Exhausted by Hubby Ch. 01

This was one of my early stories. When I wrote it, I was still struggling with the idea of talking about my kinky side, even anonymously. This was the story that brought me "out", with my husband's help.

I wrote the first draft of chapter 1 on the evening of the day it happened. It was after hubby had challenged me in the morning and just before I had to give him my answer in the evening.

Mid-summer... Wednesday morning...

A dilemma.

This morning, I woke up to hubby leaning over me and kissing me as he stood beside the bed. The first impression was of the smell: fresh out of the shower with more than a hint of masculine sweat. I was instantly ready to start my morning touching, but he stopped me.

"No touching today, sweetie." I was about ready to strangle him when he laughed and said, "If you're a good girl today, I'll give you something this evening to write about."

I had mixed feelings. I was frustrated at the thought of not touching all day but I was turned on by the fact that he was being dominant. "Good girl" is so emotionally charged... It's playfully patronizing. It's mild enough that I know he's taking charge without being overbearing or overly harsh. He wants me to be submissive but to have fun with it.

"OK," I said, already thinking ahead to what he might have in mind. Part of me was also reassured that he was comfortable with my writing about our sexual exploits. The icing on the cake was that he was going to "give me something to write about". It meant he was going to make it really good.

"There's just one thing," he continued, "you have to write the whole story, not a sanitized version". That gave my stomach a knot. So far, the incidents I've written about have been pretty tame. While they were embarrassing to share, they didn't include anything that was all that kinky.

I've also been writing summaries and haven't gone into any explicit details about exactly what was said or exactly where our fingers traveled. Many of the details wouldn't make much sense, unless you knew us and knew our history with each other.

So, I wasn't happy about the idea of being more explicit in future stories. I sat up and said, "No, I'm not going to write about which finger I use to stroke exactly which millimeter of my anatomy..."

He cut me off with a reassuring touch of his hand. "I agree. What I'm talking about is the part you left out of your story, at the end of our wakeup session the other day." The knot tightened. There was, in fact, exactly one thing that I left out of that "incident"; one little tidbit that a reader might have wanted to know but that I hadn't wanted to share. When I wrote, "all the while caressing with his hand", that wasn't quite true. At the very end, his hand wasn't "caressing" my bottom; it was doing something else to it.

There was a hint or two but I didn't come out and say it... and I still won't.

Of course, my husband doesn't have to read between any lines. He knows exactly where my buttons are and he knows exactly how to push them. He's given me a dilemma. There are a number of things that we do with each other that would be really difficult to share.

If I agree to write about whatever he does, I'm absolutely sure it will be a night to remember. I'm just as sure it will include something that I truly enjoy but would be horrified to have to write about. It's that tension that's really turning me on right now.

So what do I do?

Well I pondered for a moment while he was still there, leaning over the bed. He made it easier by saying, "You don't have to decide right now. Just tell me what you want to do, when we talk later today. If you decide not to write about it, we'll just go to bed and do our usual." He kissed my forehead and I felt my skin blushing. He had me wrapped around his little finger. He knew it; I knew it... and (God damned fucking bastard) I love him when he does this...

He went downstairs. I lay back down and thought about it. Then, I upped the ante.

I wasn't a good girl.

I haven't told him yet but he knows. Hell, we both knew from the moment he said "good girl... no touching".

As I came, I cried into the pillow. I love this man more than you could possible understand. Now the story will have a different twist -if I agree to write about it. Oh, boy! Was I was a bad girl.

So, here I sit in front of my computer at 8:30 in the evening still having not decided if I'm going to agree to his terms. Of course, we both know what that decision is going to be don't we.

Wish me luck.