Cheap Sunglasses

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66 words
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the journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step-
and car keys

a Sunday drive
on Monday morning-
where small-town traffic
is a five minute train

as laid back as
a long blade of grass
I watched the sun rise;
enlightenment is so bright

to protect this delicate pupil
from the harshness of reality
I wear my Zen
like a cheap pair of sunglasses

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5 Comments
Bill DadaBill Dadaabout 16 years ago
^

I never go searching for enlightenment without my cheap sunglasses, its just not done. Very good Art.

sweet GA peachessweet GA peachesabout 16 years ago
I always always love ..

your ZEN writes, tis my fav lines.

"as laid back as

a long blade of grass".

Good to see your words again, have missed

you and your Erotic Tail, oops, I meant Trail,<grins>.

sGp

LeBrozLeBrozabout 16 years ago
~~

Where you been hiding Art? Fine little piece; just a couple tiny little tweaks I'd suggest for your consideration.<br>

<br>

Drop the hyphen/dash in the first stanza and set the third line on its own, like so:<br>

<br>

<i>the journey of a thousand miles<br>

begins with a single step<br>

<br>

and car keys</i><br>

<br>

Also, drop that hyphen/dash after morning in the second stanza; it works just fine without it.<br>

<br>

Finally, I think you might do better to drop "is" from the final line of the third stanza so it reads:<br>

<br>

<i>enlightenment so bright</i><br>

<br>

What, no typos? Give an extra hug {at least} to your editor. All in all, a most fine piece for your return.

WickedEveWickedEveabout 16 years ago
~

The first and last stanza are okay, but the two middle ones really outshine them.

KOLKOREKOLKOREabout 16 years ago
The poem is beter than the philosophy

I really liked the poem untill the last stanza. Something went wrong there between the Zen the reality and the enlightenment from the previous stanza. Perhaps new tutor or better glasses?