Carrion

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41 words
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Maria2394
Maria2394
22 Followers

The dead thing lies there, loudly
its stench caws and caws
until the ground is livid
and squirms, too bad
that dead thing cannot flex
its throat into focused words
that one might hope
to understand

for anonymous

Maria2394
Maria2394
22 Followers
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7 Comments
tazz317tazz317over 11 years ago
FOR THEM LAY-ING THERE

are words enough for a tome, TK U MLJ LV NV

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Tooshay!

My, my. It sounds a bit like revenge. lol

I'd say no changes what so ever are necessary.. very well expressed.

Sincerely,

Jes_da_man

vrosej10vrosej10about 13 years ago
~

I like this one. Not sure about the cawing either. I am in the process of writng something similar. Death and pregnancy are recurrent themes with me, so this one is a hit with me.

GuiltyPleasureGuiltyPleasureabout 13 years ago
Take that.....

.....Anonymous! Seething with images and well chosen words.

Tess

AngelineAngelineabout 13 years ago
Painfully beautiful

I wouldn't change the squirms line. I think there's a real referent there (maggots, for example) but it also works well with the overall image you are conveying. The whole poem does because it's short and vivid and precise.

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