Embracing Chaos Ch. 02

"You are free to enjoy the evening without fear or guilt. I will love you just the same tomorrow. No matter what."

Those were the words spoken by Gary to his wife, Samantha, late Wednesday afternoon. Samantha had spent the better part of an hour preparing for a blind date with the mysterious and oddly-named Crue. They were to meet at a local Mexican restaurant at six o'clock. Samantha had been fidgeting all day. She didn't enjoy balancing out her own desires for the evening with the weight of her husband's feelings. She didn't really know what she wanted out of this encounter, but she felt too many extraneous things weighing on her - what the "right" thing to do might be, what might hurt her husband or even herself and where the encounter would lead in the ensuing days and weeks. It was very confusing.

Those words, memorized clumsily by her husband all day and spoken with sincerity as Samantha left for her date, calmed her down. Strangely, she felt a wave of love for her husband then - he understood and would not judge her. She was reminded of the couple they had talked to about open marriages. They made it work and they loved each other. Then again, most couples break up trying. This crazy 'experiment' might work or it might not, but no permanent damage would be done. She could focus now on the evening ahead and maybe even enjoy herself. Maybe.

Gary was more unsure than he let on, but he wanted to set the right tone. He struggled for days trying to figure out the right thing to say to comfort Samantha. Gary had been, in many ways, the instigator of the open marriage concept and felt responsible for getting their first experience off properly. Gary, however, was also nervous. He was already jealous that - somehow - Samantha was to have sex outside the marriage first.

Samantha hugged her husband tightly, kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave.

"I love you," Samantha whispered one last time. Gary returned the sentiment.

Samantha left for her date. The whole thing felt surreal.

- - - - - - - - -

"Can I ask why they call you Crue?"

Samantha asked the question after an awkward handshake in the restaurant lobby. They were told that there might be a twenty minute wait for a table, a small surprise for a Wednesday night. They stood and waited together, trying to make small talk and avoid other people entering the restaurant. Hopefully, the food would be worth the wait.

Crue looked down at Samantha - he was almost a foot taller - and smirked. "Not a fan of hard rock, are ya?"

"Oh, Crue's a nickname for a musical group? What was that group again? Def Crue?" Samantha smiled knowingly. She had no idea if he would get the joke.

"Motley Crue," he responded, showing off a tattoo on his right arm with the band's name. "Maybe the best band of all time. In my opinion."

"I know. I was teasing."

"Sassy. That's cool. I got the tattoo when I was nineteen. I got the nickname right after."

"Are you still a fan?"

"Oh yeah, but not obsessed like I was. I've thought of having it removed, but what the hell. It was an interesting part of my life."

Crue had dressed well for the occasion - short sleeve white button-up shirt, red tie with a subtle pattern in the background and navy slacks. She noted that Crue didn't appear comfortable - he was a tall, strong man who carried himself with confidence, but didn't seem like the shirt and tie kind of guy. The short sleeves showed off his build. He was obviously a man who enjoyed working out. She wondered if she could wrap both of her hands around his bicep and then thought maybe she would get the chance to find out. She bit her lip and smiled.

Samantha, on the other hand, wore a flowing blue summer dress. With her long blonde hair pulled back with clips and a flashy bracelet on her right wrist, she looked both innocent and feminine. A smooth layer of red lipstick completed the image.

"You're a very beautiful woman," Crue stated matter-of-factly. "This whole thing must be very strange for you."

"Thank you. Yeah. I admit...I'm nervous."

"No pressure at all. Let's just have fun." Crue was self-assured, but not arrogant. His charm was part animal magnetism and part friendly companion. Crue's method for seducing women boiled down to three basic tenets. Show genuine interest. Make her feel attractive. Above all else, make her feel safe. He understood that Samantha's situation was inherently stressful; he went the extra mile to show that she could take a risk tonight without fear.

Samantha thanked him for being understanding and the conversation continued. Samantha felt the urge to explain her marital situation, including details about their possible open marriage and how they had arrived at the date this evening, but Crue wasn't interested.

"I want to hear about you," Crue said, redirecting the conversation. "Tell me about yourself."

"Well, huh," she began quietly. "What do you want to know? I'm an elementary teacher, part time. I love reading. I love cats. I love hiking sometimes. I love travel."

"Oh, that's too bad. I hate all of those things."

Samantha laughed. Okay, this guy might be pretty cool, she thought.

Samantha relaxed. Crue was a very good listener. This was not an act on Crue's part. Yes, he knew how to make a woman feel at ease, but he also was genuinely interested in Samantha. She was a shy little creature who needed an opportunity to open up. He enjoyed the feeling - and even the power - of providing her the opportunity to do so.

Samantha knew she would spend the evening with him. If he wanted. It seemed that simple. No mind games. She became flirtatious, and they finally held hands from across the table. Crue invited Samantha back to his home. She said yes.

Crue liked Samantha a lot - but he knew that his efforts this evening, all geared toward pleasing Samantha, might be problematic for her in the near future. He almost felt sorry for her husband.

- - - - - - - - - - -

"Turn the TV on or something," Gary requested of his friend, Kent, who had ordered a large supreme pizza from a local delivery chain. "I need the distraction. I hate the anticipation and shit."

"Sure," Kent said. "Now, let's see, what exactly does a person watch while their wife is getting laid?"

"We don't know if that'll happen tonight or not."

"Uh huh. Here we go. Pro wrestling."

Gary hated pro wrestling, but he nodded anyway. He didn't care. His mind was elsewhere. The TV was just a distraction. He wondered what was happening with his wife. He told himself over and over that she should have fun. He wondered if this is always how it was with open marriages - one person out having fun, the other sits wondering. No, probably not, he decided. They must get used to it over time. It would be no big deal after awhile.

"You okay?" Kent asked.

"Yeah. I think so."

- - - - - - - - - - -

"You've got an interesting home," Samantha told Crue. "It could use a woman's touch, though."

Crue's home was a classic bachelor pad. Not messy per se, just not well planned out. A small refrigerator sat in the living room, along with a set of hand weights and a boom box. There was a large sofa against a window, but no television. A large military poster displaying a Black Hawk helicopter was the only true decoration.

"It is what it is."

On the sofa, Samantha and Crue sat close, talked and touched playfully. Her hand on his thigh. His hand brushing her hair slowly. She smiled up at him, big bright blue eyes signaling that it was okay for him to go further. He leaned in and kissed her. She melted into the kiss. So nice.

"You're okay?" Crue whispered, looking directly into her eyes. He brushed her cheek with his thumb.

"Oh yes," she answered softly. "I want this."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. Besides, this needs to happen. You're a great guy. Perfect to spend tonight with."

It's been forever since I have felt excited like this, she considered adding, but didn't. This would have been an insult to her marriage. Yet, she remembered the many years of career building, yard work, financial planning, PTA meetings and chores. Those responsibilities were rewarding, but stripped her of any sexual identity. Tonight, a flame burned inside of her once again. Oh, how she missed this.

Crue kissed Samantha with more urgency, lips and tongues dancing together. His strong hands began to explore, but he did so with great tenderness. He massaged her as their kisses continued. Samantha felt very girlish, very weak in comparison, but Crue was masterful in his touch. He knew how to be both powerful and gentle. Both confident and warm. He would take care of her and make sure she was okay.

His hand cupped her breast. She sighed and was hit by a wave of guilt. His hands felt good and she wanted more, but she belonged to another man...I have a husband...this feels wrong...so wrong...

And yet I want to give myself to this man. Totally.

"No fear or guilt," Gary had told her earlier.

Yes. She remembered. She had permission to let go. To enjoy this man.

The thought intoxicated her and she reached to feel the thick bulge growing in his slacks. She found it right away - not difficult when the erection underneath was substantial. She rubbed her fingers along his cock as he pulled one strap of her sundress down around her shoulders. Her right breast was exposed. Crue licked her nipple and pulled it inside of his mouth. Samantha ran her hand through his hair. My God, this is so good, she thought.

She was aroused by just how childishly curious her lover was. Her body was new to him. Unexplored territory. Crue stripped Samantha down piece by piece and studied everything about her - how her belly curved, the hardness of her nipples, the way her long blonde hair spilled across her shoulders. Samantha wanted to be taken. She wanted to be opened up.

He fingered her slit open and softly flicked his tongue across her opening. Samantha's legs trembled and she jerked momentarily. She stopped herself from stopping him, and instead she spread herself wider and allowed herself to be consumed. Crue was hungry for her. His tongue moved easily around her wet lips, alternating between the juicy hole and the more sensitive spots. Samantha kept herself open for him and covered her face to hold back the waves of pleasure.

What would her husband say if he was here, watching her being eaten like this? Her cold, logical side was completely at bay and she found herself thinking - and hoping beyond hope - that he would be happy for her and turned on. Wouldn't that be amazing? Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Crue was hard and ready. He removed his slacks and his boxers and positioned himself to enter Samantha, but Samantha wasn't ready. She stopped him, leaned forward on the sofa, and held his erection firmly at the base. She discovered that her hand just barely reached around completely. This is a thick, powerful cock, she noted. She looked at her lover's cock. I want this inside me.

Her lover.

That's what she was thinking. The words tantalized her. Was this really her lover? For tonight, yes, this man was her lover.

She sucked on her lover's erection, allowing her tongue to study the shape of his head and taste the sweet drop of liquid that had formed at the tip. She could not take all of him into her mouth, so she adapted by running her tongue up and down the sides and finally along the sensitive area underneath. He moaned deeply, told her how good it felt. She loved preparing her lover's cock. Inside, she beamed. My lover. Wow.

But I am a married woman. I am married to Gary. I love Gary. The thoughts surfaced at the most inopportune times.

"No fear or guilt."

Yes. No guilt. I have my husband's permission to suck on my lover's cock. I can't believe it.

"I will love you just the same tomorrow."

Yes. I will suck on my lover's cock. I will fuck him. I will enjoy it and my husband will love me just the same. Samantha was walking on air.

She spread her legs wide and directed Crue's thick cock inside of her. Her entire body tingled. Once deep inside, Crue took over completely, fondling her breasts and running his fingers through her hair as he worked back and forth. His cock felt good inside her. She laid her hands upon his chest - his strong, toned chest - and allowed herself to be fucked by her new lover. She was spread so wide. It felt so good.

Her new lover. It was okay for her to have a new lover. No, not just okay - it was anticipated.

"Enjoy the evening." Her husbands words.

Her legs spread, her new lover thrusting ever deeper inside. She looked at her Crue warmly. She wanted him. He wanted her. She loved the feel of his cock in her mouth and deep inside her. She loved his huge hands on her body. She loved how he enjoyed her.

But the part that sent Samantha over the edge, beyond reason to the edge of insanity, was her husbands words. Over and over again, they entered her head.

"You are free to enjoy the evening," he had said.

"Oh fuck yes," Samantha said aloud as Crue slid easily inside her. Crue had grabbed Samantha's hair now, held her back to the couch and was thrusting madly. He was ready. So was Samantha. Her husband's words encouraged and pushed her. Relieved of the burden of guilt, she melted into the experience.

So close to an orgasm. So close.

"Ohhhhhh...yesssss...."

This is intense, she said to herself. Powerful. Amazing.

"Withour fear or guilt," her husband had said.

"Yessssssss...."

"I will love you just the same tomorrow."

My lover is fucking me, she thought and my husband will still love me. No matter how deep my lover fucks me, no matter how strong or handsome he is, no matter how powerful the orgasms, no matter how good this feels, my husband will love me.

"No matter what."

With those words, she came. She couldn't hold back any longer. The slow buildup had become a deep tingle in her that needed to be satisfied. Her body arched forward, she grabbed her lover's chest, scratched him, tried to push him deeper inside.

"Oh....ohhhh....fuck....fill me....that's it....fuck me....fill me....I want your come deep in me...."

Samantha almost never talked during sex. She found it distracting, but she was reacting so strongly she needed an outlet, something, anything, to release what she was feeling. Crue had not yet come and did not stop. Sweaty and tired, she eased back into the couch and Crue kept up his frenetic back and forth motions inside of her. She looked down, saw his moist cock split her lips wide and enter her repeatedly, and finally she closed her eyes and locked hands with Crue. He continued unabated.

To her surprise, she had another orgasm. It came from nowhere and was not expected but felt so good. She thought she was probably a sloppy wet mess down below now. My lover doesn't care.

Samantha enjoyed a third deep orgasm as Crue finally exploded in a final series of thrusts. Yes, my lover, fill me, she thought. Fill me with your come. She heard him moan deeply and felt his liquid pouring out.

"Fuck yes, baby," Crue said as he came. "You're...so...fucking...hot."

She felt her lover's fluid leak down her legs and butt. Crue eventually collapsed on top of Samantha, his erection still many inches deep inside.

"You're husband is a very lucky man," Crue said.

"Yes, he is," she giggled.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Gary had left his friend and went for a walk. Kent had asked one last time if he was okay. Gary reassured him once again and left.

Gary wasn't upset or nervous. In fact, Gary didn't seem to feel much at all. He wandered the neighborhood, cursing himself for being so distracted. The evening should not have become this huge production that required so much discussion and build up, but that was the result. All of those meetings with the therapist and that so-called experienced couple had created an awful lot of drama in his mind. Was all of that really necessary?

This really wasn't so hard, he thought. What if she enjoys it, he asked himself. I mean, what if she REALLY enjoys it?

"You, my friend, are a deer in the headlights," Kent had said awhile back.

Kent was a good friend. Yes, a bit silly at times, but he meant well. His friend was wrong. An open marriage can work. If he was the deer, he didn't see the truck approaching.

Gary had wandered his way to a local convenience store and realized that he was sweating and thirsty. The summer nights were both hot and humid, and the walk had taken its toll. He went inside, filled a cup with ice and pop, which he presented to the cashier. An older woman, hunched over somewhat as she fumbled in her purse for change, was in front of him. There were no other employees in sight. Gary patiently awaited his turn.

As Gary set his soda down on the counter, the older woman glanced over at his hand. She looked weakly up at him. A thoughtful look crossed her face, which became sad after several seconds. With effort, she looked up at Gary.

"Was she a...good woman?"

Gary looked down at his hand and consciously rubbed the light colored skin on his ring finger. He had removed the gold wedding band weeks ago when they originally separated. He tried to remember where he put it.

"She and I are still together," Gary mumbled. "At least, I hope so."

"Love is precious," she said firmly as she counted out the change. "Never let go."

Gary recalled his first dates with Samantha. They were much younger then. More energetic. More passionate. Samantha was beautiful to him in a very down-to-earth way - unlike many women who seemed to need expensive dresses and overdone hair to feel good, she was every bit as beautiful in jeans and t-shirts. She had a warmth to her that melted Gary and reminded him to enjoy every moment. She was the first woman who could get him to have fun simply doing nothing. When he was nervous or upset, all he needed was her touch to calm down. At some point in there, he knew that she was the woman he would marry. He knew it as much as he knew anything.

"I won't," Gary said to the old woman. "I promise."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

Two days after her encounter with Crue, Samantha invited Gary back to their house to discuss what had happened. Samantha planned to turn the occasion into a sexy evening between the two of them. She dressed in her husbands favorite lingerie - black thigh-high stockings, black mesh panties and nothing else. Samantha had smooth white skin - her husband was always fascinated by the contrast. He couldn't stop himself from touching her. I still look damn good, she thought.

"It's open," Samantha yelled when the doorbell rang. "Come in!"

Gary creaked the door open slowly, unsure what to expect. A series of arrows made crudely from masking tape lay across the floor and led Gary to the bedroom they shared for many years. He cautiously approached and cracked open the door.

"I've been a bad girl," Samantha uttered playfully. She was sprawled across the bed, legs somewhat apart, arms over her head in a classic submissive posture. She had painted her fingernails red and had done something with her eyes, something with makeup, that made them leap out.

"My God, you're beautiful."

Gary ran his hands over her body, especially over the patches of exposes flesh above her stockings. So smooth and soft. Perfect.

"We had sex."

Gary exhaled loudly and kissed Samantha's thighs. He urgently needed to make love to his wife. Take her back. Prove who her real lover was. He developed a thick, raging erection.

"He fucked me," she said clearly, enjoying his response. She felt so dirty, so decadent, to have two men who hungered for her. She basked in the attention her husband was giving her, which was far more aggressive than anything she could recall from Gary. Maybe her husband would develop into the lover she always imagined.