Don't Ask, Don't Tell, Just Pray

A group of worshipers do more on a summertime religious retreat than just pray.

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"Amen."

Here's a summertime story for all those people that receive a hard time from their spouses about spending too much time on the computer reading pornography. By reading my story, not only can you say that you're reading a religious story but also that you're doing a spiritual act by voting me a 5 vote. Amen and God bless you.

"Hallelujah! Blessed it be to God. May Jesus Christ, the Lord Almighty shine down upon you," said Reverend Dick , a Steve Martin look-a-like, to his congregation in a loud enough voice that reached the last pew.

A good man, a holy man, an honorable man, he was a horny man. He looked out upon his worshipers and smiled. Along with some new faces, there were some fine looking women in his house of worship today, mighty fine foxes, yes sir. Praise the Lord for delivering me these fine foxes, he said silently to himself.

"Hallelujah! Glory be to God. I see some new sinners here today and I welcome you to our congregation. Welcome," he said looking at each and every new face and clasped his hands, while smiling and nodding at them.

"Welcome," responded his congregation in unison.

"As most of you know, my lovely wife, Sister Katherine, and I have been taking religious retreats for the past few years each summer," he said looking down at his wife, before looking out upon his congregation. "This year, the dates of the retreat run from August 23rd to August 29th. For those of you who don't know, we have a little cabin, a private oasis, a secluded spot deep in the forest in the Woodcamp Campgrounds, close to the Jackson Meadow Reservoir on route 7, off of route 89. We'd like to invite those who'd like to be alone with nature and to commune with God to join us for a week of peace, love, relaxation, recreation, and rejuvenation. The fee for the week is a nominal $1,000 a couple to cover lodging expenses, which includes all food and beverages. For those who are interested, we have room available enough for six additional couples, besides ourselves."

A man sitting a few pews back raised his hand to speak and the Reverend acknowledged him with a nod of his head and a point of his index finger. The man stood to address the Reverend and the congregation.

"Hi Reverend Dick. I'm John."

"Welcome Brother John," said the Reverend.

"Welcome Brother John" said the congregation in unison.

"My wife, Crystal, and I," he said looking down to smile at his wife. He reached out his hand to have her stand beside him. "We've new to your congregation and have never been on a religious retreat, but would like to attend. Your cabin in the woods sounds just what we've been hoping to find. Wanting to bond with nature and experience all that is good and holy, we seek a more deeply moving experience in our lives. What are the retreats like, Reverend Dick?"

Crystal, very blonde, very beautiful, and very shapely, was just the type of worshiping follower and retreat attendee that the good Reverend was hoping to attract. Her beauty swelled more than his Christian spirit. As would a father innocently do with his daughter, he imagined her on her knees and putting his hand to the back of her head (get your mind out of the gutter), as she prayed.

"Welcome Sister Crystal," he said smiling at John's lovely wife, while thinking, thank you, Jesus, thank you, Jesus, Lord Almighty, thank you, sweet Jesus.

"Welcome Sister Crystal," said the congregation.

"Please allow my wife, Sister Katherine, to answer your question, Brother John. Sister Katherine," said Reverend Dick to his wife. "Would you do me the honor of explaining our religious retreat activities to Brother John and Sister Crystal," he said stepping aside to allow her to take the podium.

Sister Katherine, called Kitty Kat behind closed doors, a Julia Roberts twin, was a bit older but, with softer features and a smaller nose, was prettier than the Academy Award winning actress. She climbed the steps to address the congregation.

"Welcome Brother John. Welcome Sister Crystal. Welcome all new members to our congregation," she said smiling at them both, before looking out to greet all the new members. "It's a week of getting away from your job, your routine, and your children," said Sister Katherine, a bi-sexual, who had love enough for everyone, whether man or woman. "It's a week of solitude to take for yourself and for your religion, while bonding with nature with those in our group and with God."

"Amen," said the congregation.

"I dare say that, since you've never been on a religious retreat, it's a life changing and mind altering experience," said Sister Katherine looking a bit taken with Brother John and his wife Crystal and giving them both a smile and a wink. If she was going to blow them a kiss, this would have not been the best time to do that being that she was in church and about to embark on a religious retreat.

"Hallelujah," responded those, who have experienced one of Reverend Dick's religious retreats.

"Reverend Dick and I feel blessed when we are there and cleansed upon our return," said Sister Katherine. "For truly, it is a deeply moving experience," she said looking from Brother Bob and Sister Crystal to her husband. "Wouldn't you agree Reverend Dick that our religious retreat is a deeply moving experience?"

"Deeply moving," said Reverend Dick, while thinking that deeply moving eight inches was just about right.

"We welcome your participation and we hope you and your wife will join us," said Sister Katherine.

"Yes, the retreat sounds wonderful," said Brother John to Sister Katherine. He smiled at Reverend Dick and put a loving arm around his wife. He looked at his wife and she nodded her head in agreement. "Please add us to the list of attendees."

"Splendid," said Reverend Dick clasping his hands together, as if he was about to fall to his knees and thank God for the arrival of Sister Crystal in his life. Sister Katherine climbed down from the podium and Reverend Dick took center stage again. "I have room for five more couples. The list is posted by the inside front door. Whoever else is interested, I suggest you act fast. With the limited room we have at the cabin, the spaces fill very quickly."

Raymond and Tiffany, a couple who had been taking the religious retreat for several years and who couldn't seem to get enough of bonding with nature, with God, and with one another in the deep forest, were the next couple to sign the list. Tiffany, another tall, striking, busty blonde, looked more like a stripper than she did a holy roller. Especially when coming up from behind her, looks can be deceiving when a beautiful woman is on her knees. It's difficult to tell if she's kneeling before a holy man and praying to God or kneeing before a lucky man and sucking his cock. Amen.

Bob and Amanda, Mandy to her friends, attendees from last year, were next to add their names to the list. Mandy was a petite and very pretty redhead with proud, big breasts and sparkling blue eyes. They attended the retreat for the first time last year and had an amazing experience that deepened the love they shared for one another and for the others in the congregation, who attended the religious retreat last year.

Committed members to the congregation but new to experiencing the retreat, Connie and Vinnie added their names to the list, too. Connie, a dark haired, brown eyed beauty, was as Italian as her husband. With room for just two more couples on the religious retreat list, lifelong friends Debbie and Diane and their husbands, Walter and Peter, added their names to the list to complete the seven couple capacity. New members to Reverend Dick's Church of New Age Communion and Private Confessions, Debbie and Diane were, as affable and funny, as they were short and round. The complete opposite attendees to those attractive, tall, and fit couples that generally attend the religious retreats of this Californian church, everyone was accepted in Reverend Dick's Church, albeit, by the outward appearance of so many attractive and sexy worshipers, some were more accepted than were others.

Reverend Dick and Sister Katherine's cabin was tucked away inside the confines of the Tahoe National Forest, a very large protected preserve that runs parallel from the western border of California to the eastern most part of Reno, Nevada. Not a typical religious experience, this religious retreat would prove to be fun, inspiring, and a bit shocking, nonetheless, to those who have never attended one of Reverend Dick and Sister Katherine's religious retreats. Still, if only to take a break from the routine of life for a week, to take in the beautiful landscape and walk the private paths beneath the lush canopy of trees, while communing with nature, the week at the cabin was well worth the thousand dollar room and board fee.

The first day at the retreat was a day for everyone to experience as a group and everyone appeared so happy to be there. Those who were new to the retreat and those who were new to Reverend Dick's congregation used the day to become better acquainted with one another. Love and brotherhood and sisterhood to all was in the air.

They sat on the floor on oversized pillows in a circle in the large common area of the cabin. All in good spirits, happy to be out of their routines and to experience the fresh, beautiful air, they were all excited to be there. They introduced themselves to one another and shared their reasons for joining the church and for attending the retreat.

"Let's hear from someone new first," said Reverend Dick, while looking to the new members.

"I'll go first, said Bob. "Crystal and I gave up on religion, until my job transferred me from the rush and craziness of the east coast to California. Everyone is so nice out here and we both felt relaxed enough to want to become more spiritual. California is known for that, so where better to start a new way of life by getting in tune with our inner selves than here where no one knows us? We were tired of our little routine of staying to ourselves and were looking forward to sharing more of ourselves with others."

"Amen," said those who had attended the religious retreat before.

"Thank you, Brother Bob. That was well put and exactly how Sister Katherine and I felt, when we started our little church. While safely sequestered in the eyes of God, wanting to experience people not only spiritually, but emotionally and physically, we were ready to embrace everyone who walked through our door. Who wants to go next to introduce yourself and tell us why we're here?"

The new couples took turns introducing themselves and they all echoed Bob's sentiments in looking for more to believe in than just a daily routine of work and television. The other couples, who were members of Reverend Dick and Sister Katherine's congregation longer, reinforced all that their spiritual leader said. Tired of walking their paths alone, tired of looking for the reason for their existence, and disappointed when not finding the answers that gave them a reason to be more spiritual, they all wanted more. Not satisfied with what they had, hungry for more, they all wanted to experience something new and something that could them get excited about living life again. They all wanted something that they could accept and believe in to take deep within their minds and their bodies in a physical, emotional, and spiritual way.

A day spent communicating one's feelings, the atmosphere was calmly relaxing. Just before breaking for lunch, the reverend addressed the group. Awe inspiring, it was a moving moment, when the reverend stood to speak. Except for the sound of the birds that came through the screened windows of the cabin, everyone was quiet waiting to hear the holy words and the words of wisdom of their spiritual leader.

"Well, now that everyone knows everyone's name and a little more about one another, I'd like to take our little group to the next level," said the Reverend standing and looking from person to person.

He started removing his clothes as he continued talking. Sister Katherine stood and started removing her clothes as well. Were these not holy people, what they were doing by undressing would have been shocking and disconcerting, at the very least.

"Reverend, what are you doing?" Sister Diane looked to her best friend, Sister Debbie and they both laughed an uncomfortable laugh at what they, no doubt, would happen next.

"What am I doing? I'm glad you asked, Sister Diane. I'm doing an exercise in faith in me and in ourselves, there is little to hide, when we stand naked in front of our fellow man and woman," he said smiling at Crystal, "and in front of God," he said looking to his wife, while removing his shirt, his pants, his underwear, and his socks, until he was standing before the group as naked as was his wife was soon about to be.

Crystal, Connie, Debbie and Diane stared at Reverend Dick's dick, while John, Vinnie, Walter, and Peter watched, as Sister Katherine removed her bra to expose her abundant breasts and removed her panties to show her bushy pussy. Already knowing what to expect, Raymond, Tiffany, Bob, and Mandy, having attended a religious retreat before, were next to stand and strip. Looking from one naked person to another, it was obvious that the four other couples, new to the atypical retreat didn't know where to look first. Then, John nodded to his wife, Crystal, and they both stood to remove their clothes, too. Not wanting to be out of step with the rest of the group, no doubt, next to stand and strip naked were Vinnie and Connie.

Only Debbie and Diane, self-conscious, no doubt, in front of the other women who possessed better bodies, hesitated in removing their clothes. Perhaps because of their obese bodies, they were reluctant to remove their clothes. Yet, encouraged and accepted, instead of being pressured and ridiculed, by the group to get naked, they were made to feel comfortable and as one in the eyes of the Lord and in the company group of worshipers. They finally stood and stripped, too, after their husbands, Walter and Peter, stood and stripped naked, also.

"Now that we are the way we came into this world, Glory be to God," said Reverend Dick. "Please join hands and pray. Dear Lord, bless this group of sinners. Allow us to use this week for insight and clarity to guide us down the chosen paths we all must take to get to the same place, Heaven. Amen."

"Amen," said the group in unison.

Now, all seven couples stood naked before God or, if God wasn't there, before one another. A non-sexual but liberating experience, after a while, everyone forgot they were naked. Now with nothing, literally, to hide, exposing oneself was, indeed, a freeing experience. Without doubt, their nakedness allowed them to bond closer by allowing them to say whatever was on their mind in the same way that removing their clothes allowed them not to feel self-conscious about their bodies. Now that the issue of them being naked was no longer an issue, now that their sexuality was out of the way of their worshiping God and loving their neighbor, they were free of all that interfered with who they really were inside. When they cooked, they donned an apron and when they sat, they placed a small towel to sit upon. For the most of their week, they were naked in front of one another and in front of God.

Even if they wanted to don clothes, those who wanted to swim in the lake or walk the forest or just hang out in the cottage were free to do whatever they so wanted. It was a relaxing day. It wasn't until that evening, after supper, when the real religious and a deeper, meaningful experience began.

"I've placed the men's names in this box," said the Reverend to the women. "If you pick the name of your husband, you may replace their name and draw again. Every evening we will draw names, until we have experienced everyone in a Biblical sense. For us to all live in a spiritual way, it's important that we commune with all in every humanly way possible. For us to truly know one another, just as we are not connected spiritually, we must get closer to one another physically and emotionally to experience the true essence of who we are as human beings."

The Reverend looked around the room, looking longer at the new attendees, especially Crystal. It was obvious by his leers that he was enamored with Crystal and was hoping to fill her with his excitement for life, love, and religion. As if she was his chosen one, he wanted to personally show her the way. In all the years he's had this religious retreat, he's never had a couple reject his preaching and leave, and it was no different this year. Everyone excepted his gospel as their word and as their way to salvation. Sister Diane was the only worshipper to voice her protest.

"It's one thing for me to get naked in front of everyone, but I've never slept with anyone other than my husband," said Sister Debbie looking from Reverend Dick's dick to all the other men's dicks. "I'm nervous. I'm not sure if I can do this," she said turning red and folding her arms across her exposed breasts. A good sign that her nipples were erect, either she was cold or excited. What some may have mistaken as horniness, she looked hotly uncomfortable by the nudity.

"Unless you want it to be," said Sister Katherine with assurance, "this is not a sexual experience but a religious one. Just because you are naked and behind closed doors with a man, who is not your husband, doesn't mean you are obligated to have sex with him. No means no. Further, we don't refer to sharing ourselves with one another behind closed doors as sex, but as love for our fellow human beings and our physical expression to become closer emotionally and spiritually."

"I see," said Sister Debbie. "So, I don't have to give whoever's name that I draw from the box a hand job or a blowjob, while he fucks me silly with his big, hairy cock, and sucks my tits."

"Certainly, that's one way to graphically say it, but we more believe that what we do at this religious retreat is a way for us to bond with one another. By showing our love for one another physically and emotionally is our way of translating our spiritual love for one another. It's more than just a description of body parts and sexual acts. As I said before, you don't have to share your body with another. You could talk, meditate, give or receive a massage, pray, sleep, as well as make love. To us, whatever you do is all the same. Yet, if you want to experience the body, as well as the spirit of another, that is totally up to you and will never be discussed by any of us. If you feel the spirit move you, then you do what comes natural. You can do any and all of those things. The important thing is to reflect, relax, and rejoice."

"I see," said Sister Debbie. "I'm sorry, it all sounds like a crock of shit to me but, I don't want to be a party pooper, so I'll pick first," she said drawing Reverend Dick's name, of all people.

Crystal was next and drew Vinnie. Tiffany drew Walter. Amanda drew John. Connie picked Peter. Katherine picked Bob. Diane, last to take a name, picked Raymond. With all the couples matched up with new spiritual partners, they went through the rest of their evening uneventfully.

Then, promptly at 10pm, they all retired to separate bedrooms with their drawn partners. New to the religious retreat experience, Crystal and Vinnie spent a couple of hours sitting in bed talking, before he kissed her. She didn't resist his kiss and even kissed him back. Then, as if horny teenagers at a prom, their hands explored one another's body, before Crystal took Vinnie in her mouth. Once hard enough, locked in a lover's embrace, they experienced one another as one, while making love. It was a beautiful thing.