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The rising sea has drowned the distant islands.
The morning people fled the blood-red sun
across the hazards of the unknown waters
to try and make it on their forced, long run.
Along the circle's spokes, right at the heart
of this old world, there's evening sinking in -
and yet they go. Perhaps they still may find
new worlds to sail to and new songs to sing.
- COMMENTS
twelveooneabout 11 years agoblood-red sun, eh???
this nice
hazards of the unknown waters
end
this forgivable, playing to the audience?
new worlds to sail to and new songs to sing.
but very nice ring
HarryHillabout 11 years agoLove how the emphasis in the first two lines is in the middle of the line ..drowned/fled.
First stanza... breathtaking... but then..
..The second seems broken (oddly to me who knows little save appreciation) just to rhyme (kinda) the B lines
.. I'd love to change it to...
..
Along the circle's spokes, right at the heart,
there's evening sinking in this old world,
..
puts the emphasis back in the center...
respects always D, beautiful
Harry Tyro
