Advice For Most Occasions!

If you're in a bar, and a drunk,
Starts to cut up, and act real mean.
The best way you can sober him,
Is choke him til he turns green!

If your man gives you a slap,
Cause he's ornry, and feelin' mean.
Knock him down with a frying pan,
Then choke him til he turns green!

When you're confessin' your sins,
And that Priest is treatin' you mean.
Reach through that screen, and grab his neck,
And choke him til he turns green!

When your Mother-In-Law comes,
And aggrivates you, actin' mean.
Give her a kick in her hind-end,
Then choke her til she turns green!

If a traffic cop stops you,
And writes a ticket, cause he's mean.
Rip that ticket into pieces,
Then choke him til he turns green!

If you're shopping in a store,
And the clerk acts nasty, and mean.
Throw the merchandise in his face,
And choke him til he turns green!

If someone car-jacks your car,
And the villain is actin' mean.
Disarm him, when you get a chance,
Then choke him til he turns green!

If you're faced with a lawyer,
Who's mad at you, and actin' mean.
Distract the "critter", with soft words,
Then choke him til he turns green!

If your wife's, on a rampage,
Because she's feelin' cross, and mean.
Give her a swat, on her bottom,
And love her, until she screams!

I had to make this one end just right,
If I want to sleep with Mama tonight!!