Caroline Ch. 06.05byVitorio©
If you are new to this series please read the intro to Ch 01 so you'll know what to expect. It isn't strictly necessary to read the earlier chapters but some of this won't make sense if you don't so I hope you will! Only a little bit of sex here – still developing the characters).
Joanna's Tale, 04:
Sex on the phone!
I awoke very early, it was still dark and, for some unknown reason, felt very lonely. I got up and found my way to the master bedroom, crept into bed with Mike and Lena, and cuddled up to her. She woke briefly, smiled and cuddled me back. I felt safe and secure in her arms knowing Mike was there as well. I had awoken so confused about how I felt. I must have worked out as I slept what Mike and Lena had been up to last night. I didn't mind, it was nice that they were so concerned about me, but I was going to have some fun with them. I drifted off to sleep again and when I woke again the sun was shining through the bedroom window.
I felt marvellous. All the feelings of last night washed over me. No questions now. Oh, none had been resolved but it didn't matter. Here I was with the two people I loved most in the world and I could rely on them to help me sort my feelings out, mind you, after I'd tackled them about last night. I'd been woken by Mike getting up and I lay there looking up at him as he surveyed the two of us. He had a lovely smile on his face, not possessive or anything like that, just enjoying the sight of these two women whom he loved and who loved him.
"You might need to repair some faces this morning," he said laughing.
Of course, we'd gone to bed with all our make-up on. I sat up and saw myself in the mirror. I looked a state, smudged mascara and everything then I looked at Lena, still asleep. She looked waiflike, frail now in her sleep. Oh how I loved her then. I bent and kissed her and looked at Mike.
"She's lovely isn't she?" he said with a voice full of love.
"Yes, she is," I said seriously, "But I think she's going to need some facial repair as well," I added laughing.
"I'll go and start breakfast," he said smiling, "bacon and eggs, I think."
I nodded 'yes' and gently began to wake Lena as he left the room.
"Come on lazy bones, time to get up." She yarned lazily and opened her eyes.
"You look terrible," she said sleepily.
"If you think I look bad," I said laughing at her, "you should see yourself. We didn't take our make-up off last night did we. Our faces are a mess and the pillows are filthy."
She didn't seem bothered, "Oh well," she said, "let's go and have a shower. What time is it?"
I looked at the clock. Oh my dear, it was nearly midday. "It's nearly twelve," I said, "come on the day's half gone."
"But what a lovely night," she said thinking back, "for me and for you!" she added with a big smile.
"Yes," I said seriously, "I want to talk to you two about that!"
This woke her up. She looked a bit sheepish and dashed off into the en-suite. I followed her in and we showered together. After drying and throwing on some loose clothes we went downstairs to the breakfast room where Mike had laid out breakfast. The full works this morning. "I think we need this don't you? Come on tuck in."
I saw Lena trying to make furtive signs at him, nodding towards me. He couldn't make out what she meant so he just ignored her and ate his breakfast. I waited until we had all finished then I tackled them.
"Right you two, what was going on last night?"
"Er r r r, nothing," said Lena looking as guilty as sin, "nothing. Why?" Now she was playing the innocent.
"Something was going on. Tarting me up before we went, nods and winks at each other all evening, embarrassing Guy like that. Come on I know you two were up to something. Tell me what it is."
Lena looked helplessly at Mike. I was laughing inside. She thought I was angry. It might go some way to teaching her a lesson.
He was smiling at both of us. He knew I wasn't annoyed and was enjoying the show. "It's no good Lena, I'll tell her." Poor Lena, she looked so shocked. She does manage to make mountains out of molehills.
He sat next to me, took my hands in his, and looked me straight in the eye. "Yes," he said, "we were up to something but not very much really. Look, I need to explain something. It wasn't Lena's idea," I raised my eyebrows and looked at her, "it was mine," he ended smiling softly at me. "I was worried you see, worried about you. No wait," he went on as I began to interrupt, "let me finish. I was worried that you might feel 'left out', uncared for, even ignored, when the baby came along. What with all the things happening to Lena and me, you know, well, I was worried," he ended rather lamely.
I squeezed his hands, "Thank you," I said smiling at him, "you needn't be, but thank you anyway. How did that affect last night?"
"Well," he said with a quick glance at Lena, "I thought the answer might be that you had a man of your own."
"That sounds like Lena," I said smiling at her.
"Honestly Jo, it was Mike's idea but I thought it was a good one. You said, you remember, that you felt a little bit down last week so I thought this would help. I knew that Mike wouldn't suggest it if he didn't have someone in mind."
"Yes, I did. You must have guessed by now that that was Guy. We knew you wouldn't take to a man who wasn't 'nice', you know, unthreatening, and Guy is such a nice man. I knew we couldn't throw you at him but I knew you would meet last night at the party. All I did was make sure you sat next to him at dinner. It was my idea to get Lena to embarrass him as much as she did. She was trying to make you angry with her and I think she succeeded. Don't be cross with us, we were only thinking of you and we didn't do anything really did we?"
No they hadn't had they. "Of course I forgive you, I'm not at all upset or anything. It's so nice that you both think of me." I moved across to sit on his lap. "I was a bit down last week. You two are so happy. I know I'm part of that but, oh you know, sometimes I feel like I'm intruding."
He put his arms around me and held me tight, "You'll never intrude, darling one, never. Will she Lena."
"Never," she said as he came over and moved me to one knee then sat on the other. She held me tightly and we all shared a moment of togetherness. But I had some questions for them. I needed some help, advice I suppose. I moved form his knee to the chair opposite.
"I really need you to help now," I said looking at them both. "I had some strange and wonderful feelings last night and I don't know how to deal with them or what effect they'll have on us all."
"I know what you felt like," said Lena softly, looking from Mike to me. "You felt as if you belonged in his arms didn't you? And when you kissed him it was like and electric shock. When he touched you it was thrilling wasn't it. And when he held you close you were frightened."
"How did you know all that," I asked surprised that she was so perceptive.
"Because that's how I felt when I first knew I was in love with Mike," she said looking at him with eyes full of love, "that's how I feel now. I belong in his arms, he belongs in mine. I know that's right. When he kisses me it is like an electric shock sending a zinging feeling all over me. When he touches me, well you know what that does. And I am frightened sometimes," she touched him softly on the cheek, "frightened of how strong these feelings are. So, yes I know how you felt, I could see it on your face. You're frightened aren't you, scared stiff at all these feelings inside. Butterflies when he looks at you," I nodded, "heart beating when he holds you." Again I nodded. "You feel you want to hold him forever and never let go, right." Another nod.
She walked over to me and hugged me tight before pulling away and saying, "Oh Joanna, I'm so pleased for you. Now you know, know how I feel, how you should feel as you fall in love." She was ecstatic. "Oh Mike isn't it wonderful, Jo's falling in love. Oh, I'm so happy." She was almost skipping round the kitchen in her pleasure at how I felt. I wasn't so sure.
"I can't be certain of that can I. Oh I felt all those things last night but I've only met him once haven't I, danced a little and eaten with him. It's much too early to say anything like that. Tell her Mike," I virtually begged him. For some reason I became frightened, frightened of my feelings.
He stood and held me, "What are you frightened of Jo. You looked like someone who was falling in love last night. So did he for that matter. Why are you afraid. Is it Steve?"
I didn't know myself really but he was right, I was afraid. More that just frightened of my feelings, frightened of where they would lead me. I felt nothing as strong as this with Steve but still my feelings for him had betrayed me. That wasn't all. My feelings for Mike and Lena were strong, where would these new feelings for Guy leave them. I couldn't bear the thought of losing either or both of them. I was so confused. I sorry to say that I started to cry. This caused a major problem as Lena got so worried about me she got really upset as well. Thankfully Mike took us both under control and guided us into the lounge to talk it all out.
Well, I managed to blurt all this out, explain about Steve, about how I felt about them and, finally, how I felt about Guy. I desperately wanted to see him again, have him touch me, near me. I don't know how to explain it but I felt as if a part of me was missing despite the short time I had known him.
As usual Mike was the most calm. Lena was as bad as me, her happiness at me apparently falling for Guy overshadowed by how it would effect the three of us.
"OK," he said, "now we'll all sit down and talk about this calmly. Lena, you go and make some coffee. Jo, you just sit there quietly for a moment and gather your thoughts." So Lena and I did. When she came back with the coffee we were both calmer.
"Now," he said calmly, "of course you're frightened Jo. Strong feelings like those you have for Guy always frighten. You feel you're out of control. Well, in this case I don't think it matters. Be out of control," he added smiling at me, "I think that you may well enjoy it."
"But what about Steve. I felt a bit like this with him. Oh not so powerful but similar nevertheless?"
He smiled again, "Yes," he said, "you're frightened of being hurt again. Well I can't say for certain but from the look of that young man last night, and I know him fairly well, he was equally smitten with you. I suspect he would go through fire, famine, and flood for you. As for hurting you, never intentionally. Of that I'm absolutely sure. He's a good man, shy with women, but a good man." This last he said with much feeling.
"Do you really think so, would he do that for me?" I asked naively.
"Well, as I said, I can't say for certain but I would bet my life on it. Look, I remember Lena telling me what you said to her when she first decided to seduce me," he smiled at her and she poked her tongue out at him and pouted outrageously, "'don't die wondering' you said remember?"
I had said that hadn't I.
"That was good advice then Jo," said Lena, "and I think it's good advice now."
They made up my mind. "You're both right," I said with a light-hearted glow, "there is no point is there. If I live the rest of my life with Steve on my shoulder I'll never meet anyone else." Then sadness hit me, "But what about us?"
He held my hands again and looked me in the eye. "The decision is yours isn't it. I don't want to lose you." Then he looked upwards, "Oh that doesn't sound right. Look, oh I don't know how to say this. Lena, help please." I was unusual for him to be lost for words so I knew that he was profoundly moved at this point.
"I think he means that he loves going to bed with you but that he doesn't just not want to lose you because of that. There's more to his love for you than just sex. Just as there is more than that in my love for you. We can't love you the same way that Guy might love you. I don't know but perhaps that's only possible one at a time but we do love you all the same. I think what Mike means is that you might have to make that choice, the choice between him and us."
I was devastated. I didn't want to have to make a choice like that. "I couldn't do that," I said distressed and nearly in tears. "Surely he wouldn't ask me to do that."
Mike answered, "No Jo, I don't think he would. I know him, goodness me he's been like a son to me for nearly 10 years," he said strangely, "he's too kind and thoughtful to put someone he really loved in that position. The other thing is that anyone who really loved you could never ask you to make that decision. But we don't know do we."
"Would you be willing to share him?" asked Lena.
"Why," I asked sharply, "do you want him?"
"Well," she replied looking at Mike, "yes I do. Mike knows that. I've always fancied him but that's not the reason I'm asking now. If you want us to stay together then you are asking him to share you, aren't you?"
"I hadn't thought of it like that. Oh dear, this gets very complicated doesn't it."
Lena laughed, "That's exactly what I thought when I first realised the complications of sharing Mike," she said as she looked over at him lovingly, "but we overcame them didn't we. Well, would you share him. It would only be with me I think, yes Mike?" she ended archly.
He laughed, "Oh yes indeed," he said, "I am totally heterosexual. I know it sounds a bit hypocritical but I've never had the slightest bit of interest in another man. Well, not in that way certainly. I don't know. Is it that it's easier for a woman? You two have no hang-ups about your relationship. I don't know. But yes, you would only have to share him with Lena."
"But how would you feel about that," I asked him, "surely you'd be jealous. After all he's only 24 isn't he?" As I said it I realised that it was a cruel thing to say to him, especially as I knew how much he worried about Lena and younger men. I rushed into his arms, hugged him, and burst into tears. "Oh, I'm so sorry, so, so sorry. I didn't mean it. Oh Lena, I'm sorry."
He pulled away and took my face in his hands, "It's the truth isn't it and sometimes the truth hurts," he said sadly, "but you must know Joanna, that I love Caroline with all my heart and, if she found a younger man with whom she was truly happy, I would never stand in her way."
Now he had two of us in tears because Lena rushed over and threw her arms around him sobbing, "I won't ever leave you, never, never, never," she said vehemently, "do you hear, never."
He kissed us both and sat us down again, both sniffling. "Look, I wouldn't be jealous if Lena went with Guy, how could I be. You go with me don't you, and you want to continue. Lena goes with you, I'm not jealous of you. Why should I be jealous of Guy. I love him as well, in my own way. I've told Lena," he said in that strange tone of voice, "he's like the son I haven't had so I'm not jealous. I'm like Lena I suppose. I want everyone to be happy. You two looked wonderful together last night. Like two star-crossed lovers, two teenagers on their first date. It was lovely wasn't it Lena?"
This brought a smile to her face. "It was so funny when you started dancing. You got closer and closer together. Then you put your arms round each other and you rested your head on his shoulder. Oh it looked so natural. Then you looked up and jumped away like a scalded cat. Both of you standing in the middle of the floor staring at each other. Oh Joanna, you've got to go for this. It's right, I know it is, it feels right and you look so good together." Then she added with a tiny pout and an arching of her eyebrows, "And, if there's a chance of sharing think of all the combinations."
"Lena you are terrible," I laughed and the tension had gone and I knew I was going to go for this. Not throw myself at him but just let nature take it's course.
"Have you made up your mind," Mike asked me gently, "and take no notice of that sexy minx over there," he added laughing, "I'll take care of her tomorrow night!" She poked her tongue out at him again and made an outrageous pout.
I laughed at the two of them, so happy. So was I now that I had talked it over with them. "Yes," I said, "I'm not going to push things, just let it take it's course, but I don't suppose I'll see him until the wedding will I."
"Well," he said smiling, "I've a little surprise for you. Part of our plan I'm afraid. He's bringing the car back tomorrow and we're all going out to lunch, is that OK."
My heart skipped a beat, I'd see him tomorrow. Was it OK, you bet it was. "I can see that it is OK," he said laughing, "are you sure you're ready for this?"
"Mmm," I said, "yes, I'm ready." Then I threw my arms round his neck, "Thank you, it's a nice surprise," and I kissed him.
"I hope you're going to behave yourself Joanna, we can't have you showing us up tomorrow." This from Lena!
I laughed at with her, "No, I'm all right now but I really can't wait to see him again. Is that how you felt with Mike?"
"Mmm, not immediately but it slowly grew to be like that as I realised how much I loved him, yes it was." She looked at him and smiled, "And now I can't bear to be away from him. That's the only problem with this love thing," she said smiling wanly, "it's bloody good but it's painful sometimes."
Mike walked over to her and put his arms round her, "It's a pain I'd suffer a thousand times for the reward of you loving me," he said to her, and he meant it. She started to sniffle then but he shushed her with a kiss. Would Guy be like that, oh how I hoped he would. Would he say things like that to me. I saw the effect they had on Lena, and I knew the effect of what he said had on me. If they were said by the man I truly and totally loved how much stronger would these feelings be.
Just at that moment the 'phone rang and Mike went to the study to take it. He was gone quite a while which gave Lena and me a chance to chatter about last night and Guy.
"I'm sorry if I upset you but I wanted you to take notice of him and the best way to do that was for me to tease him. I do normally but not that much. Am I forgiven?"
I smiled at her, "Of course. It was funny wasn't it, to see his face when you kissed him like that. He does fancy you doesn't he?"
"Well, Mike reckons he does. He says that Guys eyes follow me all the time," then she lowered her voice, "he says that Guy probably masturbates thinking of me. Shame really, now he'll be thinking of you!"
"Lena, you're incorrigible. Mike doesn't know that does he."
"No, not really. I think he was only kidding but I bet he dreamt of you last night as much as you dreamt of him. You did didn't you?"
"Mmm, I did. Two big blue eyes and dancing, dancing all night. Oh Lena is it really true, could he be the one?"
She laughed, "I wouldn't be surprised the way you're behaving but look, take it easy now. You told me to do that, remember. If he is you'll soon know. See him tomorrow then you can judge how you feel, and how he seems. Oh, I'm so excited," she ended cuddling me.
Just then Mike came back into the room with a face like thunder.
"What's the matter darling?" asked Lena, concerned.
"I've just been talking to the shrew of Paddington," he said angrily.
"My middle daughter Belinda. I'm afraid I lost my temper with her."
Lena went to him, "Why, what did she say?"
"Well," he said, "I won't repeat that. Suffice to say she was rude about you. I ignored it the first time and tried to explain to her what we had but she wouldn't listen and insisted on calling you names. She's just got the letter, you know, the one from Nerys, so she knows I've changed my will. Greedy cow," he ended angrily.
"It doesn't matter does it. I don't mind what they call me. I suppose they must be upset getting a stepmother younger than they are."