia."

For once Alice's put down expression had some effect and Celia reached under her skirt and tweaked the ever ready hard clitoris.

Sorry Alice didn't mean to be a damp squid."

It had been several hours since her last climax and Alice squirted with appreciation on Celia's fingers.

The crew lowered the racing craft carefully into the water and one by one took their places in the very sleek hulls. Finally satisfied all was ready the minuscule coxswains climbed aboard removing their lower garments to expose huge gnarled phallus's. It was then Alice noticed something was missing.

"Where are the oars?"

Hatter and Celia answered in chorus.

"They're standing on the jetty of course!"

Alice sighed loudly and said nothing. The difficulty with Wonderland was nothing seemed to make sense unless taken with a huge pinch of snuff. She had started to understand that not everything in existence had to have any other purpose beyond making life more pleasurable. As if to amplify the point Celia rotated the rifled butt plug Alice was wearing sufficiently to make her tight sphincter ooze a little joy.

"I used to be a sculling oar."

Doreen had finally caught up with the other three and had draped herself around a 'keep of the grass' sign to facilitate remaining upright.

"Three years I practiced stroking till I was quite the expert. Then the Commodore changed the rules."

"No use being bitter Doreen. The path to perfect penetration is purposely populated with piteous proclamations!"

"Oh Hatter I do love it when you Pee for us!"

"Is the Commodore very grand?"

Alice decided to move the conversation away from Hatters urinal capacity simply to cease her own uteruses constant contraction.

"The Griffin is without doubt the grandest of all the Wonderland inhabitants, if you discount the Lion and Unicorn of course."

Doreen was trying hard to continue her involvement in the discussion but had slipped to her knees already.

"A Griffin? He must be very frightening to behold."

"Not at all cow, in fact he is just a big pussycat."

Alice suddenly felt the intense itching between her thighs that indicated that Cheshire was beginning to appear again.

"Where did that meow come from?"

Celia was looking around their feet expecting to see some stray.

"I need to use the bathroom."

Alice decided that retreat was a better course of action than trying to explain her metamorphic vagina.

"Let me show you the way."

Celia was very keen on the idea of having Alice squat in front of her. Something about the thought of a piss soaked labia was so appealing.

"Thank you Celia but I am sure I can find the way."

Alice turned away quickly before any further discussion could take place and headed in the general direction of a distinctly urinary aroma.

"Don't be a too long the races are about to start. You don't want to miss them dipping the oars in the water."
The restroom tents stood out splendidly in their bright yellow color, especially with the addition of red flecks splattered about in a very bright show.

"Thank god for that. I can breathe again."

Cheshire started to speak as soon as Alice's flow allowed for an interruption. The luxuriant ginger coat had returned in its full glory.

"Are you going to insist on stuffing my mouth with anything and everything you can find?"

In a form of answer Alice started to finger the puss's mouth deep and hard. The resultant fanfare from her ass reverberated around the canvas cubicle for several minutes.

"That's better. Just something I needed to get of my chest."

Cheshire started to giggle and as she did started quickly to withdraw back into her follicle panic room.

"ALICE!"

The yell was echoed almost immediately.

"ALICE!"

The voices were so familiar.

"I called her."

"No, I called her."

The sound of a huge hullabaloo hastened Alice's thoughts of wiping to a quick double stamp.
Tweedledee had Tweedledum's head forced in a large freestanding pissoir and was intent on urinating in his brother's ear. Tweedledum for his part was reaching back desperately in an attempt to squeeze Tweedledee's testicles like a pair of walnuts ripe for cracking.

"Do you really have to fight all the time?"

Alice was still a little upset by the sudden arrival and subsequent disappearance of the Cheshire pussy.

"We prefer to fuck ass!"

The two small persons spoke as one.

"Not now, I am really not in the mood!"

The twins stopped sparring and both stared at Alice as if stupefied.

"Are you sick? Did you catch the clap? You haven't become a dyke?"

"No, No , NO!"

"Thank the 'Looking Glass' for that; far too many cunt only eaters around here already. What with them and the ass bandits its getting almost impossible to be heterosexual. We, the poor underprivileged minority are put upon by the not so silent majority. I think they ought to pass legislation to make sexual discrimination illegal!"

Hear hear brother! All power to the underprivileged straight fuckers commune!"

"WHAT!"

The Red Queen exited the last cubicle on the right shaking her penis dry of droplets.

"You two are tiny subversives, the worst kind of all! Guards, guards, arrest these miniscule commie dittos!"

Alice grabbed the floundering twin's hands in hers and dashing straight out of the rear exit dodged into Father Williams Carnival and Freak Show.

"Closed, we are closed!"

The voice came from behind a flag above the three fugitive's heads.

"We don't want to see anything just hide for a little please."

Alice put on her best pleading voice. The one she used when she wanted extra spanks from the college professors.

"You can stay till Father Williams gets back but only if you let me down."

"That's very nice of you, but how do we let you down if we can't see you?"

"Use the crank on the flagpole."

Tweedledee and Tweedledum grasped the long lever and carefully turning the mechanism anticlockwise lowered Imogen Chelonii to lay belly down on the rutted ground.

"I was getting very cold up there. Seemed such a good idea when I thought of it but I never think the consequences right through."

Alice couldn't think of anything to say. Her eyes were so busy taking in the amazingly complex array of rings and ribbons that crisscrossed Imogen's torso from neck to ankle that she was for a moment speechless.
"Can you stand me up PLEASE!"

"Oh yes sorry, of course, excuse our slowness."

"Your staring at me!"

"No, not at all we are just a little occupied."

"YOUR STARING AT ME!"

Tweedledum and Tweedledee couldn't resist stating the obvious.

"You work in a fucking freak show!"

"Its still rude to stare!"

Alice was mesmerized. Having successfully got Imogen to an upright position and seeing her face clearly, a stunningly beautiful visage already, Alice was transfixed by the lingual adaption that flicked in and out of view as she spoke. The tip was split to a depth of at least an inch and had been artistically pierced with tiny rings and clasps to give it the exact appearance of a partially open metal zipper.

"That would feel amazing in my cunt!"

"I am not a sex object!"

"YOUR IN A FUCKING FREAK SHOW!"

The twins were laughing so loudly at their own wit that they began rolling around like a pair of self righting matryoshka in a budgerigar cage. Meanwhile Alice with her newly enhanced sexual self confidence and eclectic inquisitiveness french-ed Imogen long and deep.

"I kissed a girl and I liked it, the feel of her armature mouth stick
I kissed a girl just to feel it, I hope my cunt will survive it.
It felt so hard, it felt so sharp, like tiny pins right through my heart
I kissed a girl and I liked it, I liked it."

Alice just couldn't resist singing or indeed pissing voluminously in the dirt.


"I sing in the carnival. That's my job!"

Imogen sounded very proud.

"People come for miles to hear me perform my song."

Tweedledee and Tweedledum had dissolved into a constant barrage of jocularity and tears streamed from their eyes to mix with Alice's fresh urine in a huge ever expanding pool.

"Please sing for me Imogen. I would love to hear you perform."

Imogens face went very pale and her eyes widened and widened till they seemed about to swallow the rest of her face. Her voice was beautiful, but so sad. Just like a virgin about to die without ever tasting cock or dildo. As she began to sing floods of salty droplets rolled down her cheeks to add to the ever growing pool below.


"Won't you suck a little faster?"
Said a punter to a whore,
I want to cum quite badly
And my cock is getting sore.
See how tightly now my testicles
Are filling up their pouch
Waiting to deliver all
And pebble dash the couch.
So, will you, won't you, won't you,
Will you, won't you swallow down?
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you swallow down?


"My precum is collecting
On the velvet mushroom head
Ready for your eager tongue
As I relax upon on the bed!"
The whore replied, "Not yet, not yet!"
And nibbled at his crown –
Said she liked the punter greatly
But she would not swallow down.
So, would not, could not, would not,
Could not, would not swallow down.
Would not, could not, would not,
Could not, could not swallow down.


"I cannot hold the semen in."
The punter quickly quote,
The fish have started swimming
And are heading for your throat.
Time is of the essence
Please don't wear a frown
Think of Good Old England
And gladly swallow down.
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, will you swallow down?
Will you, won't you, won't you,
Will you, won't you swallow down?

Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you swallow down?
Will you, won't you, will you,
Won't you, won't you swallow down?

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