Beth's Dark Needs Ch. 01bymjar65©
One of the great passions of my sex life is indulging in BDSM. For the last few years I have had a regular submissive -- puppy.
One of the things puppy enjoys, apart from being my submissive, is expanding her circle of friends. Recently she formed a friendship with Beth. The other thing puppy enjoys is being provocative and hinting at sexual acts in public gatherings so as to get reactions from other people. One day recently she went a little too far and 'let slip' to Beth that she enjoys being spanked during sex. Well, that's not nearly close to the truth but it was enough to fire Beth's interest. Somehow the two of them had struck up quite a friendship and Beth obviously felt that she could confide in puppy about all manner of things.
Beth suddenly blurted out, in a low whisper, that she'd long had a dark, private fantasy about rough sex. Her fantasy was that she 'was treated like a slut' and that she was 'punished' for her wickedness. She had never told another living soul about her fantasy until that very moment.
Naturally, puppy couldn't let things rest there. Before long she'd dragged out of Beth that she sometimes imagined being 'forced' by a stranger to do all manner of sexual acts and fantasised that she would be 'whipped' for refusing or being too slow to obey.
Puppy straight away saw an opportunity to impress her new friend and to please me all at the same time. Trying her best not to come on too strong, puppy set about trying to convince Beth that her fantasy was not extreme or too weird. Moreover, she tried to tell Beth how much enjoyment she would have from actually living out the fantasy. She told Beth that she just needed the right person to help it happen. She would say that, wouldn't she? But that's how Beth came to make contact with me.
Puppy told me all about it in her usual excited manner. Then we let a few days pass before she spoke again to Beth, to give her friend time to reconsider. Beth did feel a little foolish at having let her guard slip. She had been shocked at puppy's revelation and at finding someone who would listen to her deep, dark fantasy. Beth tried to get puppy to agree to forget the whole thing. But as far as puppy was concerned there was no way that was going to happen! So we allowed another few days to pass before puppy once more brought up the subject with Beth.
Beth tried everything to dodge what was coming. 'I am a married woman,' she declared. Next she wanted to know 'what about Graeme?' -- her husband that she wanted to keep her secret from. She tried to convince puppy that 'its just a fantasy, something that's never supposed to come true.' Then puppy got serious.
'You know I have a lover. A man I see regularly for sex. Other things too. I have told you that I like it when he spanks me. In fact, I really love to submit to him. You would love it to. He is my Master and when we are together he controls me. He controls me sexually. Sometimes when we're not together as well. He makes me do kinky things and he likes to punish me, to spank me and other things as well. And I like it when he does those things to me.'
Beth was incredulous. 'But how is that possible? How can you enjoy it? And how can a man want to do those things, and enjoy them?'
Bingo! 'Why don't you ask him?'
Beth became gog-eyed. 'I couldn't possibly do that. I told you its just a fantasy.'
And so it was that, a week later, puppy told Beth that she was 'permitted' to email me. That seemed to be the trigger Beth needed. She was intrigued by the concept of 'permission'. Why would there be a need for sch a thing? And why was it necessary for this man she'd never met to give permission for anything involving these two friends? It only heightened Beth's curiosity about the choices puppy had made for herself. And, I found out later, Beth had re-assured herself that she wasn't cheating on her husband by exploring that curiosity. She told herself the whole thing was a bit of fun that would go nowhere.
Her first few emails tried to make light of the whole thing. I played it as straight as I could manage. I encouraged her to ask questions and tried to explain, without giving too much away, how BDSM can sometimes fulfil a deep-seated need inside a person. Finally I wrote back to Beth demanding to know where these fantasies of hers had come from and why she'd resigned herself to experiencing these things only in her imagination.
She explained that before puppy she'd never met anyone who was 'into that kind of thing'. She'd heard about it, read of people who lived that kind of lifestyle. It seemed there was a movie that had somehow started her wondering about being controlled and being punished. But she'd never imagined she'd ever meet one of 'those people'. So I told Beth that the whole thing would be so much easier to discuss if we were face-to-face and that, finally, it was time she met one of 'those people'.
The next day she finally found the courage to speak to me on the phone. We spoke again several more times over the next week. I could hear her nervousness loud and clear. But she hadn't refused my offer to meet and talk. I knew she was still telling herself it was all harmless fun and would come to nothing. But I noticed she hadn't mentioned her husband again since she'd spoken with puppy.
Our phone conversations were brief as we always spoke from our respective offices. But I was able to convince Beth to meet me after work the next week.
Beth is in her late thirties, married with two kids. She is short and chubby, but nicely rounded and curved. She has a really sweet face, like a mother should have, with soft dark curls that she wears short. And she has soft, double-E breasts that she usually manages to arrange so as to show her ample cleavage. There was no point trying to hide tits that big but I sensed that Beth really didn't mind that people stole glances at her.
But that was a very passive kind of fun. Now I, with some help from puppy, was trying to lure her into something much more active. She must have realised it. But that first time we met she was very sweet and very nervous. And once she was sitting opposite me I could see the effort she had to make to stop herself fleeing.
The advantage was all mine. I had done this many times before but it was a first for Beth. And I knew where I wanted to direct things. Beth couldn't even consider that possibility that I was working up to something. Because to do so would have required her to admit, at least to herself, that she was actually more than just curious about her fantasy and about what it meant to be controlled in the way that puppy had described.
We engaged in small talk and then moved into deeper detail -- jobs, life experiences. It wasn't a date, Beth wouldn't think of it like that, but it was an opportunity to learn more and to build some trust. And then Beth decided to tell me that she thought I was 'normal'.
'Well maybe I just seem normal. I am into some kinky things in private situations. But I do try not to make it obvious when I am in public.'
'Yes, but the things you do in private. The things that Alexia has told me ...and you have admitted to them.'
'Puppy and I enjoy those things. We get a lot of pleasure from them. We're not hurting anyone and I have told you that I always make sure that she is safe and having fun.'
'Why do you call her puppy?'
'Because that's her name when she is with me. She is my submissive and when we play I want her to leave behind the other person that she lets the world see.'
'I don't understand what you're saying.'
'No, its hard I know.' And now came the critical moment. 'But once you experience some of these things you'll find it easier.' It was a nudge, maybe a push. I wanted Beth to know that I understood where her mind was at.
Beth did her best to give me another one of those 'shocked' looks of hers. I'd expected that. I just smiled back at her.
'That will never happen,' she said firmly. 'I am married as you know. And besides, I just don't think I could do all those things.'
'All what things?'
'The things you and Alexia do. Those things.'
'You don't have to do those things. You can do the things you want to do. I would not expect you to be like puppy. You are a different person.' Then I threw in what I hoped would be the clincher. 'The important point is that its up to you to decide when your interest and your desire becomes so strong that you know you need to have this experience.'
Beth fell silent and she stayed that way for several minutes. I knew I was getting to her. She did not mention her husband or her marriage again. In her heart, Beth was losing the battle against her thoughts and desires.
Over the next few weeks we talked and emailed some more. It wasn't easy because we both preferred to keep the exploration separate from our home lives. My Annie knew what I was up to but I try not to let my extra-curricular fun impinge on our space as a couple.
And then one day Beth called me at work and told me that she really needed to talk to me. Luckily I was able to close the door to my office and give her my complete attention. I could tell that she was even more nervous than the first time we'd spoken. I imagined the skin across the top of her large tits looking flushed. I wanted those tits -- right then, I wanted them. But I stayed in control. This was important.
Beth was struggling within herself. Now two other people in the world knew a truth about her that she'd first spoken aloud just a few weeks earlier. And those two people had laid a careful trap to draw her into a desire to really taste that fantasy.
'I'm finding this very difficult,' she began. 'I think you know that. I've told you so many really personal things about myself.'
'Well, you know some very dark and intimate things about myself and puppy.'
'Yes. Well, I knew there were people who like to do those things. But I'd never met any of them before.' I could hear the tremor in Beth's voice. She was a little freaked out by the situation she'd gotten herself into. Yet, still, here she was.
'You've met those kind of people,' I went on. 'You just didn't know that they get up to these things in the privacy of their bedroom.'
'OK. But I never thought I would ever talk about this with anyone else.'
'You don't want to talk about it with your husband?'
'Please...I'd rather not talk about my husband.'
'You don't feel comfortable about telling him about this stuff? That's OK, I understand.'
'No I don't. I don't want to talk about him. Really. And telling my husband about this wouldn't help anyway.'
And that was the other part of Beth's struggle. She was contemplating the idea of what she might do with a man other than her husband.
Now I knew I was getting somewhere. Beth was not about to turn away from her fantasy. It was a powerful fantasy and it clearly did not involve her husband. I was practically a stranger to Beth but that was what was making it all seem possible to her.
'How long have you thought about these things? About being punished and made to do things while having sex?'
'I've told you. Years. I knew it went on. I saw that movie and it just got me started. And I've been thinking about it more and more ever since.'
'And this is something very private. This is something that is all about you. I mean that its important for you to experience this with someone who is not your husband.'
There was a long pause. I could hear Beth breathing heavily. There was a sense of shame on her part. I liked that. 'Yes,' she whispered.
"Have you ever done anything that was like being unfaithful to your husband? Has there ever been another man since you got married?'
She hesitated. 'There was one time. A man... a friend of ours. I got drunk one night. It was a few years ago. Graeme wasn't around and he, this friend, he came on to me.'
'It seems like you didn't mind.'
'I was drunk,' she repeated. Another pause. 'I liked it.' I could hear the regret in her voice.
'So how unfaithful were you?'
'We kissed. I kissed him a lot. It was really nice. He got my boobs out and sucked on them.' It was all coming out in a rush now. 'I really enjoyed it when he did that.'
'And that was all?'
'I rubbed his dick through his pants. I really wanted to. Mostly I just let him play with my boobs. But I just got so excited that he got horny with me.'
'Why didn't you want to go further?'
'I wanted to. Kind of. But we were drunk. I wasn't really thinking properly. Graeme was coming back soon. After that I thought a few times about that friend. I even thought about him seducing me. But I didn't have the courage.'
'But you liked the fact that you were a little bit out of control.'
Another pause. 'Yes.'
Beth was even more vulnerable at that point. So I changed the subject. 'Puppy tells me that you want someone to punish you. But you're telling me it needs to be a stranger?'
'I think Alexia -- puppy -- she wants me to be like her.'
'This isn't about puppy. What you and I do together is different from whatever she might experience. Except that she already knows what it feels like to mix pain with pleasure.'
'It doesn't have to be a stranger. Maybe it shouldn't be. I don't want to be frightened.'
'But you want to be punished.'
There was another very long pause. 'I want to be made... I want to be told I am bad and... and to be made to feel like a whore.'
I insisted on getting an answer. 'You want to be punished.'
'I know you only know a little bit of what puppy and I do. But you know it involves sex? That puppy is fucked and that she performs other sexual acts?'
'Yes,' came the soft reply. 'I understand.'
Again, I knew I was on the right path. Beth was not backing down and the mention of sex acts hadn't deterred her. I still needed her to take ownership of her fantasy, to acknowledge her needs aloud.
'You don't have to experience this fantasy with me you know. We can help you find someone else. But if it is with me there will be demands made on you. It will involve you being naked and being penetrated and doing things that I want. You won't just feel like a whore. I will make you act like one.'
'Yes. I know.'
'That's what you want? You want someone to take you, to force you, to hurt you and make you their whore? Is that it?'
Beth was silent again. For a long time. Either she was thinking about how much she wanted to take the next step or she was thinking about calling it all off. Was she thinking of her husband? Did she have the courage to accept her needs?
'Beth -- you have to say it. That is the rule. Puppy -- Alexia -- she has to say it as well.'
'I want...' and again there was a long pause. At last she blurted it all out. 'I want to be taken, to be forced to do things. I don't care how extreme or disgusting they are. I want someone to make me be their whore. And I want to be punished for being so wicked.'
'Who do you want to be that person? Who do you want to control you and force you? Who will punish you and hurt you for being a whore?'
'You,' she forced out softly. 'I want it to be you, please. I don't want to get in the way of anything with Alexia. But I think I can trust you and Alexia said that you are a good teacher.'
And that was where we left things that day. Except that before we hung-up I gave Beth one little test of her resolve - I ordered her to the ladies room to remove her knickers for me. She was to go without them for the rest of the day. She hardly sounded shocked. Instead she just gave me a little murmur of acknowledgement and off she went with a minimum of fuss.
From that point Beth's mind was made up. She never again protested or mentioned that she was married. The only time her husband came into the conversation was when Beth suggested a particular weekend when we could 'do you know'.
Before that, however, I needed to know still more about her dark desires and about her limits. After all, Beth was still a mild-mannered, married woman and mother of two with a career in private industry. I didn't expect her to become a complete pervert all at once.
Of course, many of my questions were also designed to keep her out of her comfort zone, wondering what was really in store for her. She had never been tied up but wanted to experience it and wanted to know that she would be forced to undergo new things. She'd never shaved -- too embarrassing and too much stubble.
Other lovers? Only two, only before she married. Did she suck cock readily and did she swallow? Yes, to both. Anal? She'd never been asked but had guessed it might be required. Sex toys? A small vibrator bought mostly in jest but was hardly ever used. Masturbating while being watched? Not easy.
Group sex? That might be too much. Another woman? She had no idea. Maybe. Spanking, paddles, whips and canes? She trembled at those words but said she would endure any and all of them. Only she didn't want any permanent marks -- of course.
'You will need a safe word.' I told her. 'Ask puppy about it if you're not sure.'
'I will. But I am confused. You call her puppy. Do I still call her Alexia?'
'She is Alexia to you. Unless I decide otherwise.'
'Alright. And me -- do I have a name?'
'You are Beth. You will be Beth until I decide to give you another name. If I decide to give you another name.'
'And should I call you something? What's the proper thing to call the person who is punishing me?'
'Whatever you feel comfortable with. It's the only choice I shall give you.'
'I understand. Thank you.'