A Dish Served ColdbyJust Plain Bob©
I waved at the security guard as if I belonged there and gave him a cheery good morning as I headed for the elevators. I got on and hit the button for the third floor. When the door opened on three I quickly got off and went directly to the employees bulletin board. I took a piece of paper from my pocket and thumbtacked it to the board and then headed for the men's bathroom. Once inside I went into each of the four stalls and using a magic marker I wrote the same thing on all four of the stall walls. I used the stairwell to go up to the fourth floor where I repeated what I had done on three and then I took the stairwell down to the lobby. I had a huge smile on my face as I walked out the front door of the building.
It has been said over and over again that, "Revenge is a dish best served cold." I've never understood the saying; I could never figure out if it meant that you should wait until the person you wanted revenge on had forgotten about you or if it meant that whatever you did to get your revenge had to be something 'stone cold.'
If it was the former then I didn't have the patience to wait that long and if it was the latter, well, I guess that you could consider what I had just done a very stone cold thing to do. And that was only half of it. The other half took place when I sat at my computer this morning. I figured that all hell would break loose around ten that morning and I had conveniently taken the day off from work and once I had gotten home from running my little errand I took the phone off the hook. Then, everything in place, I grabbed a good book and settled down on the couch to enjoy a nice, leisurely morning.
It all started the way most of these things start - an unexpected trip to the house during the day and finding a familiar car in the driveway. Why would Brian be visiting my house in the middle of the day? The answer was immediately apparent as soon as I was in the front door.
"Damn it Marlene, you are tight. Doesn't Robert fuck you anymore?"
"Not near enough sweetie, and nowhere near as good as you do. Come on lover, push it in deep and fuck me. We only have two hours until you have to go."
I couldn't believe it. It was a fucking clich‚ - my best friend was fucking my wife! And on top of that she was telling him I wasn't worth a shit in bed. That really hurt. I'd always thought that Marlene and I had a great sex life. Four or five times a week and more often than not twice on those occasions and then a quickie in the morning before heading off to work.
I guess most men would have gone charging into the bedroom screaming and ready to kick ass and take names, but I wasn't most men. My motto since the eighth grade has been, "Don't get mad, get even." I very quietly made my way into my home office and got my mini-recorder and a fresh tape. I crept as close to the bedroom door as I dared, opened the linen closet door a crack and put the recorder where it would pick up the most from the bedroom and then I quietly left the house.
When I got home that night Marlene had dinner ready as usual. She had a fresh pitcher of martinis in the icebox and we sat down and had our usual before dinner cocktail and made small talk.
"How was your day sweetie?"
"Full of the usual bullshit meetings and conference calls. How was yours?"
"Pretty boring. I went shopping for groceries this morning, did a load of laundry and then read a book for the rest of the afternoon."
"No, just one of those Nora Roberts bodice rippers."
"Usual story? Wife having a sordid affair with the hubby's best friend?"
"Yes, pretty much."
After dinner I helped with the dishes and the I went and retrieved my cassette recorder and then went in to my home office to 'catch up on some paperwork'. I rewound the tape, hit the PLAY button and then listened as my wife and my so-called best friend disparaged me between bouts on the bed. What interested me most were the arrangements they made for their next meetings. They planned on getting together the day after tomorrow (tomorrow was out - have to get my hair done you know) and Brian was planning to spend two nights with Marlene when I went out of town the following week. I would like to know how he was going to swing that without his wife finding out what he was up to. Apparently, from their conversation anyway, it would not be the first time Brian had kept Marlene company when I'd gone out of town. Anyway, with that information at hand I began to plan.
It is just flat-assed amazing the information that you can find on the Internet. Two hours of surfing and I had almost all that I needed. A trip to Radio Shack and Electronics Avenue and a credit card got me the rest. I went home during the day when I knew Marlene would be at the hairdressers and then using the information I got off the Net and my purchases I rigged a tape recorder to the phone line and hid a voice activated tape recorder in the bedroom. The rest would have to wait for the weekend which was when Marlene went to visit her mother and sister.
That night when I got home I retrieved the tape from the recorder on the phone line and listened to a ten minute conversation between Brain and Marlene where they told each other how much they missed each other and couldn't hardly wait until the next day when they could again be in each other's arms.
The next day, while Marlene was doing the dishes, I got the tape out of the recorder in the bedroom and later in my office I listened to it. Aside from the sounds of sex I got to listen to the two of them talk about how stupid Bev (Brian's wife) and I were, about how they had been fucking each other for over a year and Bev and I were none the wiser. Brian bad mouthed Bev and said she was lousy in bed. Marlene shot me through the grease by pointing out all my failings (all lies - I swear) and then telling Brian how happy she was that he had come into her life. I put the tape in a safe place and put a fresh one in the recorder.
When I left for Seattle on Monday my bedroom was wired for both pictures and sound. I had three mini-cams positioned to record everything that went on in the bedroom and feed it to three electronically activated VCRs inside a cabinet in my den. A test run had shown that as long as there was light in the room I would get decent pictures.
It was an expensive setup, but fortunately I could afford it. Besides, it would pay for itself in what I wouldn't have to pay out when the time for the divorce came. Motion detectors turned on the cameras and the cameras coming on turned on the VCRs. No motion for five minutes turned off the cameras, which in turn shut down the VCRs. As my flight lifted off I was looking forward to watching some interesting footage when I got home. I was going to be severely pissed if the setup didn't work.
I waited until ten in the evening to call Marlene because I knew from the recorded conversations that Brain was planning on being there by seven. Marlene answered the phone and she sounded a little out of breath. I asked her about it and she said she was riding her Exercycle in the basement and was talking to me on the cordless. In the middle of the conversation I heard a sharp intake of breath and I knew without a doubt that the tape would show Brian sliding his cock into Marlene at that point in the conversation. We talked for another minute or so and then I told her that I loved her and that I missed her and she said the same things back to me and I hung up.
The next night the call was almost a carbon copy of the call the night before except that I said that I was going to be horny as hell when I got home and Marlene said that was good because she planned on fucking me to death when I got home.
And she did. I fell asleep absolutely exhausted the night I came home. Marlene could not keep her hands off me and I was almost tempted to ask why she thought that I was so bad in bed, but then that would have spoiled my surprise.
The next day I reviewed the tapes in the three VCRs and found that I had some good footage, some really great footage and a lot of shitty footage, but the most important thing was that I had enough good footage to work with. But I wasn't done, not yet. Over the next three weeks the VCRs and the tape recorders just taped away as Brian came over and romped with Marlene.
On a Saturday when Marlene was visiting her mother and sister I sat down and reviewed what I had and started working with it. I had some really great stuff that was almost professional porno quality and mixed with the 'just good' stuff it gave me a video that was almost two hours long. I made a small tape that I was going to keep for myself; it included a scene where Brain was shoving his cock deep in Marlene's ass and she was screaming and begging him to never stop. There was another scene where Marlene had cum dripping from her cunt and Brian crawling under her so it could drip down into his mouth.
Most of the footage was simple suck and fuck, but what was most important to me was clarity. It was absolutely essential to my plan that I have plenty of footage with a clearly recognizable Brian and a clearly recognizable Marlene.
The day I was waiting for arrived and I packaged copies of everything that I had into two parcels and then I took them to the Post Office and sent them off. It was a Saturday morning and I requested 2-Day Priority Mail so the packages would be delivered Monday. Then I went home and put the rest of my plan into play. Two days later a couple of computer keystrokes and a visit to where Brian worked and it was over. All I had to do was sit back and wait.
Marlene came home from her weekly beauty shop appointment and was surprised to find me lying on the couch reading a book. She had some groceries with her and she went into the kitchen to put them away.
"Honey? Did you know that the phone is off the hook?"
"No sweetie, I didn't. I must have knocked it off when I made myself a sandwich and not have noticed."
She had no sooner put the phone back in the cradle than it rang.
"Are you sure?"
"What are you going to do?"
"Okay, I'll go look. What was it again?"
I heard her leave the kitchen and go into the family room where we keep the computer. About two minutes went by and then I heard a sharp cry. I smiled to myself as Marlene perused her very own porno site. Two minutes later she stormed into the room.
"You bastard! What have you done?"
"Made you famous sweetie. You should be a household name by now, at least among Brian's co-workers. It is probably unfortunate that he works for the company that his father in law owns, but what the hell, according to him Bev was a lousy wife anyway so he won't miss her when she's gone. And I doubt that he would want to keep his job and have to face his ex-father in law every day. Then again he might not have any say in whether he stays or goes. That will probably depend on how daddy feels when he pulls up the web site and sees what Brian has to say about Bev."
I looked at my watch, "Bev should be opening her package right about now, at least if the Post Office is on time delivering to Bev's street."
"Package? What package?"
"Nothing much, just a copy of every tape I've made of you and Brian over the last three weeks."
"My God! How could you do such a thing to me?"
"It was easy Marlene. All I had to do was remember that you were stabbing me in the back with the asshole who was supposed to be my best friend. The worst part for you hasn't hit yet. I imagine that it won't happen until five-thirty or six."
The phone rang and I said, "Or maybe sooner."
"Oh hi mom.
I didn't hear another word so I got up and followed her into the kitchen. She was standing there, face as white as chalk, as her mother yakked away on the other end.
"Something wrong" I innocently asked.
"How could you send that to my parents wrapped as an anniversary present?"
"Hey sweetie, at least I remembered their anniversary."
"What else have you done?"
"Posted your web site address on every shit house wall where Brian works along with the message "For a good time call Marlene at" and I put down your cell phone number. I also posted the same stuff on all the bulletin boards there. Let's see, what else did I do? Oh yeah. I sent an email to everyone in your address book. I said, "Hey! Look at the new me" and of course there were attachments. I would love to be there and see your grandmother's face when she sees you begging Brian to fuck your asshole."
She stared at me for almost a full minute and then said, "How could you hate me so much?"
"It was easy Marlene. All I had to do was watch the tapes and listen to what you had to say about me when you were with Brian. Speaking of Brian, Bev has probably tossed his ass out by now. Give him a call, maybe he'll let you live with him."
"What? Why are you saying something like that? Why in God's name would I want to live with that oaf?"
"I don't know Marlene, but you are not staying here. I'm taking you at your word. I'm stupid, I'm no good in bed and I'm not all that great as a husband. I got it all on tape Marlene, so pack your shit and get out of here."
Just then the phone rang again.
"You better get that. It is probably your boyfriend wanting to cry on your shoulder."
Marlene answered the phone and then held it out to me, "It's for you."
I took the phone and found that it was Bev. "I got an interesting package in the mail today. It had no return address, but the content made me somehow think of you. Know anything about it?"
"Guilty. Sorry if it upset you, but I had an uncontrollable urge to get some revenge."
"Don't apologize. I've suspected the asshole was cheating on me for some time now, but I could never prove it. Thanks, I owe you one. What are you doing on your end?"
I looked over at Marlene and said, "She'll be out of here in an hour."
"I'm surprised you're giving her that much time. All I did was call asshole and tell him not to bother coming home - ever. My dad called me an hour ago and wanted to know what I wanted him to do so I told him and Brian is now among the unemployed. Any way, I owe you."
"When the dust clears I'll let you buy me a drink."
"Deal. I'll talk to you later."
I hung up the phone and looked over at Marlene, "You still here?"