- How To
- Blow Job Tips for the Insecure
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click here
First of all, let me establish the most important aspect of giving a blow job -- confidence! A lot of women are self-conscious when it comes to giving head. While I can certainly understand being unsure of yourself, that's something you have to get over quickly in order to improve. Even if you're not the world's greatest, if he's getting a blowjob, he's pretty much already on Cloud 9. I'm not saying there's no wrong way to give head, because there is. I'm just saying that if his dick is in your mouth, for him, things are already off to a great start.
If you still feel unsure, tell your partner that you're nervous. Most guys will be not only understanding but turned on by what they'll see as your "innocence." They will be more than happy to guide you to what they like.
Also important is something that many people overlook -- position. Both partners have to be comfortable, which admittedly can be difficult at times. Also, the right position can give your man the perfect view of your handiwork. Here are a few positions that work for us:
1. He kneels on the bed or sits cross-legged, leaning back so I have plenty of access. I lay propped up on my side on the bed. This puts me in the perfect position in case he wants to finger me.
2. He sits on a low couch or chair and I sit on the floor, leaning into his legs to support myself.
3. He stands up and I kneel on a pillow.
4. He lays down (with his head propped with a pillow) and I lay between his legs with my arms propped up.
A few more somewhat silly things before you begin: Taking frequent breaks is not only a necessity for you (unless you enjoy lockjaw and chapped lips), it can also allow him to last longer and build up a more explosive orgasm. Don't feel bad if you need to stop -- just don't do it abruptly. Second, you may want to have what to me are a few sex "essentials" on hand: water/drink, lip balm, lube, and of course, a hair band to hold hair away from your face.
I like to start off by gently holding his cock in my hand (hard or not) and slowing kissing and licking just the head. The point is to establish to him that you love his cock would love nothing more than to give him a blowjob. At this point, you can also stroke him very, very gently. The lightest touch can feel really good as he's anticipating things getting more intense.
Before he starts to get too hard, I also like to put his entire cock in my mouth. My boyfriend's cock is quite large so this is often the only way he'll feel the whole thing in my mouth! Even if you can "deep throat" your boyfriend, he may still enjoy the sensation of having his cock in your mouth when it's soft.
As he gets harder, I stroke him with a little more pressure and continue licking, but this time going all the way up and down the shaft. The wetter this is, the better, so don't be afraid to slobber. Sounds gross, but it's true. Once he's gotten pretty hard, I move on to literally sucking his cock. Rather than just moving your mouth up and down his shaft, actually sucking on it (very gently at first) feels more intense for him. Another important tip is to try not to let his penis out of your mouth completely. As you pull him back out of your mouth, leave the head of his penis in and continue stroking and sucking until you go back down. Again, don't be too self-conscious. Sucking, slurping noises are a definite possibility, and trust me, most guys eat it up. Along those lines, also don't be afraid to do anything else that comes naturally, such as making noises or touching yourself. It turns guys on to know that sucking on his cock turns you on.
I mentioned earlier that my boyfriend's cock is big. I do deep throat him from time to time, but I have to adjust to it and I can't do much with his cock once it's in there! He generally likes it better when I have less in my mouth but can do more with it. I place my hand over the base of his shaft (the part my mouth isn't covering) and stroke him constantly whatever I'm doing to him with my mouth. So, just remember that you can still give good blowjobs even if you're not a sword swallower.
As I'm sucking him and stroking him, I continue to make things interesting with my tongue and hands. My tongue flicks the head of his penis as I suck it and swirls around his shaft as I suck up and down. With your hands, you can stroke his penis or do whatever he normally enjoys as far as balls and all that good stuff are concerned.
Here are a few more techniques we both like:
1. The "melting ice cream" method -- It's just how it sounds. I think I read it in a women's magazine and it really works! Just pretend like his cock is an ice cream cone and it's a hot summer day. It's melting fast and you've got to eat it all up. Then, just treat his cock exactly the way you would the ice cream. Another option here of course is to actually put whipped cream on his dick and then get every last drop off.
2. The "confused cock" method -- I made up the name, do you like it? We discovered this by accident but it drives him crazy. While sucking on his cock in one direction, I will gently stroke his cock the other direction, then switch. So, for example, I'll suck back gently on his cock while stroking it downwards towards his stomach, then switch, moving my mouth down towards his stomach and pulling my hand up on his cock toward my mouth.
3. "Vacuum" -- You got it - extreme sucking. My boyfriend likes to let me suck as hard as I can while he gently pulls back. Not every guy is this into having his cock pulled so don't do this with no warning.
When your partner is ready to come, hopefully he will let you know (or you'll be able to tell by his body language and sounds.) Girls have different feelings about cum. Some love it, some hate it, and some are indifferent. In my experience, it is worth it to me to swallow. For most guys it is an extreme turn-on; the perfect way to end the blow job. It only lasts a few seconds, so if the taste is unpleasant, you can just tough it out and then discreetly drink some water. However, don't force yourself to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you still want to provide a mega turn-on for your partner but don't want to swallow, there's a slightly less conventional option. As your partner is coming, take him out of your mouth and stroke him quickly (maintaining the same speed of your blowjob) and let him cum over your chest and stomach. Some people find this odd but to others it's a big turn-on. If you do want to do it, you might want to discuss it with your partner first just so he's not confused when the time comes.
Of course, this is what my partner and I enjoy and not everyone else will, but hopefully these ideas will help you break out of a blowjob rut or become more confident about giving head. Above all, get a partner who makes you feel confident and secure, and you'll feel brave enough to try anything that turns them on.
- COMMENTS
Anonymousover 10 years agoPleasing your man with a great blow job is of prime importance if you want to fully satisfy your man and make him like putty in your hands, so pay close attention. When giving a great BJ you have to consider your blow job's speed, rhythm, and pressure levels. These are the most critical elements.
If you go too slowly you're not going to stimulate the penis enough, if you get into an erratic rhythm it's just not as pleasurable for your man, and if you pressure levels are either too high or too low then you're not giving a great BJ. Experiment. That's the key. And practice, if you don't have access to a man then practice on a banana or a carrot, perhaps even a cucumber – but don't get one that's too large!
When you're sucking your partner's penis it's all about simulating vaginal sex. You're basically trying to make your mouth mimic your vagina. So think about the speed, rhythm and pressures that your vagina exerts and how those make your man orgasm. Use these same rhythms and speeds and you'll be a huge success. A faster speed and perfect suction pressure will do the trick every single time, you've just got to find that perfect combination. It's a little different from guy to guy but it's doesn't vary all the much.
Once you've got it down, it's a skill that you can use for a life time, you can bring your "A+" blow job skills to any sexual relationship that you encounter. It's going to make you feel sexier and more confident for sure.
Giving sexy eye contact and making a little noise while your "down there" doing the business is incredibly pleasing to any guy. Let him know that you're turned on and he'll love you for it. Make his penis really wet with your saliva and make some loud sucking noises, also throw in the occasional "mmmm" sound... works every time. Just don't be surprised if your man blows his load quick.
Your man wants a porn like experience, even if he doesn't talk about it. Give it to him and you'll both be very happy campers.
I was lucky enough to understand this in a moment when my relationship started to break into little pieces. Everything begins and ends in bedroom, think about it. If you're willing to go down this road of great blow jobs I'm recommending you to search for a book called Jack's Blowjob Lessons. There is nothing more that you'll need if you want to learn how to give incredible head.
I think that you can download it here: http://www.jacksblowjoblessons.com/
Anonymousover 12 years agoSo you’re new to this blowjob thing. You’ve finally found the right guy and you feel you’re ready, but suddenly you’re nervous. You don’t know what you’re doing and you don’t want to mess it up. Maybe you’ve never even seen a penis before. Many people find themselves feeling awkward and clumsy and lose confidence if things don’t turn out. This is a friendly tutorial giving you some pointers to help you feel more prepared.
First of all, a blowjob is not gross, sexually depraved, or a tool of evil. It is a wonderful, loving gift that is shared between two people for the purposes of pleasure and intimacy. Giving a blowjob does not make you dirty, skanky, or morally bankrupt.
Secondly, if you have never seen a penis before, it may seem bizarre and alien. It twitches and changes size, often without conscious input from your man. The balls are especially interesting, the skin shifting and squishing around of its own free will like a lava lamp. The penis can often seem like an entirely separate entity from your man. It is not. If you treat it harshly, you will hurt him, sometimes quite badly, whereas lavishing it with a little TLC allows your man to enjoy all the pleasure and happiness that the situation calls for.
Thirdly, be patient with yourself. You’ve never done this before; you’re bound to make mistakes. Try, try again! Find a man who will appreciate your innocence and gently guide you towards his preferences. I doubt you will ever encounter a man who is disappointed that you want to try again.
Here are a few general suggestions to keep in mind:
1. Beware the teeth!
The number one mistake that first-timers make is allowing their teeth to scrape against the shaft as they move in and out. Teeth are sharp! Especially molars. When first taking the penis into your mouth, try to hold your jaws as far apart as you can inside until you are more certain of the dimensions and the way everything fits. This can be difficult, but is definitely worth it if you can avoid scraping his tender parts! This is not to say that you should avoid all contact with teeth; as you grow more experienced, gentle nips and nibbles with the front teeth can be quite pleasing to your man and lend an air of playfulness.
2. Start out slow
You don’t want to end up tiring yourself out by rushing frantically into things. A penis can respond to the lightest of touches. Try teasing him at first with light licks and strokes. Run your hands gently over his thighs and abdomen, stimulating his skin. It builds excitement for him and you don’t burn out right away. It can also be a pretty sexy experience for you too, increasing your enjoyment.
3. Not too hard!
As mentioned earlier, you do not have to wrestle a penis to get it to respond. You don’t want your man to feel like you’re trying to pull his penis out like a stubborn dandelion! Especially in the beginning, when the penis is still soft and pliable, a gentle but firm hold is more than enough. Also, you want to be sliding the skin of the shaft up and down rather than jerking the whole thing, so you don’t have to pull very hard either. If you are sucking on it, a constant, minimal suction is the way to go, at least at first; just enough so he knows it’s there. Sucking too hard right at the beginning can have a similar effect to yanking (for him) and you may end up with a headache which spoils everyone’s fun! As things intensify, you can increase speed and suction in order to bring him to new heights, but remember to still not squeeze too hard! As the penis grows and hardens, you will no longer be able to slide the skin up and down, so make sure to keep up lots of lubrication to avoid chafing. A mixture of hand and mouth action takes care of this problem quite nicely.
4. Don’t be afraid to try new things
Since you are still getting to know your partner’s preferences and reactions, try lots of different things until you have a better idea of what works. Ask him for direction, check in with him often until you can read his reactions better. Play, investigate, try different positions and locations, different sequences of actions. Your man himself might not have even discovered all his pleasure spots and preferences. For best results, keep doing this for the duration of the relationship, it’ll only make things better!
5. Mix it up
So you’ve got the basics and you’re feeling more confident but suddenly you realize that you’ve been thinking about what to have for dinner instead of what you are doing. This is because it has become repetitive and boring! You have been doing the same lick/suck/rub routine for the last five minutes. No wonder you are no longer interested! Meanwhile, repetitive action can lead to decreased sensitivity for your man, so he’s not enjoying it as much as he could either. Time to mix it up! Try doing things in a different order, add a spontaneous flick of the tongue, (right underneath the head is nice and sensitive!) try more suction, less suction. Maybe stop for a quick make out session for a few seconds before dropping back down, or suck on the side of the shaft while your fingers massage the head. Imagine how it makes him feel when you do different things. Maybe it feels like you have five tongues when you slide your fingers around like that. Wow! How amazing must that feel! Now you are definitely devoting your full attention again and you get to enjoy his gasps of delight as you surprise him with your new tricks.
6. Look him in the eye
Depending on the position and angle, this may be difficult, but whenever possible, try to maintain eye contact. This shows your man that you are engaged and happy to be with him as an individual. It also means that you get to watch him and share his pleasure.
7. Don’t forget the balls!
While an integral part of the male anatomy, these poor little guys are easy to forget. The balls contain numerous nerve endings and can cause some powerful feelings of pleasure when stimulated. It is easy to feel afraid of hurting them, but they can withstand a surprising amount of pressure before discomfort is felt (unless you suddenly whack them for some reason!). Stroking them, cupping them in your hand, massaging them, sliding the skin around, licking them, even sucking them, are all welcome contributions to any blowjob. Also, slight pressure on the area of the skin just underneath the balls, between the legs, can be surprisingly pleasurable. Unfortunately, your man might be hairier down there than you like. Do not be afraid to ask him to keep himself clean and well kept. It is likely that he just hadn’t thought of it and will be happy to keep you happy. After all, that means more BJs for him!
8. Respond
Congratulations! You are giving your man the wonderful gift of a blowjob! He is definitely happy and aroused and you need to show that you are happy and aroused too! Aside from maintaining eye contact, smiling, giggling, moaning, gasping, humming (good vibrations!), and even dirty talk if you’re feeling saucy, are all great ways of letting your guy know that you are enjoying yourself. This helps him to know that you are doing this because you want to, not because you feel you should or because he asked you to. This makes him feel great!
9. Taking it Deep
Do not feel pressured to take his penis all the way into your mouth at first. Depending on the size of your mouth and the size of his penis, you may never be able to take it all the way in. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Someday you may feel confident enough to try, in which case, take it slow. Go a little further each time, there’s no need to rush. While you’re making your man feel good, he may get carried away and begin thrusting his hips. Don’t panic! Relax your throat as much as you can and concentrate on breathing deeply and slowly. If you find yourself gagging a lot, try clenching your free hand hard. I’m not sure why, but it really helps your throat relax. If despite your best efforts, you really can’t get the hang of it or he’s just too big for you, that’s ok. Try wrapping your moist hand around the base or middle of his penis and suck on the head. Coordinate your hand and head movements so both go in and out at the same time. This gives the impression that your mouth is much larger. Do not be afraid to drool, saliva is the best lubricant. And you definitely want a lot of lube, to avoid chafing.
10. Prepare for Ejaculation
Inevitably, there will come the moment of truth. Your man is going to cum. Don’t be afraid! It does happen suddenly, but you can ask your man to tell you when he is about to cum so he doesn’t surprise you. It will be hot and usually will also be salty, although it may also taste sweet or sour, depending on what he has eaten. (Believe it or not, it does make a difference!) You do NOT have to swallow it, despite what you may have heard. You can finish him with your hand if you wish, or if you really feel that you should keep your mouth on him until the end, you can spit it out. If you do spit it out however, it may hurt his feelings a bit and dampen his enjoyment of the blowjob. Imagine how you would feel if he sputtered and spit every time you stick your tongue in his mouth. Not that great. I recommend finishing him with your hand at first, until you gain confidence. Also, try to avoid immediately rushing to wash off your hand as though it were covered in acid. Take a few minutes to cuddle or kiss, let him know you enjoyed yourself. Maybe ask him his opinion on something new you tried.
11. Be spontaneous!
While you may be a little shy at first, as you gain confidence, don’t be afraid to randomly shove your man onto the couch and pull his pants down. Maybe surprise him in the shower or pounce on him when he gets back from work. A favourite is waking him up on a Saturday morning with a blowjob. It’s a wonderful surprise for him and definitely keeps things interesting. You also get the additional benefit of feeling crafty about giving him spontaneous presents. This shows your man that you are willing to take charge and that he doesn’t feel like he has to beg for it all the time, which is annoying for you and demoralizing for him. In short, have fun! Enjoy each other and the affection that you share, and you can look forward to many happy blowjobs in the future!
Anonymousover 12 years agoI recently just got married and I gave my husband head for the first time. It was awkward, but he loved it and I wanted to find some good advice and tips to give him another one and be better. These were great tips, Thanks!!
Anonymousover 12 years agomy guy enjoyed ur tips for ur partner.....especially the ice cream one. Thanks alot
Anonymousalmost 13 years agoNo matter how "good" you feel that you are at it you have to truly be engulfed in attraction to him if you're not completely consumed in attraction and sexual desire for him then it wont be great for either of you and lose all insecurities and let yourself go he loves it when you show how much of a sex goddess that you know you are......have fun girls and remember have fun and let him return the pleasure
