Total Gift of Love

This is a true love story. I realize it may not seem so for some but for myself and those who believe as I do it is the closest that we on earth can come to paradise. Keep in mind that not everyone can believe and love in the same manner. (And please excuse my use of some very basic terminology for some body parts as I was attempting to use the language that my husband and I use in our intimate moments.)

Growing up I always wanted to be a wife and mother. I was the eldest in a family of twelve and I always marvelled at how my mother and father lived in perfect harmony. I can't ever remember a cross word being spoken between them. That happiness was what I wanted for myself when I married.

As I approached my eighteenth birthday an introduction was arranged between the son of another family in our church and myself. He was twenty years old and already well established in his family business. After that initial meeting supervised thrice-weekly 'dates' were arranged between us. Even from the beginning I found him very attractive, tall, muscular and very athletic and very soon I found myself falling in love with him even though we were never allowed to even touch each other - and he said that he was feeling the same way.

He was invited to my birthday which included both his family and mine and at that party just after the birthday cake was served he stood up and asked my father if he could ask for my hand in marriage. My father readily agreed and then before all present he turned to me and proposed. I excitedly accepted. We had never even kissed and he was the first boyfriend I had ever had but I was sure that he was the only one in the world for me.

Then came a period of pre-marital counselling. This involved my going to stay at the home of a young couple also from the church - the woman was to be my mentor and her husband was to counsel my fiance but that was to be at another location and it did not require my fiance living away from his home. This would take one month.

Marion, my mentor, was in the eighth month of her fourth pregnancy.

As the days passed she talked to me at length about how when she married she gave her husband the greatest gift that anyone can bestow upon another human being - herself. And she went on to explain that no gift is a true gift unless it is given without any reservations. It was at that time that she reached her pinnacle of happiness. She had only been half alive up to that time. She was firm in her belief that true love does not know the word 'no.' Her body was her husband's because she had given it to him and as such she would never refuse to allow him full use of it. It was not just enough to submit to him but it must be done with a joyful, giving heart. Anything less would deceitful.

Then she would tenderly place her hand on her distended stomach and say that each time that he filled her with his love and it became a growing child her happiness was complete.

Marion showed me a video of an animated view of a woman's reproductive tract. It was beautifully done with soft music and flowers and a soft-voiced narrator. Each part and its function was described. Then an animated penis entered the vagina and proceeded up the channel as the music reached a crescendo the penis ejected a fluid - this fluid went to meet a waiting egg and soon it began to grow.

Marion then explained that one of her greatest joys was during intercourse and as he was depositing his seed into her she would visualize her eggs coming down to meet his sperm. She would actually keep saying to herself, "Please fertilize me and make it so I can carry your baby within me."

She went on to tell me that her husband was a man with a great appetite when it came to lovemaking and that often he would ask her to have intercourse many times during a day but as she had given him the gift of her body she would never dream of refusing and she always complied with love and joyfulness and in that she would get the greatest reward in spite of any physical discomfort. She said that when she was in the last stages of her pregnancy he would ask her to satisfy him in other ways which she did not elaborate on. In fact during my month in their home I would see a look pass between them, usually when he returned from work in the afternoon and then again in the evening. She would then quietly ask me to watch the children for 'a few minutes' while she did a little task for her husband. In about half an hour she would reappear with a flushed face and a dreamy smile. I suspected they were making love but I could not understand how it would be possible with her huge stomach - surely it would be very uncomfortable to have a man lie on top of her. Perhaps they were doing it in the 'other way' she had referred to.

She advised me when my husband and I were having intercourse to keep repeating the mantra of, "Please enter me and fill me with your seed" as I willed my eggs to come down and join with his sperm each time we had intercourse. Anything less would be basing my marriage on deceit.

There were many more videos showing beautiful women who were in varying stages of pregnancy and who were positively glowing in their happiness. It became evident to me that that was how one reached the ultimate in beauty and self-realization.

When Marion went into labour I was allowed to watch the birth. Her husband was there supporting her and they kept professing their love for each other as she struggled through the delivery. Then as she held the newborn to nurse at her breast and he encircled his arms around her I was filled with the wonder of it all. I was filled with anticipation for the time when I would be in the same position with my own husband.

I helped Marion with her newborn for the following weeks. During this time she confided to me that as soon as all discharge from the birth had cleared up she would be able to resume marital relations with her husband and she was eagerly awaiting that time. In the meantime she said that if he needed her to give him release she would use other methods but she seemed too shy to elaborate. She merely said that my husband would explain all that to me in good time.

By this time I was sure that I was ready for marriage and understood and was willing to commit myself to giving of myself without any reservations.

Our pastor met with my fiance and myself to review how we felt about what we had learned during the past month. We both reassured him that we understood the requirements and had learned what was involved in order to have a successful marriage. Once again I was asked if I understood the implications involved in the giving of myself as a true gift without any reservations and if I understood that true love does not ever use the word 'no.' I was emphatic in my statement that I fully understood and was not only willing but anxious to embark on this next chapter of my life. The pastor then said that he believed we were ready and the date was set for a month's time.

It was a beautiful wedding with all of our families and friends present. We had our first kiss as soon as we were pronounced man and wife.

Then came the wedding night.

I was a virgin who was deeply in love with my husband and I was sure that everything would be wonderful and beyond my wildest dreams.

Once alone and in our room I quickly put on my pretty nightie and got covered up in our bed. Nelson, my husband, removed his clothes and then stood beside the bed and asked me to look as he flexed his penis. It started out hanging limply but almost instantly it was standing up long and hard looking. I knew what would be expected of me and I wondered how I would be able to accommodate all of it.

He said, "Lucy, my love, I pledged to give myself to you as the most sacred gift a man can give to his wife. This I have pledged to do wholly without reservation. This means that when we make love I will hold nothing back and I pledged that I would fill your beautiful body in every way it is possible for a man to fill his wife for it is only by our giving of each other that we will truly become as one." During this past month I have learned much and I will attempt to be everything that a dedicated husband should be. I have watched many videos of the various ways we can have sex so that we will truly be as one person, I have learned and I know that sometimes I will have to teach you ways to give yourself - ways you may find hard but remember that anything I do I will be doing in love and in the ways of our teachings." I have never before been with a woman but my instructions have been very explicit and my penis is the tool that I am to use to bring both of us to a closeness that is beyond all of our desires and expectations. That is why I am showing it to you while I talk to you."

With that he asked me to remove my clothing which he tenderly folded and placed over the back of the bedside chair. Then he asked me to spread my legs. He lay on top of me and kissed me deeply probing inside my mouth with his tongue. My body began to fill with heat in anticipation, he eased back and placed the head of his penis at the entrance to my vagina. Ever so gently he began probing just a little at a time until I felt him inside my opening. With ever mounting pressure each time filling me more until with after a few minutes he gave a hard thrust and I was filled with a searing pain. In spite of myself I screamed out in shock. He kept plunging in and out until his penis began to convulse inside me. When that was over he just lay flat on top of me and stayed still. Finally he said, "Good, you are now a woman and have received the first of my many gifts."

The pain of that first thrust was easing and I was shamed and humiliated by the fact that I had screamed out in pain and I said, "I am so sorry that I did not show you the love and joy that you should be able to expect from your wife. Can you ever forgive me for spoiling our first lovemaking? I promise I will try harder the next time. Please give me another chance."

He cradled me in his arms and told me that I would get many more chances to prove my love and acceptance of him and within the hour he was on top of me again this time plunging in and out of me with a demonic fury. The pain was less severe and I managed to rise up and meet his thrusts as my mentor had instructed me in my learning sessions. Surprisingly I began to feel a warmth flood through me and as he was filling me I began to moan with the pure joy of it all. My whole body was convulsing in rhythm to his. We were truly as one person.

He rolled off me and I lay weeping beside him, "My darling, you have made me feel more wonderful than I have ever felt in my whole life. These are tears of joy. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you more than I can ever tell you."

Six more times that night we made love. Towards the end I was in great pain but I kept repeating the mantra, "Please fertilize me and make it so I can carry your baby within me." All the while trying to visualize his sperm meeting my eggs and making a baby. It was as if I was outside myself and watching my husband fuck a woman lying on a blood-drenched padding of towels on our marriage bed.

In the morning as I got up and looked at my blood encrusted body I realized that it was really me. I was still bleeding profusely.

We got in the shower together and Nelson tenderly soaped me down and held the portable shower head to rinse me. I clung to him and kissed him with total abandon. Then I soaped him down and as he rinsed he pressed on my head and told me to take his penis in my mouth. Without question I sank to my knees and placed my mouth around its head. Uncertainly I held it in my mouth but he began to thrust forward and told me to suck. I did the best I could but soon he raised me up and towelled me dry. "Thank goodness that is over," I thought but I was wrong.

Luckily my mother had slipped some sanitary pads in my suitcase so I put one on to catch the blood which was still flowing freely.

"Time to finish your lesson on sucking, my love. Come to the bed and start again where we left off." he said. He was lying on his back and motioned for me to take my position with his penis in my mouth. "Now take as much as you can in your mouth. Use your tongue to play over the underside and the head, suck pull back than suck it fully inside your mouth, take it as far back as you can right to your throat and try to swallow it. If I start to come you are to swallow that all also. I am taking possession of another part of your body as your mouth is also part your gift to me."

I did as he instructed when he instructed to the best of my ability. As I worked on him I began to feel my cunt contract in time with my sucks. He had his hand down there and that seemed to please him as he kept saying, "Good girl, keep it up and soon I will give you a real treat." Then he held me by the back of my head and began face fucking me pushing himself right into my throat until I could feel his balls against my face. I gagged but then I began to accept him as far as I could. When he shot his load I was able to swallow it as he was almost down my throat as it was.

"You're bleeding so much we will have to use your mouth each time I get hard today but from what I have learned it is important that each time I get hard we are to fuck one way or another as that is the way of our teachings regarding married folks. The word 'No' does not exist for married folk."

As this was his first time to be with a woman it seemed that his penis never tired of getting hard and each time I was presented with the task of relieving him of his problem. Each time I sucked his penis I met him with love and joy and each time my vagina responded as it it was craving to be filled but unfortunately it was still bleeding.

We were two lovers who seemed to be on an endless quest for satiation but by the end of that day my throat was sore, my face was chafed and red from rubbing against his pelvic hair and my lips were bruised and swollen from the endless sucking and pounding.

"Your mouth is in need of time to rest and recover and it is evident that your cunt will be out of action for at least another day so there is one place in your body that I have not yet taken possession of. Look in your suitcase for the equipment that your mother sent and see if there is an apparatus for taking an enema."

I had never had an enema and was puzzled as to why my mother would include such a thing but I guess she knew what would be in store for me. I looked and sure enough, there was a hot water bottle with a hose and nozzle. Nelson directed me to take towels and lay them on the bathroom floor. Then he told me to lie down on the towels. He filled the bottle up with luke warm water and attached the nozzle and hose to the bottle. He lubricated the nozzle and inserted it into my anus. Then he turned the bottle so that the opening was at the bottom and hung it up. He held the nozzle in my anus and soon I felt a warm pleasant feeling as the water began to enter me. "That feels wonderful," I smiled up at him. But that pleasure soon turned to cramps and then pain as I filled more. He continued to hold the nozzle to prevent any water from escaping and he massaged my stomach in a circular motion so that I could accommodate more and more. Once the bottle was emptied and my stomach was distended he held the nozzle in for twenty minutes as tears streamed down my cheeks all the while I kept telling him how much I loved him and wanted him to be totally pleased with me. After the twenty minutes were up I used the toilet and again, after a very brief rest he gave me another enema as he explained that it was necessary for me to be totally clean for his use. During this second session I prayed that I would be able to hold up and withstand all the future trials that were in store with joy and love. After emptying I felt very refreshed and totally clean - a real feeling of well-being.

The whole time during my enemas Nelson had a raging erection as watching me in that position seemed to excite him. He asked me to lie down on the edge of the bed with knees on the floor and my upper body face down on the bed. He lubricated my anus and began to press his penis at the opening while telling me to relax my muscles. I tried to do as he directed and after a heavy push his head got past my sphincter. That hurt but was a relief as I thought the pain was over. But as he worked in deeper and deeper the pain became unbearable especially as he pushed in and out. I kept reciting the mantra "Please fill me with your love, please fill me with your love . . ." while trying to not let him see my discomfort. Then I began to feel aroused and in spite of myself I began pushing back to meet his thrusts and in no time he filled me there with his juices. When he was totally soft he pulled out and covered me with kisses while telling me how much he loved me. And now he had laid claim to my body in every one of my openings. We both rejoiced in this coming together.

For the rest of that day each time he got an erection we had anal intercourse and even though it was painful I did enjoy it and came to climax several times

My vagina had recovered enough to be used and in the following weeks it seemed that the only time we weren't making love was when we were having our meals or in the sleep of the satiated. We usually had regular intercourse as that is the way that we feel closest and we knew that is the only way that I would become pregnant and we both look on that as the ultimate joining of our two souls. But there were also times when Nelson wished for me to pleasure him orally and at other times he wanted to use my anus. He always got very hard while he was watching me as he gave me my cleansing enemas so every few days we would go that route.

• • •

We have now been back in our own home for seven months and there has never been a cross word spoken between us. Each time we make love it brings us even closer and I have never felt the slightest urge to use the word 'no' even though Nelson's erections happen often - several times a day and, if he is at home when that occurs, I am more than happy to relieve him with happiness and joy. It does make week-ends when he does not go to work a very busy time. It is a true utopia.

Apart from visits with our families and our church we have seldom left home.

Our love is bearing fruit and we are so excited about the new life that has been created. I must have become fertilized the first week of our marriage as in two more months we will welcome our first child. The first of many, we hope.

In the meantime we are being more careful and abstaining from anal intercourse and using oral more often to lessen the demands on my vagina as our baby develops.

Nelson tells me that I am becoming more beautiful each day as my body expands to accommodate the growing life within me. He will lovingly stroke my belly and talk to the little baby within while I gently stroke his penis which has given me all this joy. Then often I will suck it until he shoots a load down my throat. I have become able to take it right down my throat so that he can deposit his elixir directly into my stomach. As Nelson says, "Practice makes perfect."

I have learned the meaning of true happiness.