- Erotic Poetry
- Admission
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Click hereThe pink readiness of your mouth,
and the clever way of your words,
seduces my inhibitions.
You unravel me with your mind,
the grey mirrors of your eyes,
challenging me into submission.
Your logic circles above me,
and you prey on my trepidation,
picking ravenously at my being.
I lie as Prometheus bound,
stretched out toward the sun,
that dances across your wings.
The pale fronds of your hair,
fall softly and tempt my fingers,
that curl toward release.
You taste of a peaches and cream sunset,
tangy, warm and wonderful,
and sometimes blinding.
Your cheekbone hotly glows,
against the tender valley,
which cradles my heartache.
The elegant grace you possess,
makes me humble in awe,
and I am resigned.
- COMMENTS
Angelineabout 16 years agothat give it a rich, textured feel. I think it needs some shaping and to lose some of the "telling" language to keep the focus on those sensual images. You might consider breaking it into strophes (non-rhyming stanzas) to slow down the pace of the read. What you want is a sort of langorous pace with some pauses to match the sensual nature of the poem, but now the signal to the reader is to race through the poem. I believe that breaking it up and slowing it down will make for a stronger poem. Just my 2 cents. Thank you for the read. :-)
