A Snapshot of Jack's Life Ch. 04byYourstohave©
"Come on, come with me. I promise it won't take long. You know the Goodwill drop off is right next door. I'll run in and drop the clothes off and then we'll do lunch. We'll have Chinese, it's your favorite!"
She'd been trying to convince Annie, her best friend at work, to go to lunch with her. She and Annie had been hired at the law firm within weeks of each other. They developed a bond at work that only two new, scared employees could establish.
Annie replied, "You know I'm on a budget. Besides, you never eat your food. I don't know why you bother going to lunch. I just end up looking like a fat cow that eats all her food when I go to lunch with you."
"I swear I'll eat everything on my plate. Cross my heart....." she placed her right hand on her heart and held up her left hand as if she was getting sworn in, "Come on, you'll feel bad if you stop me from taking my donation to those poor little orphans."
Annie blew her bangs out of her eyes and sighed.
"Last time I checked, those poor little orphans don't really need a Michael Kors wrap skirt, or a Lauren summer frock."
"All right, all right, I'll admit the poor orphans don't give a shit about my clothes. But a fat lady somewhere in Orange County will definitely love me. You know I hate giving my clothes away but they just don't fit me anymore."
She sat precariously on the edge of Annie's desk, her legs dangling. She looked down at her shoes. She was wearing her new jet black, four inch Jimmy Choo heels. Her left shoe was barely hanging on her foot by the tip of her French manicured toe.
"Talk about being on a budget.....you try buying a whole new wardrobe every 3 months."
She got up and picked up her shoe, which had finally fallen off and landed underneath Annie's desk.
Annie rolled her eyes and mimed as if she was playing a violin.
"Oh please! You expect me to feel sorry for you? I wish I had your problem."
"No you don't Annie. You're not going to sit here and tell me you wish you had started out weighing as much as a killer whale and now don't. You're not going to tell me that you're glad you have to buy a new wardrobe every 3 months because you were such a fat ass to begin with and had so much weight to lose that you're dropping sizes quicker than you can blink. You're not going to tell me......"
"Oh shut up!! Quit being dramatic. You never weighed as much as a killer whale. You may have weighed as much as an elephant seal perhaps, but definitely not a killer whale." Annie snickered.
She sighed and looked at her friend and said, "Ha, ha, very funny Annie."
Annie looked closely at her and said, "You know I love ya. Besides you look fabulous. Hey, how much weight have you lost??"
"84 pounds, 5.6 ounces. But who's keeping track?" she responded.
"WOW! Good job, that's got to feel good. I knew you'd lost a lot of weight but I never realized it was that much."
Annie was glad her friend had lost weight. They were both about the same weight now, both "fluffy" as Annie loved to call it, but her friend had been much heavier than she ever had been. Unfortunately for Annie, she was also much shorter than her friend, so she now looked like the "fat" girl, not her friend.
Annie hadn't always been heavy. She became heavy a few years back when she became ill. The therapy for her illness included steroids and various other medications. The weight kept piling on and piling on. Annie's doctors told her she would have to live with the weight gain if she wanted to get better. They offered to take her off the medication, if she chose, but they couldn't guarantee she wouldn't take a turn for the worse. She chose to feel better.
Annie often regretted her decision. She thought she could handle the weight, but being fat was a hard thing to accept. Annie had been the quintessential wet dream in high school. She had been captain of the pep squad, a raven haired beauty with a petite frame, tiny waist, toned legs and F cup breasts topping off the whole package. Her creamy porcelain skin, full luscious lips, and big doe eyes drove many a boy to his room at night with a raging erection that would only subside after a long furious jack-off session.
Annie had confessed to her friend that she was jealous of the weight loss. It took everything she had to finally admit it to her friend. She remembered a conversation they'd had when her friend first started to lose weight.
"Why now? Why do you care about your weight now?"
Her friend's answer had surprised her.
"Well, I'm tired of being the fat ugly girl."
"Come on, you know that's not true. You have a beautiful face. You're not ugly." Annie responded.
"I know, I know I have a pretty face. That's exactly the problem. I'm tired of hearing that. It's as if people are insulted by my pretty face because I have a fat ass. As if being fat should exclude you from anything good. Quite frankly, I'm tired of people looking at me, but not really seeing me, especially men. It does something to me when I get the "look", as I call it."
"What do you mean? What look?"
"I don't know how to explain it....I guess it happens when men check out the women in the room. Men slowly scan the room, moving from face to face. If the face is interesting they stop and check out the body that goes with it. If the body is decent they move in quicker than you can blink. When it comes to me, men usually hesitate for a brief second on my face, as if they are confused by the fact I may be pretty but am fat. You can see them thinking – "Hhmm, interesting face, is fat, move on" and before you know it, they've glanced away because I'm not worth spending one more second on. Does that make sense? Not even a second. They don't care if I'm a good person inside, if I'm kind, smart or funny. All the things that people constantly tell me that I am. Well, men don't care about that. They want tits and ass, bottom line."
Her friend continued, "Let me tell you why I want to lose weight. I want men to look at me with naked lust in their eyes, with I want to fuck you written all over their faces. I don't want to be the fat girl anymore. If they want tits and ass, well then I'm going to give it to them."
Annie replied, "Quite frankly, I'm sorry you feel that way. You don't really know what you're saying. I can only say be careful what you wish for."
"What's that supposed to mean?" her friend replied.
Annie responded, "Look, don't you realize that all this attention you say you want will only cause trouble for you? I used to get the looks from men that you describe. It's not nice, it's not a nice at all. You don't get taken serious because al you are is a good piece of ass. Don't get upset when I say this but, uumm..... did you forget you're married? Why do you care if men look at you or not? Your husband loves you, doesn't he? And I assume you love your husband. What if you get tempted? What if one day one of those looks makes you think twice about the vows you made to your husband. I don't think you've thought this through. Why are you playing with fire? "
"Oh Annie...Am I supposed to stay fat? Is that what you're saying? I should keep my protective fat shell on? I knew you wouldn't understand. You haven't been a fat ass your entire life like I have. It does something to you....."
Annie said, "Now wait a minute...I'm not saying you need to stay fat. I'm just saying you're doing this for the wrong reason. You should be losing weight for your health, for your own happiness and self esteem. What I'm trying to make you understand is that your self worth doesn't come from others. It's something you give yourself. If you're looking to find it in someone else's I want to fuck you eyes you're never going to be happy. Ever."
"Look Annie, I'm sorry you don't understand me. But I'm not going to stay fat to make you or anyone else happy."
Their conversation started to get heated so they dropped the subject.
Annie was glad she had worked her way through the whole "I'm so infatuated with myself stage" in high school. That's when it's supposed to happen. Her friend, on the other hand, was barely entering that stage, in her mid-thirties nonetheless.
It seemed to Annie as if her friend spent a tremendous amount of time on her looks now. Her friend had always dressed nice, even when she was very heavy. She would mostly wear oxford shirts, jackets, slacks and loafers. As she had a beautiful face she had always taken great care with her makeup. Her friend had always worn her dark brown curly hair in the same hairstyle since she met her.
Now when Annie looked at her friend, she hardly recognized her. She wasn't just referring to just the actual poundage her friend had lost. Her friend now wore her hair straight, and had changed the color to a light golden brown. She would wear dresses, skirts, tight clothes, and high heels. The transformation had been stunning, and worrisome. Vanity is not becoming in anyone.
Annie and her friend frequented a local deli near work. One of the workers at the deli had the hots for Annie. He would always tell Annie how good she looked and how happy he was she had come in. She and her friend had recently gone into the deli and the worker now plainly ignored Annie and asked her about her friend! She never told her friend for fear it would cause her head to get even bigger.
"Annie? ANNIE?? Hey are you listening to me?"
She was brought out of her reverie.
She looked at her friend and answered, "All right, all right, you win. I'll go to lunch with you. God I hate not having a backbone. You know, when they repossess my car I'll make sure to send you the bill."
Her friend laughed and told Annie, "Great! Then I'll drive. I'll come back and get you at noon. Love ya sweetie!"
She blew her an air kiss, waved goodbye and walked away towards her own office.
Annie sighed and watched her friend walk out of her office. Her friend would never be considered skinny, but now she was voluptuous and curvy, not fat. Now that the layers of fat had been removed, her friend's gorgeous face got quite a few looks from men. She knew her friend was heading for a world of hurt and trouble. She hoped her friend would learn her lesson before she passed the point of no return.
What scared Annie the most about her friend was a look she had recently seen on her face. Her friend had finally realized men were checking her out, were looking at her. The look she saw on her friends face was absolutely frightening. It was a look of entitlement, vanity, hate, and like a damn Cheshire cat who drank the cream, all rolled into one. It made her not like her friend very much. She didn't recognize who her friend had become. What Annie was referring to had nothing to do with looks.
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