tagNon-Erotic PoetryBallad of Captain Hook

Ballad of Captain Hook


Who thinks of villain, Captain Hook
as motherless young man?
Or as unwilling scholar, enrolled
As an Eton Oppidan?

His favorite, Shakespeare, turned in his grave
as stories closed “the end.”
Jolly Rodger, poison spider
were his only friends.

Sent to sea by slave-trading Pa, he
killed the captain, then Crook,
murdered the quartermaster with
his first metal hook.

Bartholomew Quigley Smeethington
(generally called “smee”)
Hook's boatswain kept ladies on the clock
but did his jig for free

When Crook arrived in Neverland
he met young Peter Pan
who promptly scoffed his grown up ways
by slashing off his hand.

Eaten (with watch) by a crocodile
(ff you prefer a “crock”)
Who savored the taste of Captain Hook
and sang a "Tick and Tock"

Black candle curls, a feather hat,
a rather eloquent man.
His main mistake growing up and then
returning to a child’s land

Did Crook or Smee even have a chance?
They too were motherless boys
who longed to be kissed goodnight,
and played with metal toys.

To despise or pity Captain Hook?
Depends who tells your tale.
But it’s too late to save the child
And as a man, you fail.


Another one of my horrible Survivor Poems:
Form T: Ballad
Trigger 10: Crocodile


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