tagHumor & SatireBedroom Conversations Ch. 02

Bedroom Conversations Ch. 02


My name is Tom Rogers and I am 46 years old. My wife Peggy and I have been married since my third year of medical school. I am presently a practicing gynecologist at the Collins Clinic in Springfield Missouri. My marriage to Peggy is a good one. She is a wonderful wife, with only one fault – an obsessive desire to gossip with several other wives about the personal lives of the members of the club.

Each evening in bed she regales me with stories from her luncheon group, her bridge group and the gals she sits around the pool with. All they talk about is sex. I suppose I should thank my lucky stars that she's just talking about it – not doing it!

Peggy has a good life, but she earned it by working as a nurse to get me through medical school and residency, while raising two great kids at the same time. She worked her ass off! Now that the kids are in college, she's entitled to a little relaxation.

Even so, she engages in a lot of ugly gossip. The ringleader, if there is one, is Lois, who is married to the head of pharmacy at the Clinic. She has somehow figured out a way to find out every medicine everyone is taking – from daughters on birth control pills to husbands on erectile dysfunction tablets.


We lay there quietly. Both of us had had a hard day. The bedroom was pitch dark as usual and I was ready for sleep, but I knew we would have our usual talk first.

"Any news?" Peggy asked.

"I got a call from Rich Ames today. He wanted to thank me for the letter of recommendation I sent to his new clinic director. He's applying for academic privileges at the school. I think he'll do well in Kirksville. His divorce will be final in a few days."

"At least he dumped that slut wife," Peggy said.

Rich had divorced Carolyn for having sex parties with graduate students ten years younger than she was and Peggy hated her guts.

I didn't want to tell her but I knew she'd find out sooner or later. "Carolyn got a job."

"Who the hell would hire the bitch? The only skill she has is fucking!"

Peggy was angry. She got angry every time she thought about Carolyn Ames and the way she had cheated on her husband Rich.

"Well, the clinic hired her as a receptionist in the main lobby," I said and waited for the explosion.

Peggy sat up in bed and shouted. "The Collins Clinic hired that whore? I do not believe this! Who made that decision?"

The room was pitch-dark but I knew exactly what Peggy's face looked like – red with rage.

"Larry Morris hired her," I said and awaited another explosion.

"Larry Morris is not even a doctor!" Peggy shouted.

"That's true, but he's the head of clinic administration and that's who all the non-medical people work for and he's the one that does the hiring."

Peggy laid her head back on the pillow and sighed, "Does he know she's a whore?"

"He knows Rich divorced her for adultery."

"There's only one reason he would hire her," Peggy said with determination. "He wants to fuck her! And Larry Morris is married and he belongs to the club and his wife, Marie, plays bridge in my group and Larry is almost sixty and Marie is fifty-five and Larry wants to fuck a thirty-five year old slut."

"Honey, please," I said softly, "you're jumping to conclusions. Maybe he ..."

"Wait till I tell my luncheon group about this tomorrow," Peggy said menacingly.

Like alerting the Gestapo I thought. Poor Larry and Carolyn are gonna be watched by a bunch of sharp eyed hussies – like field mice are watched by hawks.

"Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


Peggy had a determined look on her face when I turned out the light on the bedside table.

"I knew it," Peggy said.

"Knew what?" I asked.

"The gals in my luncheon group all agree that Larry Morris wants to fuck Carolyn Ames," she said with determination.

"That makes it true?" I asked.

"I might make a mistake, but all six of us cannot be wrong! He wants to fuck the bitch."

I almost said something about the girls, but I bit my tongue.

"We've got to figure out what to do about Marie," Peggy continued. "She's gonna find out about this sooner or later."

"Let me get this straight. Six old broads ... "

"We are NOT old broads!" Peggy interrupted.

"Excuse me. Six nice ladies sat around a luncheon table and talked about what to do about a woman who is married to a guy you THINK wants to screw the clinic receptionist?"

"That's exactly what we talked about, and we don't THINK, we KNOW. We decided to do two things. First we are gonna work with Larry's secretary to keep an eye on Larry – Margie knows Donna real well. And second we are gonna alert Marie that there may be a problem down the road."

"At least it will give the 'girls' something to do," I said with a sigh. "You girls sure enjoy that kind of work."

"It's necessary work," Peggy said. "Someone has to do it. Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


Peggy and I lay quietly in the darkness. Finally she spoke.

"We were wrong!" She said. "He's not fucking her. She's sucking him off."

"Can you break that down for me," I asked in a pleading voice.

"Carolyn Ames is sucking off Larry Morris several times a week in his office. We got his secretary to keep watch. Donna pretended to go to lunch as usual but hid in an adjoining room. Carolyn Ames showed up and spent a half hour in Larry's office."

"Donna cracked the door just a tad and she saw Larry sitting in that big leather chair, leaning back with his eyes closed, and his pants at half-mast. Carolyn Ames was on her knees sucking his dick. And she was doing him deep throat!"

"I'll be damned," I said. "It's a quid pro quo."

"Yeah," said Peggy. "The quid is a NEW job and the quo is a BLOW job."

"So now what?" I asked.

"The bridge table is joining the luncheon group tomorrow and we're gonna discuss it with Marie and find out what she wants to do."

"Let me see if I understand this," I said. "A dozen women are gonna sit around a table over lunch and discuss what to do about one of the wives whose husband is getting blowjobs from the clinic receptionist. And this is gonna stay reasonably private?"

"No! You always exaggerate!" Peggy said angrily. "Not a dozen. There'll only be nine of us. And it will stay private ... well ... probably ... mostly private."

"I can't wait to hear what happens," I said.

"Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


I had waited over a week with some enthusiasm to hear what "the girls" had decided to do about Larry Morris getting regular blowjobs from Carolyn Ames. Peggy didn't disappoint me, even though I had to wait a while to find out.

"We're not gonna do anything," Peggy said. "Just let Larry keep getting sucked off."

"And why did you decide on that?" I asked.

"Marie says it has greatly improved his attitude. He's not moody. He's more cheerful. And he still fucks Marie every Saturday night and he's more enthusiastic about that. Blowjobs seem to be doing him good and Marie hates to give blowjobs."

"Why am I having trouble understanding this?" I asked.

"Because you don't understand women," Peggy said.

"Darling I have been told by dozens of women that my understanding of women is exceptional," I said.

"Okay, then, you don't understand SOME women," Peggy said. "Look at it from Marie's point of view. Hubby is in a much better mood. He is a much better fuck. She doesn't have to suck him off – a slutty bitch is doing that for her – doing him deep throat which Marie can't do. And she can end it any time she wants by just walking in on him with his pants at half-mast and his dick in another woman's mouth."

I thought about it. Well it did make some sense I suppose. Then I said the wrong thing. I thought I was joking but Peggy took it seriously.

"It improved his attitude? Darling, do you think my attitude might improve if ..."

I got no further with that thought!

"Don't even think about going there you horny bastard! I had enough of that with that Detweiler bitch!"

At least she had the decency to laugh and start tickling my balls. Maybe she got my message. When I felt her lips on my cock I realized that she had gotten the message.


Finally I had some good news for Peggy.

"Rich's replacement was interviewed today. His name's Rusty Embly. I'm on the committee and so is Pamela Grassley."

"I know – I had lunch with Pam and I'm already getting phone calls"

"Phone calls?"

"Yeah. Gail says the unmarried nurses are all on red alert – he's single and he's a doll!"

"I didn't notice that." I said.

"I'm glad you didn't," Peggy said sarcastically. "I don't want that kind of male flesh to attract your attention."

"Pam was on the committee that interviewed him. She didn't seem too impressed with him," I said.

"Good!" Peggy said firmly.

"Good? Not impressed? Why is that good?" I asked, puzzled that Pam was not impressed.

"It's good because Pam told me today at lunch that just looking at him made her pants get wet and she was trying to look kinda neutral so she wouldn't get that star-struck twinkle in her eye that tells a guy a girl wants to fuck."

"She likes him?" I asked.

"She wants to fuck him. But more than that she wants to catch him. He's the first potential husband she's seen since she came to Springfield," Peggy said. "She wants to tie him up and check him out to see if he is for real."

"Tie him up? Check him out. Let me get this straight. You and Pam talked about ways to entrap Rusty Embly?"

I was shocked. Well maybe not shocked but at least surprised.

"Not exactly entrap, but ... well ... you're getting the general idea."

"Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


I turned out the light and we lay in the darkness for only a moment before Peggy spoke.

"We have a problem," said Peggy.

"A problem? What problem?" I said.

"He's fucking that bitch!"

"Who's fucking which bitch?" I said.

"Rusty Embly is fucking Carolyn Ames," Peggy said with certainty. "I knew the bitch would try to get him in the sack but I didn't expect it this soon. She drove him around Springfield on Monday and Tuesday and then she fucked him Tuesday night at his hotel and Wednesday night at her apartment."

"How the hell do you know that? What the hell do you girls do, hire private detectives?"

"Her car was not at her apartment parking lot Tuesday night and his rental car was in her parking lot Wednesday night. She's a whore so there's only one conclusion."

"How the hell can you know about everybody's automobiles?" I asked in amazement.

"There's six or eight of us. We just drive around and check things out and make a few phone calls and take a few notes and then meet at the club and exchange information."

The Springfield SS – the Gestapo! I thought.

"So now what?" I asked.

"Pam and I had a long talk."

"Is she giving up on Rusty?" I asked.

"Giving up?" Peggy responded. "Of course not. No more than I gave up on you when you started fucking Gladys Detweiler and the bitch was sucking your cock. Guys fuck sluts – gals have to learn to deal with that. In fact I told Pam all about Gladys Detweiler."

"You what?" I shouted.

"I told her about that Detweiler bitch. I wanted her to understand that even the nicest guy will fuck a whore if that whore is good at something special – like the Detweiler bitch was good at sucking cock. So Pam and I had a long talk about cock sucking."

"I'm having trouble believing this," I said. "You had a long talk about cock sucking while you had lunch in the dining room?"

"We did. Do you remember when we were dating and I started sucking your cock?" Peggy said.

"Yes I remember that."

"Do you remember that you didn't ask me to suck you off? It was my idea?"

"Ah ... not exactly," I said trying to remember our experiences together twenty-four years ago.

"Well I started after my room mate Sally told me about her brother's experience fucking Gladys Detweiler. I had never sucked a cock before and Sally had to explain some things to me. It wasn't easy and it wasn't fun, but it was necessary. If that Detweiler bitch was blowing you I had to do it too."

"Well, I ... "

I did not know quite what to say.

"Fortunately," Peggy continued, "Pam has experience sucking cocks. She doesn't particularly like to suck cocks, but she says she's pretty good at it if they're not the big ones – monster cocks she calls the big ones. The problem is we don't know how big Rusty Embly's cock is."

"Well," I said in a serious tone of voice, "I don't think that was listed on his Curriculum Vitae."

"Don't be sarcastic," Peggy said. "This is important. But Pam is still better off than I was because I never had the opportunity to suck any cocks before I met you."

"The opportunity?" I asked.

"You know what I mean!" Peggy said. "Anyway we're getting ahead of ourselves. We have to set up a date between Pam and Rusty. The best way to do that is for us to have a party at the club for the two new members of the clinic, Rusty and Pam, and invite a few clinic members and their wives. We'll seat everybody as couples so Rusty and Pam will sit together quite naturally and they'll talk and maybe set up a date."

"Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


Peggy's voice was harsh and critical in the pitch-dark bedroom.

"It's settled down to a routine now. Three times a week," Peggy said.

"Three time a week?" I asked.

"The bitch is sucking off Larry three times a week during her lunch hour. She's on a liquid diet for lunch – a thick, white, creamy, liquid diet," Peggy said.

"Look, Peggy, I don't care what Carolyn or Larry are doing. That's their business. You said that Marie doesn't care. Why should WE?"

"Because Carolyn's a whore and she's probably gonna start fucking Rusty again when he starts work at the clinic. When is that anyway?" Peggy asked.

"Almost two weeks from now. Have you set up the dinner party for Rusty and Pam?"

"I'll do that next week," Peggy said. "Look Tom, I really want to get Rusty and Pam together. She's a nice girl. She needs a nice guy."

"You're having lunch with her a lot," I said.

"Yeah," said Peggy. "Her practice is growing well. She thinks you are a very wonderful man – she keeps telling me how lucky I am. She still can't figure how I got you when all the other gals were after you and that Detweiler bitch was giving you all the pussy you needed."

I laughed. "How DID you get me – I forget."

"At the time I thought it was because I started sucking your cock and pumping my ass real good. But as I got older I figured out the real reason."

"Oh?" I said. "And what was that?"

"Because you're a really nice man," she said sweetly. "Not the kind of man to marry a whore. And you saw me as a really nice girl – the kind you wanted to marry."

"Does that mean you don't have to suck me off any more?" I asked laughing.

"You bastard! I sucked you off just last week!" Peggy said angrily.

"That was THREE weeks ago," I reminded her.

"Okay, three weeks ago, but at least I still pump my ass for you," Peggy said, laughing.

"Actually, Dear, I think you are doing that mainly for yourself!" I said.

"Maybe. Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


I turned out the lights and crawled in bed, wondering what Peggy was going to say about our dinner party. We had just returned from the club where we entertained several couples from the clinic plus Rusty Embly, who had started work earlier this week, and Pam Grassley, who had joined the clinic three months ago. Peggy had carefully arranged the seating so that Pam was seated next to Rusty.

"What did you think?" Peggy asked me.

"I thought the party went well," I said. "Both Pam and Rusty seemed to get along well with the senior clinic doctors we invited."

"I mean what did you think about Pam and Rusty?"

"They seemed to get along well together," I said.

"You heard me invite them to the club tomorrow afternoon, didn't you?" Peggy asked.

"I heard you. Why did you do that?"

"You've seen her tits! In fact you spent most of an afternoon playing with them a couple of months ago," Peggy said with a laugh. "I wanted Rusty to see those tits in a bikini."

"I wasn't playing with her tits," I said, defensively. "We've been all through this whole thing and ..."

Peggy started laughing. "I know baby I know. I'm just kidding. Pam talked about you being the most professional of professionals when you examined her. She keeps telling me how lucky I am to have you. She's hoping Rusty will be like you."

"Anyway," Peggy continued, "I want Rusty to ask Pam out to dinner and maybe develop an interest in her.

"Well, good luck on that," I said. "Good night Dear."

"Good night Dear."


"I had lunch with Pam today."

"How is your campaign to entrap Rusty Embly proceeding?" I said with a chuckle.

"We are not trying to entrap him! Rusty has taken Pam out to dinner several times, always to nice places and the third date he kissed her goodnight," Peggy said.

"That sounds like progress."

"Yeah but it's not easy. Pam is horny as hell. She hasn't been fucked in three months. Taking her time is difficult. And we still don't know how big his dick is."

"His dick?" I asked.

"You don't remember a thing I tell you!" Peggy said angrily. "That Ames bitch is deep throating Larry Morris three times a week. Rusty is going over to her place twice a week to fuck her and that's bad news."

"She's a busy girl."

"SHES A WHORE!" Peggy shouted.

"Are you girls following everybody around?" I asked.

"Don't be ridiculous. We just check out apartment parking lots and Donna keeps watch on Larry."

"Jesus!" I said.

"But there is some good news," Peggy said.

"What's the good news?" I asked.

"First, Rusty never takes Carolyn any place where he might be seen – always to a restaurant outside of town. That means he's only dating her for easy pussy. Second we know how much deep throat the bitch can do."

"I'm afraid to ask how you girls found that out," I said acting shocked.

"Larry has a six inch cock. That's not small, but it's not a monster either," said Peggy.

"Who measured it?" I said laughing.

"Very funny! Ha-ha," said Peggy. "We asked his wife Marie, of course."

"Pam said she can handle six inches, but not much more than that," Peggy said. "But we still don't know what Rusty is carrying between his legs. So now we're trying to decide when she should fuck him."

"Let me get this straight. Your luncheon group is sitting around a table at the club trying to decide when Dr. Pamela Grassley should fuck Dr. Rusty Embly?"

"My luncheon group, and of course my bridge group," Peggy said. "Yes we are talking about when would be best. This is important so don't get sarcastic."

"And Pam is listening to your opinions?"

"She is. This is a small town. Rusty grew up in a small town. Pam doesn't want to come across as ... well, as too easy ... you know. On the other hand she doesn't want him to think she doesn't like him. It's a difficult decision."

"Pam's upset," Peggy continued, "because she can't just screw him casually, like she would at the university. I told her she needs to act like a lady – one he might want to marry."

"What did Pam say to that?" I asked.

"She practically screamed at me. 'How the hell do you get a man interested in you if you act like a lady all the time? How do I get his attention?'"

"Then she asked me how I got your attention."

"What did you tell her?" I asked.

"The truth."

"The truth? What truth?" I asked.

"I said I got your attention by stripping down and fucking you in the back seat of a beat up old Plymouth and learning to suck cock."

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