beneath a blue sky

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55 words
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kokshur
kokshur
25 Followers

ten
long
delicate toes
painted hot pink
silver toe ring
ankle bracelet
of braided cord
long lean legs
rounded hips
naked girl
breasts
smallish
pert
reclining on a sky blue blanket
beneath a blue sky
beneath a willow weeping
blonde hair
against a red pillow
eyes closed
a half smile on
her sleeping lips

kokshur
kokshur
25 Followers
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3 Comments
tazz317tazz317about 11 years ago
AN IDYLLIC SUMMER PICNIC

to a field on the farm. TK U MLJ LV NV

HarryHillHarryHillabout 11 years ago
Like this one Kokshur

I like how the upper and lower shapes meet connecting the description of the girl to the pastoral where she lies

DesejoDesejoabout 11 years ago

I like this. Very visual, and the structure works well. I think the ending could be stronger by bringing the reader back either to the title or to one of the initial lines in the poem, maybe using something as simple as repetition of a word or even by moving one of the sky blue lines to the end. Well done.

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