A Letter From My Heartbysimply_cyn©
I am hoping that with this letter I might be able to voice the things that I so desperately want to say but can't but into words. To be at this moment in time with you after the years that we have known each other has me lost in the mirage of emotions that I am experiencing. It all seem so new, yet so familiar, like we have either been here before or are meant to be doing this, right now, at this moment in our lives.
It's like all the sudden I started seeing you in a new light and it hit me so suddenly I haven't had a moment to stop and breathe. Instead, I've been bombarded by all these new emotions towards you and I don't know how to handle it. My first impulse is to shout out that I love you ... that I've always loved you. But in the same breath, I'm so scared of voicing it in fear that I will wake up from this self-induced dream where you have taken me. That one moment, where we were thrown together in a situation that was awkward at first; do you remember it? That silly poem that I wrote that you asked me about? You wanted to know who it was about ...
Little did I know that one question would send us into one another's arms but it did and I have to stop and say thank you while I am still thinking clearly. You seem so sure of yourself and where I fit into your life but I feel so ... I don't know how to explain it. It's like I'm scared silly of losing you even though you've been a part of my life over the past few years. I've never been afraid of losing you before and now ... now I can't stop thinking that I could lose you. I think it's because I so desperately want you to feel the same way about me that I feel about you. And I'm too scared to ask. I don't know why ... I've never been nervous around you and this is a whole new feeling for me. I feel so stupid for tip-toeing around you after all the times we have shared before but I don't know how to stop it.
In the same breath I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone else in my life. It's like I can't get close enough to you. A part of me wants to climb inside of you and just feel you breathe. I can't resist your smile ... your voice ... the way your hair falls into your face when you are concentrating on something and I have to fight back the urge to just slip my fingers into it and lick your lips. Every time I think about loving you, I want to lay you down and show you with all that I am what it is that you mean to me. Maybe I can express the depth of my feelings through a caress, a kiss, a touch. Maybe you will see in my eyes the words that I find hard to speak.
You constantly ask what I'm thinking, as if you know there are tons of things going through my head and I struggle to put them into words for you. If you could just, for a moment, be inside of me to feel what it is that ripples through me when I'm just in your presence, maybe, then, you would understand. At times I think that you are, and have been, the love of my life ... that piece of me that has been missing over the years because we fit so well together. At times I think this is a beautiful gift that has sudden been presented to me after a spell of broken promises and nasty cuts to my fragile heart. But like all gifts, they can be broken or fade away into the distances of one's memory and I want to be a burning candle in your window, a beacon that draws you back to comfort and love on a daily basis.
I can sit for hours on end, listening to your laughter and the sound of your voice, and just be content, knowing that I am near you. And then when you reach over to just gently touch my cheek or press a kiss to my lips, I am regenerated for another round of endless hours lost in your presence. The times that you draw me into your arms and we spend timeless moments lost in the passions that ignite between us bind me to you even more than I thought possible. It's as if, suddenly, in one changing moment between us, my best friend became the love I have searched for.
You complete me. That's the only real words I have to express what it is that you mean to me. You are the best part of me, the strongest part of me ... you are the rock of my foundation and I feel like I can do anything with you looking on. My greatest desire is that, in turn, I can do these things for you.
I love you.