- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Collectively
Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereElliot called it "The Collective I,"
meaning you understand that if I
say "rosebush by the garden fence,"
you feel mulch under your shoes.
A thorny stem inclines toward you,
and the sun, which casts slats of shadow
onto the lawn, is warm on your cheek
even as you know you're reading my poem
because you're cerebral. Being human,
you have higher-order thinking skills,
so if I say it's the beginning of summer,
it rained last night and this morning
the grass is damp, if I say a few drops
have slipped from oak leaves to your hair,
aren't you there? Morning feels fresh,
you shake your head "Yes," and another
drop falls from you to one rose petal
just starting to bloom, It's still my poem,
but aren't you there? Faintly glowing
with the blush of some memory close
enough to mine to be your hair, your oak,
your rose? You can bend to touch it
if you want. It's our experience now,
even if it never happened anywhere
but here. It's a poem, but listen
in whatever part of your imagination
links my words to your heart. Hear
the screen door slam? Look up. Your father
is smiling at you and the garden and morning.
When he lifts you up and sings your name,
you will still be reading this poem,
but you will have become a moment
in my life, and I will know yours.
- COMMENTS
LeBrozalmost 17 years agoThis poem was mentioned in the Archival Review thread, in a picking through Lit's archive of over 35,000 poems.
----------
LeBrozabout 17 years agoWhat an unusual piece ~ a poem about the reactions of someone reading one of your poems as seen by you describing them reading one of your poems.
sackover 19 years agoand deserves to be read several times. Liar is onto something here...did you break the lines where you did because they wouldn't fit in the Lit. submission box? I question this because you have several longer sentences which you needed to break up presumably due to space reasons. One small thing: people do not usually shake their head "yes". Did you mean to say nod their head yes? The poem is a little choppy in parts because of the spacing, but there is plenty of poignant feeling here. Thanks for sharing your God given talent!
Tathagataover 19 years agoa perfect description that hides the fact of deliberate work and editing.
Very zen of you
; )
I love what this say, the feeding of words and shared images
that link the poet with the reader.
An alternate world, if you will, that both can step into at anytime.
I have dwelt in some of yours many times
thank you for providing another one
Liarover 19 years ago...the sound of this poem, the sentiment, the idea and the elocution of it. Just beautiful, with a linked arch of notions that evolves grandly.
But what I can't really understand is the layout. The length of the lines, or the grouping of trios seems to me just to make it appear visually a poem. Line and stanza breaks don't correalte with what I read, nieher phrase-wise or rhythmically. It makes me think I'm missing an important dimension of the poem.
Am I?
