Dear Diary Ch. 02bycarsonshepherd©
Tues September 9 1988 11:08 pm
Welcome to the Jungle.
Had a dream last night. Like some of the ones I've had before, but different because HE was there. I walk into the shower room and it's like a SEA of cocks and hairy balls and ass cheeks. I can't see anyone's faces, only their dicks, and they're all hard and pointing at me. I feel like I'm in a pond and all the cocks are lily pads floating around waiting for me to grab them and pluck the flowers. I feel happy and excited but also really anxious. It feels so innocent but I get this sense they're planning something bad.
All the sudden it's like the shower room scene in that movie "Carrie", but instead of throwing tampons at me, they're all jacking off onto me. The cum splatters and showers over me like a fountain. They're laughing and jeering at me. I'm being covered in cum that spews from the tip of all these faceless cocks. I like that part but I'm really embarrassed. I'm totally naked and exposed in front of everybody, they all know and they're all calling me faggot. I'm humiliated but at the same time horny. I still can't see anyone's face until I look up and there's Travis, completely naked. He's beautiful and shining like a Greek god. He looks down at me and smiles like he's going to help me, take me away from all this.
Then I woke up.
Hiking Travis the ball is torture. On the field I can't help but get an erection. I mean, I'm leaning over with my ass right in his face. His hands are between my legs to get the snap. He's bent over me in the classic position of doggie-style fucking. How can I help getting a hard-on? And when I watch him move on the field - hesitating and looking for an open receiver, then throwing the ball without any effort - my heart just skips a beat.
He has this awesome red Iroc. We all saw him drive up in it this morning before school. All the girls were staring at him and the guys were staring at the car. I laughed because guess what I was staring at? Both.
None of us knew he's rich. He seems really nice, not snobby or anything. He saw me and gave me this really big smile and walked over toward me. God, I love his smile. My knees got all shaky but I just grinned and introduced him to Audrey and Missy. Missy's parents have this really great basement rec-room and we all talked about maybe hanging out there this week sometime.
Travis is so nice and so cool. Oh Travis I want to bite your nipples.
I saw his cock today. I swear I wasn't looking. But when he stripped off his pants after practice at the locker next to mine, I was so busy listening to him talk - now I don't know what he was talking about - that I didn't have a chance to turn my head. So I accidentally looked down and there it was hanging down against his thigh casual and soft but big and thick. Fat. His curly dark blonde pubic hair around it, and his big balls all covered with sweat. I swear - I thought I SMELLED them. Oh Travis let me lick all the sweat off your balls… bury my face in your crotch and just smell it…
I looked away really fast but I think he saw me because all the sudden he was kind of grinning. Fuck! He saw me! And I know by the way he was smirking as he pranced off to the shower with his big cock swinging that he knew exactly what I want to do. I wanna take that big fat dick in my mouth. I wanna suck on it till it gets so big and hard all the veins stand out. I want to make all the jizm squirt out so I can swallow it like a big thick milkshake.
I know what jizm tastes like. I've tasted my own and I tasted Rob's. Rob's tasted really salty and mine is more like lemon juice. Thin and sharp. What does your cum taste like Travis? Sweet, like ice cream, I want to lick it off your fat cock like the drips that run down the side of your cone when it gets really hot outside and you can't lick it off fast enough before it melts and drips down your hand.
I waited till everybody was out of the shower before I went in. My dick was hard and I didn't want anyone to see it. Sometimes in the showers a guy will pop a bone and everybody laughs at him. Especially when it happens to Brewer - they call him Donkey Dick! Oh yeah… I'd love to get a real close look at that donkey dick of his…real close and real personal…
Rob. Do you miss me? You never look at me in school. I never look at you either. I never go near the smoking pit where you hang out with all the stoners. But when The Flame comes on the radio… that was our song…
The guys from the team were hanging around Travis' car in the parking lot. He'd opened the hood and they were looking inside while the awesome stereo played Welcome to the Jungle. A couple of them called me over but they knew I had to go right home. Travis had a big grin on his face as I walked away.
He knows I was looking at his dick, but does he know I'm this way? I wonder if people can tell. Sometimes I think they're staring at me and laughing behind my back. Thinking, FAGGOT. I don't think I look like a faggot. Do I? I make sure I walk, talk and dress exactly like all my friends. But there has to be something about me, right? Otherwise how did Rob know? Could he tell just by the way I looked at him?
I've got to stop looking at Travis. I'm not looking at him or thinking about him anymore. He's gonna find out and he'll tell everybody. Even if he is cool, even if he is from California. Then I don't know what I'll do. If everybody on the team really did know like in my dream I don't think I could handle it. I'd have to quit school and my mom would just be destroyed.
Usually one of the guys gives me a ride, they all know I have to get home, but they were too busy looking at Travis' super cool car, so I started walking. God! I need a car so bad! I'd gotten a few blocks when I saw the Iroc stop on the street a few feet ahead of me, the stereo pounding. Travis smiled at me from the window and told me to get in. I did. He asked me where I was going. I was embarrassed because I had to explain all about getting home before my mom left for work. Being forced to baby-sit your little sister is embarrassing. Some of the other guys have after school jobs but I had to tell Travis about how my mom didn't want me to have a job, she wanted me to concentrate on studying and football so I could get a scholarship to college.
Travis didn't say much, he just nodded his head a lot. His eyes are so pretty - so blue. When he looks at me I get all shaky feeling in my stomach. But I'm not looking at him anymore so I can't be all staring into his eyes and getting goofy. Then he'll really know. That's just not something guys do. I need to be just like the other guys on the team.
I love riding next to him in his cool car. The boss stereo was turned up so loud the car was shaking with the vibrations of the bass. I kinda closed my eyes and just imagined for a second that he was my guy … that we were out cruising … that we were headed to the lake to make out or something …
Like that's ever gonna happen. Not with me. Not with a guy. Especially not a guy as hot as this one.
Travis probably lives in a big house or something and it embarrassed me a little to be let off in front of this crappy little tract house, but he was cool, not snobby about it. He's one of those people who doesn't really care about how much money you have. In our school it's more about if you're a jock or a stoner and not how much money you have. Jocks hang with jocks and stoners hang with their own kind, and nobody crosses the line. Rob and I crossed the line just enough for people to start whispering and staring at us. That's why we had to stop hanging out. One of the reasons anyway.
But Travis is a jock, like me. If I'm really careful and I don't look at his dick anymore, I bet we can at least be friends.
Friday September 10 1988 12:34 am
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
I CAN'T fucking believe what happened at Missy's. Did it really happen? Was it was all in my head?
No babysitting tonight because Mom's off work, so me and Audrey and Travis went over to Missy's. We went in Travis' car and turned the radio up really loud. Missy's parents are really nice - for parents anyway. They have this fridge in their rec room that always has sodas and snacks and stuff, and they have a big TV and a VCR and tons of videos. They never come down and bother us while we're watching TV.
Okay so here's how it happened. The chicks wanted to watch "Dirty Dancing". Again. Bet I've seen that movie seven or eight fucking times. Patrick Swayze IS hot, but it has all that music and dancing, and guys aren't supposed to like that shit. So while they watched it and got all gooey, me and Travis goofed off, the way us guys do when we're around chicks. Pretty soon we got bored and shot some pool while the girls watched TV. I was having the best time with Travis. He's so cute and smart, and really nice too. He's got it all. Looks, personality, a huge dick. But all I can do is dream.
And even if I could tell him how I feel, he wouldn't want me.
Anyway! I guess the movie must've gotten the girls in a romantic mood because Missy turned off most of the lights and turned the TV down low. She and Travis were on one couch, and right across, Audrey and I were on the other. The make out started.
Audrey is what you'd call a "nice girl". She always wants me to tell her I love her and everything when we fuck, because she says as long as we're in love, it's okay. It doesn't happen that often and that's fine with me, really. And forget blow jobs. She won't do it. She says "that's icky."
Well obviously Missy, no matter how sweet and innocent she looks, doesn't share that opinion! In no time flat, she had Travis' fly unzipped. When I glanced up from making out with Audrey, I saw her hand reaching into his underwear and wrapping her hand around his big, thick cock! I couldn't believe she was doing this right in front of us! But she didn't seem to notice, she was so focused on that fat dick of his - and I don't blame her one bit.
Oh my God. I was so fucking turned on by what she was doing. Turned on and so jealous I could hardly think. I wanted to be the one doing it! I wanted to feel that warm shaft in my hand while it got all hard, and then slide it into my mouth and let it fill me up.
My dick got hard. I started feeling Audrey's tits, trying not to look at what I knew was happening on the other couch, just a few feet away! But even with my eyes closed I could still see it. I tried to concentrate on Audrey, I really did. It was so disloyal to be thinking about him while I was with her. But I couldn't help it, finally I just HAD to open my eyes again and look over at Missy and Travis.
I looked over just in time to see her pull his underwear down over his nuts, and get down on her knees. I couldn't believe how big his dick is. I mean I'd only seen it soft, and I knew it was big… but I just never thought it would be this big. It made Missy's hand look tiny wrapped around it. I just stared at it as the fat head went in her mouth, stretching her lips. It was like I was hypnotized. Under his spell. I watched as Travis' eyes rolled back in his head. Missy was starting to bob up and down on his big cock, hand around the base. I unbuttoned Audrey's shirt, but at the same time, I kept looking out of the corner of my eyes at Missy sucking Travis' cock. I was so fucking hard. Audrey seemed surprised when her hand brushed my crotch. I never get that hard for her. Also at that moment she realized what was going on across the room, and she looked away really fast.
She knew I was watching - staring like a dog drooling in a butcher shop window probably - but I didn't care. I didn't care. All I wanted to do was look at his dick, at the way his head went back against the couch. His soft, low moans of pleasure filled my ears. I was so fucking jealous. I could make him feel so much better than she could. I could swallow that dick all the way, till my nose was buried in his pubes, the way she couldn't. I wouldn't gag the way she did. And I definitely wouldn't spit…
It's not icky. It's incredible, that hot rush when the cum squirts into your mouth.
All the sudden I looked at Travis' eyes. And that's when it happened: He was looking right at me! And he was grinning! Right at me, while Missy sucked his dick the best she could! He grinned at me as he put his hand on the back of her head and gently pulled her forward, forcing more of his cock into her mouth. The whole time he stared right into my eyes.
I went wild inside. I felt like I was on fire. I took Audrey's hand and pressed it to my dick. It was so hard. She tried to play coy and pull it away, but I pressed against her harder, humping her hand while Travis and I stared into each others' eyes. He grinned, and my dick jumped. It was ME he was fucking, my face, and not hers. I could almost taste it…
All this time Travis was talking dirty to Missy in a real soft voice I could barely hear. Yeah baby, that's it, suck it harder, use your hand, that's real good, oh yes…
Then all the sudden he yelled. "OH FUCK YEAH!" And he came! I could see his jizm run down Missy's chin! There was so much of it, she couldn't hold it all. Her eyes were watering. What a wimp! I'd swallow that big load and beg for more!
At the same time my dick went all tingly, watching him squirt his load, watching his head go back and his eyes close as he hit orgasm, and I came myself, messily, inside my underwear. Oh shit. I've never done that before. Not ever. Audrey was stunned, I was embarrassed, and Travis was across the room on the other couch, grinning and smirking at me while Missy cleaned her face up.
Oh my God. Oh my God. Later, after Travis had dropped Audrey off at her house, he drove me home. The radio wasn't very loud. I was so jazzed, it was like I could feel his breath. I could almost hear his heart beating. And he must've known I was focused on him because he suddenly looked over at me.
"So does Audrey give good head?" he asked. He smirked. I got all embarrassed by his teasing and told him that she didn't do it. She thinks it's "icky".
His voice was really low and almost growly. "Oh, I don't agree with that at all," he said. The way he said it made me get all weak and tingly. "I don't think it's icky at all, do you Tyler?"
The way he said my name almost made me cum in my pants. Again. I was nervous and just kind of mumbled and stuttered, wondering what he could possibly mean. Did he mean getting it, or giving it? Could he possibly mean he wants ME to go down on him…? Oh shit. I just don't know, and I can't say anything - not with such vague signals from him… Or is he being vague? Maybe he's being so fucking obvious any idiot could see it, but I just don't know and I just can't take the chance of him telling the whole football team not to mention kicking my ass…
Well just the thought that he might be coming on to me, not the mention the sight of his dick hard in all its glory, got me so hard the minute I got in my room I HAD to jerk off. I barely even got my pants unzipped and I came so fucking fast. I've NEVER been this turned on…
And even writing it all out makes me so hot I just gotta to do it again RIGHT NOW…