tagHumor & SatireAndre and I

Andre and I


"Sara, would you take me and Cat home?" Dane asked in his booming voice as he yawned. The movie we had seen earlier ("Lord of War") had been wonderful but emotionally taxing. Although he's six foot seven and 250 lbs. Dane is as helpless as a kitten when he's tired and Cat was long gone, slumped against Andre on his couch.

Taking the last bite of my miniature Almond Joy, I nodded. "Of course. All you had to do was ask."

Seeing Cat and Dane falling asleep for the last few hours while watching "Event Horizon" at Andre's apartment, I had known they would either be out for good there or ask me to bring them back to their dorms at like two in the morning. I hate it when I'm right.

"I'm not even tired at all," I sighed. Looking at Andre, I asked if it would be okay with him if I came back afterward.

"Sure," he shrugged. So they gathered their things and I grabbed my keys and we headed for the door. "You mind if I come, too?"

"Course not," I said as I flipped my seat up for them to climb in the back of my Escort. Dane sat up front because, as we had found out on our many group outings, it is quite impossible for him to fit anywhere else in my tiny car. Shifting into first, we were off, first to Cat's dorm and then to Dane's, my crazy mixed CD's going in the background the whole time.

"So," I started with a pause, "What's going on with you and Cat?" I shot a sideways grin in his direction as he turned.

"Absolutely nothing. I really don't want a girlfriend right now, you know? I mean, I just got out of a really long relationship and Cat seems like the kind of girl who would get really clingy really fast."

"Yeah," I agreed. The conversation turned to other things as we got closer to his apartment. Walking in, I sat down and immediately realized I was starving. Also realizing it was nearly three in the morning, I asked Andre if he wanted to go to Taco Bell. So away we went: Back to the car and on to the Bell!

Laughing at all the crazy stoners there at three in the morning blasting their music as they ordered for all five munchy-driven people in the car, we realized that they were probably laughing at the real Michael Jackson version of "Smooth Criminal" I was playing. Either that or they were just high...

The line was so long that it must have taken twenty minutes to get my two simple orders of cinnamon twists but we had so much fun waiting in the line of cars, yelling a few "War Eagle's" at random people and going through my entire insane music collection. We finally got back to his place and finished watching "Friday," which I found to be very amusing even though we're both white. We fought over the last cinnamon twist (of course I won) and then started battling with empty soda bottles.

The tickling war didn't begin until we put in "Shrek 2." Well, I shouldn't really call it a tickling war since Andre's not ticklish. Kind of unfair, don't you think? To make a long story short, the tickling turned into wrestling, me at full strength and Andre laughingly avoiding my attacks.

My sweater got completely stretched out so I asked Andre if he had a T-shirt I could wear. He, of course, brought back an enormous Mickey Mouse shirt whose sleeves hung past my elbows. I laughed and shoved him a little but still went to go put it on, it's massive shape falling loosely over my small frame. The game went on as the movie blared on unnoticed in the background.

I got pinned many more times than he did but still found it in my opinion that I had won. He disagreed so we kept at it until he was completely exhausted. I, of course, was still going strong so after a little persuasion on my part he finally declared me the victor. I collapsed on the couch, hot and tired, my long dark hair even wilder than it had been before, but still full of energy.

It was so late at this point that it was early. The windows were getting brighter and the clock showed 6:33 as I sat breathing heavily on the couch.

Then, not to my complete surprise, Andre came and sat next to me, leaning over as we lay down on the couch. As uncomfortable as the couch was, it felt nice as he ran his hand along my back. After a while though, the couch was getting so uncomfortable that he asked if I would mind if we went up to his room.

"If you want to," I said softly. I followed him up the stairs and into his room. I lay down and after shedding his shirt he snuggled up behind me, his arm falling across my waist to encircle my wrist. Immediately I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. You see, spooning (with clothes on) turns me on like nothing else except being held down, which I had my fair share of while we were wrestling. So as I lay there trying unsuccessfully to calm myself, all I could think about is what we could be doing.

Well, a few strategic stretches, flexing my back and bringing my knee up closer to my chest, some seemingly-innocent sounding sighing mixed in with my breathing, and I could tell he was as turned on as I was. God I'm good.

Before long, the slow grinding turned into kissing and, not long after, full-on dry humping (as much as I hate that term) and my sighing got a lot louder. He rolled on top of me, turning me onto my stomach as I arched my back, countering his thrusts with my own. After trying out a few of each of our favorite positions, I slid over to his side as my hand fell on his shorts. "Can I ask you a question?" I said as I began to stroke him.


"How big are you?" I whispered. He gave me a smile and offered an exciting number. Hearing this I smiled back and kissed him. Leaning up, I asked if he had any mouthwash, to which he replied he did. Smiling again, I got up and repositioned myself between his legs, bringing his shorts down with me.

I took him into my mouth as he groaned, running my nails down his flat stomach and letting my hair fall around his hips. (Now let me tell you, I am very good at giving head. I mean very. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I get around or anything; I can count the guys I've been with on one hand, but they've all told me how incredible I am at it. So anyways, back to the story.) His fingers entwined in my hair as he neared his climax, coming in my mouth as I slowed my pace, waiting until he relaxed to stop completely.

He pulled me up to kiss me. "Wait!" I cried, "Mouthwash!" He laughed as I jumped up and darted into the bathroom. It's not that I mind the taste; I just don't think he would appreciate a mouthful of the stuff. After gargling to satisfaction I returned, climbing on top of him and kissing him roughly. I laughed when I saw the red marks I had left on his stomach.

"My turn," he growled as he pushed me off of him and onto my back. I took off my pants and threw then across the room, eliciting a laugh from Andre. He lay on his side beside me and stroked his way down past my stomach. I gasped as he touched me. It had been at least two months since a guy had put his hand on me in that way (not that I don't do it all the time) and it felt damn good. I moaned as he immediately found my clit and got a steady rhythm going.

I don't know how he did it but I came at least three times. I just reached my high and stayed there. It was amazing and I told him so several times, my hand running through his blonde hair as I arched and moaned against him. The last guy to get multiples out of me had been junior year of high school. I can't even do that to myself. Finally I couldn't take any more and had to beg him to stop until his hand finally slowed.

It must have taken me a good ten minutes to get my breathing back to normal. I curled into his arms and we fell asleep, at least for a little while. In the same position as before, it didn't take too long to get excited.

This time we went just a little bit further, shedding more clothes and holding each other down. In reality, he held me down and unconvincingly tried to make me believe I was holding him down. He agreed to let me use handcuffs on him whenever I bring them down to Auburn and I agreed to show him my extensive lingerie collection and my Halloween costume, which just so happens to be a very, very sexy French maid. He explained how he had predicted this would happen with me and we talked about how fun the "no strings attached" relationship is going to be and what we are going to do next time.

"When is next time?" I asked between kisses.

"Whenever we get really horny," he said, laughing.

I considered his answer for a minute then said, "So in about two hours?"

Four orgasms later, sleep finally took over and he wrapped his arms around me as we fell asleep. The time was 2:30 pm.

We woke up again at around four and I kissed my way down his chest and settled between his legs once again. This time, however, he prompted me to use his KY, which I found to be very fun. My hand encircled him as he exhaled sharply. I felt his body tense as he got closer. Just as he reached the edge, I took him into my mouth, both avoiding a mess and heightening his pleasure at the same time. I told you I was good. Again, I waited until he was completely relaxed to slowly slide my mouth off.


"Did you like that?" I teased as I walked to the bathroom, "Maybe just a little?" He chuckled and after I had gargled successfully pulled me up against his hard body. We cuddled for a while until avoiding phone calls finally caught up to me.

One of my Architecture classmates called me in to help with a group project and I couldn't say no. We found clothes pretty easily since there was plenty of sunlight (it being 5:30 in the afternoon and all) and he even walked me to my car, kissing me goodbye as I climbed inside.

As I drove off, I couldn't help thinking how much fun I am going to have before all this is over.

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