Doctor Does Diesel Ch. 04bySatisfyable©
"That's the bathroom in there Diesel. Get some Kleenex if you need it."
"Yeah I fucking need it. I'm surprised I still have my front teeth. Goddamn!" Madison watched Diesel fling open the bathroom door and disappear inside. She'd turned off the intercom even though the worst had already been done for the audience right outside her door. Madison sat on her desk doubled over, anxiety coursing through her body. This was it. All her hard work, all of it, for naught. She was going to lose her job.
"Madison, are you okay?" Madison looked up as Diesel emerged from the bathroom, his face clean of the blood that had covered it only moments ago.
"No. I'm going to get fired. I'm going to lose my license. People are going to be looking at me as I clean out my desk, calling me a slut." Madison gasped as a sob snaked its way up her throat.
"Breathe Madison, how do you even know she heard us?"
"How did she miss it? The moment you came in here the conversation slid into inappropriate territory. We talked about last night--we argued--you fucked me. Shit!" Madison stood and began removing things from her desk in jerky movements.
"Listen, calm the fuck down."
"I can't go out there Diesel. I'm never leaving this office again. Everyone probably knows by now!"
"Madison, calm down, okay? Everything's gonna be fine. I'm going to go out there and take a peek, alright?"
"No!" Madison said in a strained whisper.
"Madison, what are we gonna do, live in here? One of us has to go out there and survey the situation. I've been through a lot harder shit than this could ever manage to be, I'll take care of it. Just sit there, put your shit back in your desk, and relax."
"Okay," she managed to squeak out. She watched him go through the door, and she tried to calm herself. She was a therapist after all, if she couldn't calm herself down she had no business trying to do the same for others.
Diesel closed the door softly behind him and stared at the empty desk just outside Madison's door. Everything looked just as it had when he came in, only the receptionist was nowhere to be found. Diesel took a sly inspection of the phone that sat ominously on the desk, and the red light pulsed steady and mocking. He waited, not exactly sure of what the next move was but he felt good about the fact that the receptionist was not at her post. He would've turned the intercom off himself but he had no clue how to do so and he didn't want to fuck anything up, so he continued to wait. He even took a seat in one of the cheap upholstered seats that lined the walls.
"Mr. Olsen? Oh gosh did you need something? Did you need to reschedule?" The receptionist barreled into the room with a bag of take out in her hand. "Is Dr. Attard still in there? Did she need me?" She seemed nervous and had apparently slipped out during he and Madison's--session.
"No, I was just waiting here," Diesel said. He released the breath he didn't even know he was holding as relief washed over him. "I was waiting here for you to get back, Lisa is it?"
"Yeah, Lisa." she said, a pleased look flickering across her face.
"I don't usually do things like this, but I stepped out to go to the bathroom and when I got back I hoped you'd be back. I just wanted to tell you that I thought you looked--nice today." Diesel said.
"Thank you, wow, thanks a lot." Lisa blushed and smiled. "You're pretty handsome yourself."
"Thanks. Well, I'd better be getting back in there," Diesel took a step toward the door.
"Well--should I give you my number or something?" Lisa twirled a strand of her straw blonde hair around her finger.
"Uh, yeah, but when I leave, I don't want to get you in any trouble."
"I won't get into any trouble, Dr. Attard is cool as hell."
"Uh, okay then," Diesel took her number which she scribbled on the back of one of Madison's cards. For the second time he went for the door.
"Wait!" Lisa barked.
"What now?" Diesel said, smiling quickly to cover the exasperated sound of his voice.
"Um, I can't just let you walk back in there, I need to you know, let her know you're on your way back in."
"Oh, okay." Diesel waited as Lisa pressed the intercom button. Madison's voice crackled over the line. He could hear the nervousness in her voice even through all the distortion. Diesel figured that even if Lisa had been sitting here the entire time she wouldn't have understood what the hell was going on anyway from the less than stellar sound quality.
"Dr. Attard, Mr. Olsen is back."
"Send him in Lisa." Diesel smiled weakly at Lisa who waved at him with a flutter of her eyelashes as he stepped back into Madison's office and closed the door behind himself.
"What happened?" Madison whispered as soon as he was seated in front of her once again.
"She wasn't at her desk. She snuck out to get some food apparently."
"Wow, her being a crappy receptionist finally paid off. Who would've thought!" Madison sighed, leaned back in her chair. "Oh, is your mouth okay?"
"Yeah, it wasn't as bad as it seemed, my bottom tooth just cut my lip a bit."
"Sorry again," Madison said.
"Well it's the price one pays for making a woman such as yourself come." Diesel said, a wicked smile sliding onto his face.
"Mmm, well I hope you enjoyed it," Madison said, giving him a wicked smile of her own.
"Oh I did," Diesel laughed, leaning toward her.
"Because it's the last fucking time you'll make a woman such as myself come. Now I'm going to have to ask you to leave, I want to catch a quick lunch and then I have a few evening appointments I need to prepare for."
"You heard me. Did you forget how you treated me when you got here? You come in here with alcohol on your breath and your bad attitude and your threats, and I'm supposed to forget all that cause you beat my cervix into submission, fuck that and fuck you. I don't need the added stress."
"I didn't know therapists had such dirty mouths," Diesel said standing. "But what did I expect from someone who--"
"Finish that sentence and I'll make sure the fucking Marine Corp kicks your ass out the moment you report back."
"You'd do that?"
"Try me asshole. I'm a nice girl Diesel, believe it or not. I broke a lot of rules with you, and I thought it was worth it because you made me feel amazing. But I won't be talked to like one of your giggly women who fall all over every word you say because you look good. I'll refer you to another doctor who can help you, and if you want to tell that doctor what we did feel free. I won't, however, be blackmailed." Madison picked up her purse from the floor beneath her desk and slid a pair of sunglasses over eyes.
"I'm sorry Madison, I just, I got scared. I didn't expect to find you, and you make me feel so--"
"Save it, Diesel. I have enough issues of my own, I don't need to add yours to the pile. Here's some professional advice, and it's the last I'll ever give you. When you like someone, you don't make them feel like shit. No matter what. We've all got problems and frailties and shortcomings, but its how we deal with them that makes us who we are and its how we well we treat others around us despite it all that makes us loveable. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a busy day ahead of me."
"Well don't let me stop you!" Diesel said. He stormed from the office, past a startled Lisa and out of the building. He could barely see straight. Anger and sadness battled in his stomach making his movements uncoordinated and clumsy. He fumbled his keys from his pocket and opened his car door. It was hot inside yet again, and the seats burned him through his clothes but he sat there and let that pain mix with the dull throb in his mouth. It distracted him. It stopped him from putting his fist through his windshield.
Madison made her way to the cafeteria, holding the sobs that kept rising from her throat at bay long enough to order a salad and a bottled water from the lunch counter. She found a table in the back of the cafeteria behind a bunch of leafy artificial plants. She stared at her salad and took one sip from her water before the tears broke free. She was the most unlucky woman in love. She'd once again opened her life--and her legs--to someone who didn't respect her. What did she expect though? Diesel was a patient. A patient with problems just like every other person who came through her doors. A lapse in judgment due to a weak period in her life had brought her to this place, yet again. It was almost ironic that she was a therapist. She had enough issues of her own to fill the Grand Canyon a million times over.
After she'd picked at her salad long enough she returned to her office. Lisa was at her desk and her eyes lit up when she saw her. "Hey, what was up with the dramatic exit that hot Marine made?"
"Hell if I know, he's crazy, remember?"
Diesel held his dick in his hand and closed his eyes tightly. He imagined the feel of her warmth encasing his shaft, and his fist began a slow steady up and down stroke that was a lame substitute for the real thing, but it would have to do. He came with his fingers to his nose, her smell still there, sweet but fading. He cleaned himself up and then was startled by the shrill chime of his cell phone and even though he didn't recognize the number, he answered it anyway with hopes that it was Madison.
"Hey there Cock Diesel!" A voice yelled over the line. Diesel sat up, his mind racing trying to place the voice. "I know you know who this is!"
"Sorry but I don't, and you should probably tell me right now before I hang the fucking phone up."
"That's Diesel, intense as a motherfucker! It's Bates, man, Archie Bates."
"Archie? Man you sound different. What's up man?" Diesel said. He tried to inject some excitement into his voice, but he didn't think he was doing that good of a job.
"Well, I heard from a few people that Staff Sergeant Diesel Olsen was back in Nevada, so of course I had to track you down."
"I'm not a Staff Sergeant any more Arch," Diesel said. "I'm Lance Corporal Diesel Olsen now."
"Yeah, I heard that too, but that shit happens to the best of us, and you'll always be my Staff Sergeant!" Archie said in his perpetually loud voice.
"Thanks man!" Diesel smiled despite himself. "So what's going on? Just wanted to check in or something?"
"Hell no! Do I sound like a girl? I'm calling because me and some of the boys are going out on the town tonight, and I want you to come as honorary guest."
"What? Archie, I don't think that's such a good idea. I had a bad day and I really just want to get some sleep."
"Fuck that. You're coming, even if I have to come and grab your ass up out of that hotel off the freeway that you're probably staying in."
"You know me so well Arch," Diesel said lighting a cigarette and shoving it into his mouth. "But that won't be necessary. Now that I think about it I could use a drink or two or three, where should I meet you?"
Madison ended a long day of horrible decisions by making what was probably the worst one of all, meeting Peter at what used to be their favorite spot. She had the ring in her purse but she still hadn't decided whether she was going to give it back to him or not. She'd arrived a half hour before he was due to clear her head and prepare herself for what promised to be another traumatizing experience. He arrived right on time, waving at her as soon as he came through the door.
"Hey there Madison, how are you?" he said once he'd made his way to her table. She stood and let him hug her, and she didn't even lose her lunch when he planted a dry kiss on her cheek.
"I've been better Pete, and you?"
"I've had better days myself," he said with a sober expression. "Look Madison," Pete sat across from her and loosened his tie, removed his cufflinks, "I'm so sorry about how everything went down. I didn't mean for you to catch me and--to catch me that way."
"Of course you didn't mean it. If you could have, you would have kept me in the dark for our entire marriage, right?"
"No Madison, that's not how it was!"
"You could have fooled me." A loud cheer rose up from the bar across the restaurant. A game was on the big screen and a group of guys sat crowded around the bar in front of it, rowdy and raucous.
"I forgot how loud and crazy it got here on Wednesday nights," Pete said. "Did you order this for me?" Pete said, picking up the martini and taking a sip.
"Yup, and I can't for the life of me how I didn't figure out that a man who liked Apple Martini's as much as you was as gay as the day is long."
"I know I hurt you. I know it. I just need for you to do me one more favor. If you ever loved me--"
"Excuse me!" Madison held a finger up to beckon the waitress to her table. The woman approached, her order pad at ready.
"Could I get another top shelf long island iced tea please?" The waitress nodded and disappeared, taking two of Madison's empty glasses with her.
"How many have you had Madison?"
"None of your fucking business, but even a blind man could see that I've apparently had two!" And right then their effects hit her, and she was grateful for it. Her body felt warm, her shoulders loosened. "And before I leave here, I plan to have at least three more."
"Madison, you don't even drink, what's gotten into you?"
"You don't want to know," she said. "So go ahead and ask me this favor so I can shut your ass down real quick."
"Okay, well, I know I hurt you," he began. "I know that you probably hate my guts right now," he continued despite the snort of a laugh that Madison uttered at that moment. "But I need you to come with me to a charity event my partners are throwing. They don't know that we split up, and--"
"They also have no clue that you're a homosexual, am I right? You need me to be your beard for the night? Is that it? Or is your Latin lover boyfriend too busy getting his chest waxed to make it?"
"Please? Please? You fucking wasted two years of my life!" Madison smiled at the waitress as she sat her drink in front of her. She downed the drink in less than five minutes, and when she caught sight of the waitress again, she beckoned for another.
"Madison, you should probably slow down," Pete said. "You're being loud and people are staring."
"Pete, please take this opportunity to do what you've never done before, and kiss my ass. I'm going to the bathroom. Order yourself a fucking daiquiri or something while I'm gone." Madison got to her feet and then sat back down as the world shifted before her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Pete asked.
"Don't pretend like you give a fuck, okay?" Madison stood again, more prepared this time for the disorientation of her marked drunkenness. With considerable effort, she made her way through the throngs of people crowding the restaurant to the bathroom.
"Whoa, honey you are fucking gorgeous!" said a tall handsome black man who jumped into her path as soon as she passed the bar. "What is your name!"
"Madison," she slurred, offering him her hand which he took and kissed.
"Madison, beautiful name for a beautiful lady. Hey, me and my boy are about to get out of here and head out to the club. You should come along. I'll buy all your drinks and make it a night you'll never forget as long as you live!"
"Sweetie thanks, but I've had enough memorable nights already to last me a lifetime," Madison said with a shake of her head.
"Whoa, if I am not mistaken, I think there's a case of the sad's going around Reno tonight. You sound just like my friend. He's being a total downer too, man! Shit, here he comes now, get over here man!" The man who approached them was tall, broad, well muscled. Madison couldn't see his face through the group of men standing and milling about in front of her.
"Oh, my name's Archie by the way," Madison shook his hand again, and smiled up at him. His good natured disposition was slowly thawing her icy mood, but the thaw stopped cold, so to speak, when she finally came face to face with Archie's friend.
"Madison, I'd like you to meet Diesel Olsen. This is one bad mothafucka, well, usually. He's on the outs tonight for reasons he won't disclose, but he's one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet."
Madison waited for Diesel to make the first move. They stared at one another, their gazes empty, their body language neutral. "Hi, I'm Diesel, nice to meet you," Diesel held out his hand and Madison stormed past him, leaving both men staring after her, but only one appeared to be confused.
"Whoa, what does she not like white people?" Archie joked. He tipped his beer to his lips. "She was all for it before you came over here."
"What was she all for?" Diesel asked, trying to keep his voice neutral.
"I asked her to come to Hot Spot with us, and she didn't say no. Then you come up and she storms off like a bat out of hell." Archie smiled at Diesel, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "No worries though, the hot ones are always a little crazy. When she comes back by I'll snatch her up yet." Archie returned to his seat at the bar, and Diesel told him that he needed to get tissue to blow his nose. He ignored the napkin that Archie held out to him and barreled after her.
"Still mad?" he asked once he caught up with her. She was lingering outside of the women's bathroom as if she were waiting for him. She was still wearing the button up and black linen pencil skirt she'd had on earlier, but she'd replaced her simple black heels with a pair of wedge sandals. Diesel's eyes lingered at her toes, their nails painted black, a ring on the third toe. He hadn't noticed the ring earlier and he wondered if she'd put it on special to come out tonight.
"Yes I'm still mad," she said to him. Her words sounded thick and lazy. She was drunk. "I'm always going to be mad. Forever," she spun clumsily on her heels and tried to make a grand escape into the safety of the women's bathroom but Diesel reached out and grabbed her arm.
"Let go of me, you didn't even claim me out there. You acted like you didn't know me. If you're trying to get back into my good graces denying me in public after you spent half the night fucking my brains out is not the way," tears sprang from her eyes. "Listen, it's not your fault. I'm the stupid one. I'm the one who let some wayward soldier drill me. I'm the one who caught feelings."
"Madison please. The only reason I didn't act like I knew you out there is because I didn't want Archie to start asking questions. I didn't--I didn't want him to know that I was in therapy. I'm supposed to be this bad ass with nerves of steel and shit. I feel embarrassed about my problems. I feel embarrassed that I lost it, and more than anything, I don't want to have to talk about it all."
"Oh God Diesel I'm sorry. I didn't even think about that. That's something I should've picked up on, I mean, of course you didn't want your friends to know. Getting therapy still holds such a stigma--" Madison shook her head. "Okay, I forgive you for that, whatever, but this afternoon, you were a dick, Diesel. You made me feel like shit, and the fact that you are capable of that scares me."
"It shouldn't scare you Madison, I was wrong. I made a big mistake. I was being immature. Madison, I--I caught feelings too. I caught them and I didn't know what to do with them. I lashed out. But I will never pull anything like that again."
"Even if I believe you. Even if I decided to forgive you and let you back into my good graces, what's the point? You're leaving really soon. I talked to your first sergeant today and he wants me to send him an evaluation by the end of the week. He really needs you to be in Germany. He said that the unit you're joining is due to deploy to Afghanistan in a month, and that unit's commander wants you with them."