Chapter 1: Session
Mistress, this is my report from the assignment you gave to me to find a "do-me sub" and attempt to turn him into a real sub. As you likely anticipated, this assignment was extremely enlightening to me and led me in directions I did not dream it could go.
Since you will be posting this on your web page I will add some explanation for its readers. A "do-me sub" is, from the perspective of some female dominants such as Mistress and me, a male who labels himself as a submissive and has a specific list of things he would want a female dominant to do to him. Typically, though not always, a do-me sub considers himself to be a real sub but in the view of Mistress and me he is not a sub at all since he does not submit to anything other than the specific acts he desires.
A do-me sub's approach is similar to going to a restaurant and ordering specific items and this to Mistress and me has nothing to do with submission which is about transferring power from the submissive to the dominant. Just as an example, if a male requests to be whipped with a particular implement then that is a top/bottom situation and generally not a dominant/submissive interaction unless there is power exchange in some other way. However, if a male requests to be tortured within certain limits and the method is open to the determination of the torturer, then that is more in the realm of submission, although there is typically much more to submission than just torture and pain does not even need to be involved for submission. That said, I require the application of pain, as does Mistress.
A do-me sub often misleads a dominant into thinking that he would submit by indicating desires such as "I want you to dominate me" when in reality he does not want to be dominated at all and only wants to be topped. This creates frustration for some dominants such as Mistress and me because the mis-communication often causes us to spend time getting to know the potential sub only to find that the time was wasted. By contrast, when a bottom tells us up front that he is a bottom, Mistress and I respect this as may quickly move on and not waste time and effort.
There is nothing wrong with a male wanting specific things done to him and nothing wrong with calling himself a sub, even though in our view he is not submitting, but this is not the type of sub Mistress and I enjoy dominating and since in our view he is not submitting at all we do not consider him to be a "real" sub. We understand that "real" means different things to different people and we only use the word from our own perspective and opinion.
With the disclaimers out of the way, Mistress, I want to let you know that I was reluctant at first to follow through with this assignment. There was never a time when I felt that I wouldn't do as you indicated but I did not initially think that it would be an enjoyable experience. While at first I figured that it might be fun to break down a male into true submission or at least teach him a painful lesson, I did not think that it would realistically occur. Fortunately, I was wrong, very very wrong.
It was not an easy assignment, Mistress. We both receive plenty of messages from do-me subs and other males who are even less appealing so I had no shortage of potential candidates for this assignment. I began to look in detail at the messages and user profiles to attempt to identify my subject but I became numb and each male seemed similar to each other. I decided to choose the most outlandish male I could find who appeared to be a do-me sub and that was a mistake.
The male I chose named slave256225 sent me a picture of his cock. This is not unusual, Mistress, as you know, but what was particularly outlandish is that he spliced together a picture of an attractive woman making it appear that she was giving him a blowjob. Also, the shaft of his cock had a discontinuity and when I looked closer it appeared as though he had made his cock appear longer by doctoring the picture. What sealed it for me was his profile picture in which he had a look on his face attempting to be a debonair and mysterious figure but instead looked like he was acting in a comedy play, an effect which was clearly unintentional. I couldn't help but laugh.
I envisioned laughing at his face and making him feel very bad about himself but the reality of that thought did not appeal to me because I am not a mean person. Many subs, both do-me and real subs, ask me to be mean but that is not who I am. Still, the fantasy of completely humiliating the ridiculously outlandish slave256225 was exciting to me and I figured that since his presentation was so over the top there was a chance that he was a legitimately interesting person. I was wrong.
I quickly learned that slave256225 was about as boring as it gets. He was very clearly a do-me sub in my view but would not make a good subject because I needed to have at least some fun and I could never have any fun with slave256225. To get to know him I responded to his initial seven-word message, which he had included with the picture of his cock, with the message "Hi slave256225, you seem interesting, please tell me about yourself and feel free to go into detail."
I guess detail to slave256225 meant that he would expand his thoughts to a message of a whopping 31 words with almost all of them listing acts he would like done to his body. I didn't want to write him off completely so I wrote back asking him if there was anything else he could tell me about himself such as how much experience he had and whether or not he was looking for a long term relationship and the response I received told me all I needed to know. He wrote "No, nothing."
Back to the drawing board, I selected another male and found that he had the same problem with a lack of communication skills and I became discouraged. My next potential subject did not have that problem and he quickly opened up about many of the emotional problems he has had in his life. It was certainly too much information and I did not want to get involved with someone who apparently needed a significant amount of professional help so I politely indicated to him my hope that he gets help and his situation improves.
My next potential subject with the name HowAreYouDoing lasted longer than the first three. His responses were actually interesting and covered a wide range of subjects. He was very opinionated on many topics and while I did not agree with several of his views and I felt that he blew some issues out of proportion, his messages were interesting to read. He also was a do-me sub although he knew that that he was not a real sub.
I was considering taking on HowAreYouDoing as the subject of my assignment when I realized that his name was the opposite of his reality. He never cared for any of my opinions and usually did not even acknowledge that I had made a point. I didn't think much of it at first because his messages were interesting but after a few messages I felt more like a sounding board rather than a person and when I asked him whether he had read one of my sentences expressing my view he gave me a snippy response as if I had said something to anger him. With that red flag flying high, I ended our association.
I was discouraged to say the least, Mistress. I wanted to fulfill your assignment but I almost gave up because I didn't want to spend weeks communicating with males who would lead me down a garden path only to leave me empty-handed. Then I received a message from Peter10 "I want to be your slave, no limits."
Mistress, you and I have talked about the "no limit" males who just don't have a clue. It is just too easy to respond "If you have no limits then cut off your arm and send me a picture" but we both know that those males never learn and it only makes them think of us as mean. We don't want to be fodder for their fantasies and it's just best to ignore those messages completely.
I decided to take a different approach. I wrote back "Hi Peter10. If you would like to tell me something about yourself, maybe we could enjoy some time together. Please let me know. Take care." I expected to get no response or to get a response which didn't appreciate my non-dominant style but instead Peter10 wrote "Thank you, Ma'am, for writing back. I apologize for the impersonal first message. I am not sure where to start but I enjoy the following things" and he proceeded to give me his grocery list of things he would like done to him. He was personable and polite and was definitely a do-me sub, thinking that being a sub meant having these specific things done to him, so he seemed to be a good candidate as a subject for my assignment.
Mistress, I will fast forward past our exchanging personal photos, our long nice phone call in which we both agreed that we were looking for an ongoing play partnership but not a romantic or long term relationship or a one-time session, and our meeting at a coffee shop although I want to make it clear that I was up front about wanting a male who submitted to my authority and I would accommodate his needs as a compromise. At first he didn't understand the distinction I was trying to make between experiencing sensations such as whipping and real submission but it didn't take him long to get it and he understood that I was going away from my usual preference when I top him. I did not say that I would not dominate him in my own way so I did not lie to him, although I admit to withholding my main purpose for wanting to interact with him.
Peter also told me that he had some experience as a sub but when I asked for details he admitted that all of his experience was online only. I started to explain to him that there is a big difference between typing about what will occur, which is how he experienced online BDSM, and actually feeling it with your body and mind but I figured that it might hurt his confidence so I did not continue that discussion.
I decided that the best approach would be a slow one, first providing for all of his needs and desires and then later integrating my own desires. In part this was due to my own caution at the potential dishonesty of withholding my purpose from him and also due to my concern that I might lose him if I became dominant too quickly. So for our first brief playful encounter I played the role of a good do-me top and gave him a few of the things he wanted in the list he gave me. He wanted a longer session but I didn't want to top for long without any of the domination I enjoy so we agreed on a 30-minute session in his home. Mistress, I am sure that you do not want to know the details I had set up for what turned out to be an unnecessary safe call.
Peter did not own a flogger even though it was on his list of wanted activities so I brought my own pair of floggers. When I first brought out the heavy flogger I often use to begin a session, due to its being almost more of a massage than torture, Peter almost freaked out and I had to start with the smaller stinging sensation flogger instead. After just a minute of light warm-up flogging I started to put a bit more force into the blows, though not even more than one-half strength, and Peter began to squirm and groan as if we had been going for at least 5 minutes. Just about 10 seconds later he began yelling and then took his hands off the wall and moved away, unable to take more of the so-called pain. I shouldn't belittle Peter's pain threshold, it is not his fault and I wouldn't want someone to pretend to take more pain than they could, but I found it strange and somewhat frustrating that he specifically said that he wanted to be flogged on his back and yet he could barely take any of it.
If I did not have ulterior motives of completing this assignment, I might have ended the session but I forged on to the next activity on Peter's list. I picked up the light paddle he had set on a nearby table and as he lay face down on his bed and slid his underwear down, I paddled his cute little butt. Mistress, I neglected to mention earlier that one of the reasons I chose Peter is that he is a good-looking man, not a stud or outstanding, but he is my type from a physical standpoint. I was glad to learn that his butt was as cute as it seemed through his pants and took advantage by mixing in some bare hand spanks along with the paddling he had requested. Peter did not protest and seemed to enjoy the light spanking on his butt with the paddle and my hand.
I increased the amount of force and whacked his butt with increasing rapidity and while he squirmed and groaned in pain, he enjoyed it and did not move away. I decided to go outside of the playbook a bit again, this time whacking the back of one of his thighs a once with the paddle. All of the sudden, he acted as though I had placed electrodes inside his ass and he screamed and jumped up towards the front of the bed, facing me in fear but with his groin covered in modesty by blankets.
My first inclination was to laugh at how ridiculous this was, literally 1 whack from a flimsy paddle on his thigh caused him to jump as though he had been shot out of a cannon. And on top of that he was covering his groin as if he had never been seen before in his life. It was actually kind of cute. There is that word again, cute. I wanted to laugh and pinch his cheeks even though he is the same age as I am, 29.
But I didn't laugh. At times a person may have a trigger which might be from some memory from childhood or might just be a reaction for no reason. A trigger can cause a person to react with a great deal of unexpected emotion such as fear or anger. And that is no laughing matter whatsoever.
I didn't think I had any triggers, and Mistress I hope you forgive me for not telling you about this earlier but I just remembered it now, five years ago when I was in an amusement park there was an attraction which was pitch black inside and there was the noise of a monster approaching. I do not have any fear of darkness, noises, or monsters but for a few seconds I had a sudden fear and wanted to run away screaming. I suppressed my reaction and it passed after a few seconds but from the time you warned us about triggers I always took it to heart in part because I take everything you say to heart but also because triggers seemed scary from a philosophical standpoint.
Mistress, I don't know why I wanted to write about triggers in this report. Peter had not suffered a trigger. He had just suffered more pain than he wanted.
As Peter was backed up to the headboard of his bed, I said "What's wrong?" without a hint of a laugh. He replied "That hurt!" with some anguish in his voice. Now that really tested my ability to avoid laughing. I contained myself and said "I thought you wanted pain?" and he replied "Yes but that really hurt bad."
I was in the wrong because I had diverted from his script. On the one hand I was very disappointed because I wanted to transition to something fun but on the other hand I knew that Peter was the right male for this assignment. It would be a challenge to get Peter to submit to me the way I wanted and I was ready to accept the challenge.
I said to Peter "I am sorry. I really apologize. Are you okay?" Peter calmed down and allowed me to resume the session which I did exactly as he wanted. When we were done he thanked me for dominating him and asked me when we could next meet.
Mistress, at this point I learned why we truly do not like do-me subs. I felt used. Peter had little or no thought about what I might enjoy and it was not fun being a top without dominating, even topping a cute bottom on a cute bottom. I'm sure that Peter felt the illusion of being dominated because he used the words dominance and submission regarding his desires, but I did not feel dominant. In fact, I felt submissive because he told me what to do ahead of time and I did that. As you know, Mistress, I do not feel comfortable being submissive to anyone let alone to a male.
I felt used but I knew that the first session was a means to an end. I just hoped that the end would occur sooner rather than later.
Chapter 2: Scene
Before our second session I called Peter and asked if he would be okay with a role-playing scenario in which I would perform the acts he enjoyed. He liked this idea and we agreed upon a scene I suggested in which I was a teaching assistant where he used to go to college and his grade would depend upon my satisfaction. The scene still didn't seem appealing to me because I would be limited to exactly the narrow range of activities he wanted but at least it would be an improvement over the first session.
I ended up enjoying the scene somewhat and I enjoyed our third time together in which we role-played nurse and patient relying on me to release him from the hospital, a scene I suggested and Peter agreed to. I realized that due to Peter's inability to take more than a small amount of pain, in each scene there were a couple of times when the pain got too much and he lost control whether he screamed, jumped out of the way, or both. I got a real kick out of reaching that point and always stopped whatever was causing the pain. Plus Peter was an okay male, despite being self-centered, so I got some pleasure out of giving him what he wanted.
Before our fourth time together I asked Peter to come up with a role-playing scene he would enjoy and just from his reaction I could tell that this pleased him greatly. I realized that he had been shy earlier about telling me his fantasies even though he was not shy about telling me what was on his do-me list. Males are tough to understand sometimes but the effort is often very rewarding.
Over the phone Peter told me an elaborate story which would serve as our next role-playing scene. He clearly had thought of this before and I figured that he probably had many of these types of fantasies. I enjoyed talking with him about it and I added to what he had thought of. The stories seemed somewhat realistic. Also, I felt a tinge of power in that I had begun to break through his surface and was getting him to open up to me.
Many real subs have difficulty revealing their fantasies. Years ago I didn't understand why but the reason is clear to me now that subs and many others do not want to impose on someone to feel an obligation to do something so they are inhibited from revealing what they want. For example, if a sub wanted me to humiliate him with my feet and mentioned that to me, and much later I humiliated him with my feet, then the sub might feel as though I was under an obligation to humiliate him and the sub might feel guilty about it which would not be fun. That doesn't particularly apply to me, if I've been given consent to do something and if I want to do it then I'll do it or if I don't want to do it then I won't but the point is that the some subs don't want to impose their wishes on another. I wish the issue were not that complicated but for many subs I have encountered, it is an inhibiting factor in expressing their desires.
With that in mind I wanted to make sure to have fun with the fantasy. When I arrived in Peter's home I believe that my appearance exceeded his expectations. As you know, Mistress, I enjoy shopping and exotic clothes and this experience was a good combination of both. I found a woman who specialized in exotic belly-dancer outfits and she had in stock all of the pieces we needed to construct what Peter had described in detail.
Peter's mouth almost hung open as he gazed upon the "slave" he had won in a writing contest, as depicted in our role-playing enactment of his fantasy. Mistress, before the shock of surprise causes you to become worried, I was in no way submissive or a slave to this male and it was only at the start of the night that I played the role of slave. I started dancing for Peter and I admit that I was not very good at it, but as per the scene Peter had described I brought out a cloth and lunged at him, covering his face while holding his head in my arms.