A Death in the Family

A death in the family, hit me hard
A rough month to date, I can say
My mum is now dead and I am so sad
The pain's taking time to go away

We have not been so close
In these later years
And I guess I regret some of that
But she has made me
A lot of what I am today
And for that I am most glad

She always loved us, it must be said
But she wasn't always tender
She didn’t hug us and kiss us a lot
Especially as we got older

I could have done more to help
Guess we all think the same
But I know this much about her
She wouldn’t apportion blame

It was grim to see her in her last days
She looked so frail and old
I held her hand and said goodbye
Remembering what I’d been told

“It doesn’t matter what you do
As long as you are happy
If things don’t work out for you
There’ll always be a place for you here”

She told me that several times in my life
I’ve not really needed it much
But when She died, I needed her then
To be there for me to touch

To feel her arms around me
Like when I was very small
To take the pain and hurt away
To pick me from my fall

We have not been so close
In these later years
And I guess I regret some of that
But she has made me
A lot of what I am today
And for that I am most glad

I’ll remember her always
And think of her often
The hurt, it might go away
But the memories, they won’t soften