tagCelebrities & Fan FictionCatwoman: The Eros Formula

Catwoman: The Eros Formula


Disclaimer: If you are under the age of 18 and/or do not appreciate graphic descriptions of consensual sex, please read no further. This is a parody. Catwoman and Batman are trademarks of DC Comics and Time Warner. This work means in no way to deny the rights of those companies, nor was it written for profit. They are used here without permission.

This is a one-shot story about Catwoman, with the potential for further stories. This is based on the Jim Balent-era Catwoman, with that great purple outfit. Damn, I miss her...



Catwoman slipped easily through the motion detection lasers, her body moving with the grace and precision of an Olympic gymnast. The air duct she was crawling through was tiny, allowing for very little in the way of wiggle room, but she managed easily enough.

This was a fairly standard job. Corporation A, utilizing a code-named employee who didn't wish to volunteer his real name nor the name of his company, wanted her to break into Corporation B's research labs and steal some new, high-tech McGuffin. One million had already been wired into her account, with another million to follow after the job was done.

It was fairly tedious work. No fancy tombs to be raided, no power reactors to blow up, no ninjas to fight, but it paid the bills and it offered very little in the way of danger. Too bad that the danger was always what proved to be the most exciting part of her job. Without danger, there was no chance of getting caught, and if there was no chance of getting caught, there was no chance of running into Batman. Catwoman sighed silently to herself as she continued snaking her way through the claustrophobic shaft.

Batman. If ever there was a guy that was hard to crack, it was him. She tried to reason that she only wanted him because she couldn't have him. But she knew it was more than that.

She'd lost count of the nights she'd spent in the dark, alone and touching herself, trying to drive out the desire. It was no good, however. It always left her hornier than when she'd started, and more in lust. Of course, she wouldn't lower herself to go pick up any guy off the street. If she couldn't have Batman, she didn't want anyone else to take his place. If she couldn't work it out herself, then she just wouldn't work it out.

After thirty minutes of crawling she made it to the vent junction that she had been aiming for. She took the northeast vent and crawled for another fifty yards. There was the grate. She flicked her gloved hand and her steel cat's claws snapped out from her fingertips. She unscrewed the grate in record time, pulling it into the vent before she slid out and dropped silently to the floor.

She swept her wavy black hair from her emerald eyes and surveyed the room. It was the right one; she'd memorized the blueprints well. She was made uncomfortable by the fact that the fluorescent lights were on. She preferred jobs that left her secreted in shadows. But no matter.

She had twenty seconds to get to the keypad and tap in the code she'd bought for twenty K from the security guard. If it didn't work she was going to have to make a very quick exit from this place. Stonegate prison was a whole hell of a lot harder to break out of than any lab.

She found the keypad by the door and tapped in the four-digit code. A flashing red light on the console became a steady green one, and she knew the lab was hers. Looking around, she took in the details of the room. It was like a hospital in how sterile it was; desks were lined up against the walls, each with half a dozen computers on them. On the fourth wall there was a large plastic window. Looking through it, she spotted her prize. It was a long, thin vial kept beneath a small glass dome, atop a metal podium.

'Eat your heart out, 007.' She thought to herself. She punched the same code as before into the clean room's security pad and walked in. The way she approached the podium was Indiana Jones-like in the reverence she offered her prize, and she smirked at it.

She'd hacked into the security system before arriving at the research centre. The keypads ran on a separate line, which had necessitated her buying of the code, but the cameras and clean room sensors had been easy to get into, even for a novice hacker such as herself. By all estimations, she should just be able to pry open the glass dome and swipe the vial. She was still nervous, though. There was no real way of telling if her hacking attempts had been successful.

Steeling her nerves, she swept the glass lid away and grabbed the test tube. No alarms sounded, no lights flashed. She let out a calm breath, placed the lid back on the podium and turned to leave. Her heart almost stopped as she saw for the first time the figure standing in the doorway.

"Where do you think you're going with that?" He asked.

"To my buyer," she said. "You going to try to stop me?"

He wore a white lab coat, with a loosened tie and an unironed, untucked shirt. His black pants led to a pair of beat-up old sneakers. His hair was unkempt, his face unshaved, and the glasses he wore glinted in the lab's harsh light. He had a sort-of geeky guy from 'Stargate' appeal to him, and the fact that he seemed unafraid of her made him all the more appealing, but she brushed all that aside. At the moment he was in her way, and she couldn't allow anyone to be in her way.

"Do you have any idea what you're holding there?" He asked, ignoring her threat.

"Nope. You going to tell me, Dr...?"

"Dr. Preston McGregor. And you, I assume, are Catwoman."


As always, Preston had been working late. After all the other research staff had taken off for the night he remained, diligently working away at his computer. There was still data that needed processing, still variables that needed analysis. The feedback they'd been getting back from the drug trials had been overwhelmingly positive so far, but there was still numbers that Preston wanted to crunch. So, as always, he'd locked himself away in the lab.

At two AM he'd found himself starving and bleary-eyed. Leaving the lights on but arming the security precautions, he'd gone off to get coffee and a sandwich from the vending machines in the hall. When he'd returned, it had been to a stunning sight that had made him drop his plastic sandwich container and his Styrofoam cup.

Catwoman. Catwoman here in the lab. His heart had started pounding in a second, a fine coat of sweat growing on his skin. There she was with her dark, wavy hair spilling out down her curved back, her large breasts jutting out proudly, her arms and legs in those long, black gloves and boots. And that suit. That skin-tight purple bodysuit that shone slickly in the light.

Then he'd realized what she was going, why she was here, and any kind of attraction he was feeling was replaced with anger. How dare she? How dare she come in here and try to steal his work?

He paced over to the lab door and opened it, standing moodily in the doorframe. When she turned and looked at him, catching him with those glinting green eyes that promised something so dangerous, he felt his insides quiver again. But he pushed this feeling down, suppressed it, and slid on a mask of stony solidity. For her part, she was taking the fact that she'd been caught red-handed pretty cool.

"Where do you think you're going with that?" He asked.

"To my buyer," she said, not skipping a beat. "You going to try to stop me?"

He liked her tenacity, he had to admit that to himself. And the way she looked...the male in him wanted to let her go, wanted to do anything to please her. But the scientist won out, as always, and he stood rigidly in the doorway, blocking her only escape.

"Do you have any idea what you're holding there?" He asked, ignoring her threat.

"Nope. You going to tell me, Dr...?"

"Dr. Preston McGregor. And you, I assume, are Catwoman."

"You assume correctly. Fancy name, by the way. Sounds like a Bond villain." She said, starting a slow walk towards him. It was obvious she was sizing him up, working out a way to take him down without breaking the vial in her hand.

"It's an aphrodisiac," he said, ignoring her. If he could buy some time, he could work out what to do without getting his ass handed to him. "Worth billions."

"An aphrodisiac?" She asked, quirking an eyebrow. "How the hell is that 'worth billions'?"

"You've heard of Viagra, I'm guessing."

"I've seen Leno. He has an entire shtick based around it." She answered snidely, still walking in that slow, predatory way.

"This'll put Viagra out of business. It's based on research we've conducted about the nature of pheromones. It'll be bottled as an inhalant, so anyone with an operating set of lungs will be able to take it. It's five hundred times more effective than Viagra, with no recorded side effects. It costs less to produce, and its effective for both sexes, male and female."

"Wow, that's incredible," she said with a facetious tone and a shrug of the shoulders. "Now why are you telling me all of this?"

"You take that out this door, it goes to what I'm guessing will be Faiszer, the makers of Viagra. They put it on the market before we do and I'm out of a job. So you'd be doing me a big, big favour if you were to just put it back in its place, turn around and leave. I won't even call the cops."

"Wait a minute," she said, holding up a hand. "You're telling me I've been hired by the bozos that make Viagra?" She said incredulously.

"Uh huh." Preston replied.

"To steal a hard-on drug?"

"Well, that's ignoring its dual effects on women, but basically? Yeah, pretty much."

Catwoman raised the vial to her face and looked at its contents. It was nothing more than a transparent liquid, like water.

"What's it called?"

"The Eros formula," he said, not noticing how his chest stuck out with pride. "I invented it, actually."

"Well, goody for you. Look...Preston, right?" She asked. He nodded. "Pres, I don't want to be a bitch or anything; but I am. And I'm sorry you're going to lose your job. Kind of. But this little vial of hard-on is worth two million---wait. You said billions?"

"Billions." He said, nodding again.

"Well, it's worth whatever amount I end up ransoming it for. So thanks for the tip, but I'm sorry. I'm going to have to go through you now."

"You can try." He said. She chuckled.

"You're serious?"

"Dead serious. I didn't spend the last three years of my life working on that thing for you to saunter in here and steal it out from under me."

"Hey, pal, I don't saunter," she said. "I sashay."

The second the words had left her mouth she was spiralling down, taking out his feet from beneath him with a round-house kick. She was moving to stand, moving to get out, even as he came crashing into her, pushing her down. She cursed herself for fouling up her attack as they fell in a mess to the lab floor.

"The vial!" She heard him cry out, and watched in horror as the test tube went flying from her hand. It spun up into the air over their heads as they landed clumsily on the ground. They watched it as it twirled higher and higher, peaked, then came dropping down like an angel expelled from the skies.

They both made to grab it as it fell, both of them working against one another as they scrambled for it. When it landed on the laboratory floor, it was with the sound of shattering glass.

The effect was instantaneous. Selina could feel the hard-on pressing against her thigh, the sensation of it making her close her eyes and leaving her wet between the legs. She slowly bit down on her lower lip as she tried to contain the groan that was clawing its way out of her throat.

For his part, Preston was taken aback by how powerful the drug was. Certainly, he was attracted to Catwoman, but up until this moment it hadn't caused any major physical repercussions. Now he was desperately trying not to grind his erect cock against her leg as he eyed her quickly hardening nipples, the small nubs quite evident against the purple of her costume.

"Five hundred times more effective, you said?" She asked in a breathless voice.

"Uh huh." He murmured.

"On both men and women?" She traced a hand along her body. He watched her greedily as she followed her curves down to her crotch, touching it hesitantly.

"Uh huh."

"You bastard," she murmured huskily. "I fucking want you."

And with that she climbed on top of him, grabbing him by the back of his head as they embraced in a deep, hungry kiss. Their tongues worked against one another as their bodies rocked and swayed, caught up in the motion of their arousal.

They stayed there a long while, kissing each other with starved passion, indulging themselves in the pleasurable shockwaves it sent through the both of them to rock and grind against one another. Preston jumped when he saw Catwoman raise her hand in the air and flick her wrist, leaving five razor-sharp claws to come striking out from the fingertips of her glove. Worry began to press through his lust-filled brain, worry that she was going to attack him.

Instead, she used the claws to cut away the buttons on his shirt, exposing his chest. She ran her hot, wet tongue up along the length of his bared flesh, opening her mouth and suckling at his chest. He leaned his head back and groaned, stroking a hand through her jet-black hair.

Her hand made its way over his quivering stomach, touching tentatively at first his crotch, then grabbing it and stroking it as she found how aroused he was. She began fumbling with his belt and undoing his fly, cursing under her breath that he wasn't already naked.

Selina was desperate. She was shaking with the need to cum. Her pulse was speeding beneath her skin, her heart was throbbing. She was sure this punk had made her drop the vial on purpose, sure that he'd been planning this, but she didn't care. All she knew was that now she wanted him, every inch of him, and she was going to get it all.

She whipped his belt off with a violent tug, and pulled his pants down just as urgently. He wore a pair of black underwear that was quickly torn off with the help of her claws. His manhood bobbed up, exposed, and she groaned under her breath at the sight of it. A terrible shiver of excitement ran through her, her loins growing even more moist.

Preston watched with agonized anticipation. He couldn't stand the wait, the need. She was studying his nakedness with a lusty awe that made him both incredibly self-conscious and incredibly aroused. He knew he had nothing to be ashamed of, however, and he was far, far too horny now to be reserved. He pushed his crotch up at her proudly, achingly.

She started by using her hands. She stroked the length of him with her fingertips, getting a feel for him, before she circled her hand around him and began running it up and down. Slowly at first, watching his eyes, then gaining in speed, jerking her hand up, down, up, down.

She leaned in quickly, hungrily, and took a slurping lick of the underside of his cock. He grunted at this, closing his eyes, before she brushed the bulging head with her lips. She began tracing the hole with the very tip of her tongue, delicately, making him squirm, before she opened her mouth and started running her lips down along him.

He let out a long, loud groan as he felt her slowly draw him into her mouth. She smirked around the cock she was swallowing, her hand still jerking the base of it; she loved this, she loved the reactions she was getting. It felt so good. After being alone for so long, Selina had almost forgotten what it was like to make a man squirm.

Her cheeks hollowed as she began sucking on him, her tongue running over the bulging head of his shaft. Her mouth drifted lower, swallowing more of him, swallowing his shaft, as her hand all the while kept up its ministrations.

She moaned low and throaty around him, her eyes drifting closed. Beneath her latex costume, her slit was sizzling with its warmth and wetness. She needed to touch it. Her free hand drifted to her crotch, rubbing at it, making her groan.

But it wasn't enough. In frustration, Selina snapped out her claws again, using them quickly and expertly to cut away the mid-section of her costume. Her tanned flesh was left exposed, and desperately she pulled down her now torn pants.

Preston opened his eyes long enough to catch a view of her in the reflection of the stainless steel cabinet. Her pussy was glistening with how wet it was, a driplet of liquid tracing the inner curve of her thigh. She kept herself in immaculate condition, professionally bikini-waxed so that the only pubic hair she had was a small, triangular patch just above her slit.

No sooner had it been exposed than Catwoman was at it, rubbing herself with her fingers, teasing herself by brushing her clit and ever so slightly dipping in and out of her folds. She let out a choked groan around Preston's cock, before her obvious arousal overtook her and she started in on him in earnest. She began bobbing her head, running her sucking, tongue-lashing mouth up and down the length of him. He cried out in intense pleasure as she did so.

Her rhythm increased to a feverish pace, her hand jerking him off into her sucking mouth, her lips running up and down the length of him as she coated his cock in her saliva. It was just as Preston felt he couldn't hold on any longer, that he was going to explode, that she stopped, pulling her mouth away from him and leaving a strand of thick saliva to hang from her bottom lip to the tip of his member.

Catwoman let out an intense cry as she sank two fingers into her now spasming cunt, before she returned her attention to Preston. She watched with a smirk and an arched eyebrow as a bead of pre-cum oozed from him and ran down along his quivering shaft. She started her stroking of him again as she treated his cock like a lollypop, tonguing it all over, swallowing the small line of semen that had trickled from him.

He watched as she kneeled there before him, using her hands to get the both of them off. He closed his eyes and shook his head; he couldn't believe this. He couldn't believe Catwoman, the infamous femme fatale cat burglar, was on her knees fingering herself as she sucked his cock. It was just too good to be true.

Her tongue wrapped around and around the head of his shaft, as she started to whisper.

"I want your cum on my tongue, Preston, in my mouth. I want to swallow it. You think you can do that for me?" Her hand began to pump him in earnest, and he could feel the orgasm bubbling up from his balls. As if she could sense this, she lowered her mouth to them. She kissed and nuzzled them at first, before opening her mouth and suckling on the hairy sack.

"I can do that." He muttered. His brow was sweating profusely and his breath was labouring to get out of his chest.

She sucked wildly at his balls, first one and then the other, as her hand kept speedily working his slick shaft. He saw in the cabinet's reflection how madly she was fingering herself, stopping every now and then to rub her thumb hard into her clit.

Her lips once more found the head of his member, and the room became full with the lewd, popping, sucking sounds she made as she worked on it, dipping her head now and then to lick and suck on more of him, all the while her hand pulsing up and down him.

Preston's teeth clenched. The hairs on the back of his neck stood to full attention. His toes curled as he kicked his legs, his skin tingling all over. Her cried out loud and high as he began to cum, his hot liquid shooting up from deep inside him and spurting from the head, right into Catwoman's waiting, sucking mouth.

She murmured and mumbled her approval as she swallowed him down, jerking him off into her mouth as her tongue ran all over his exploding cock. He continued to roar at his release, never having felt anything like it before. He wondered, in an electrical daze, whether it was the formula or simply Catwoman that had made him feel this way. He knew it was both.

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byJTCIII© 7 comments/ 52236 views/ 39 favorites

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