Extrospection Ch. 01byBackyardBottomslash©
Thanks to all those who have commented on my previous stories. Further feedback is always greatly appreciated.
And, as always, all characters are over 18 and fictional. If that makes any sense...
Chapter 1 - Contact
It started with the first time she hugged me. I know this sounds lame, but at 18, it was the most intimate I had ever been with a girl. There's no real reason for it, either. At least, no good reason.
At an even 6 foot tall with dark hair and blue eyes, I guess I was attractive in some average sort of way, just not enough to ever be on the receiving end of a date request. And the idea of me asking any girl out seemed ridiculous and alien to me. I knew what my problem was.
It seems strange to attribute such a big part of my personality to something as simple as awkwardness, but it's true. Whenever I would talk to anyone I wasn't very close with, male or female, I would always get caught up in my own head about what they meant when they said certain things, or what they were really thinking. I also worried constantly about being misunderstood, about making sure people knew what I meant. This caused me to rarely speak to anyone outside my immediate social circle. I was just one of those "quiet kids".
Of course, I'd always hoped I'd grow out of it, and was fairly certain I would, eventually. But exactly how much I would grow, and how fast, was definitely unexpected. Beyond expectation. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Begin and the beginning, as they say...
It was such a casual thing, it seemed. I was hanging around at the end of school with some friends.
But Emily was there, which was great. She was great. I didn't know her very well, or talk to her much, as I said, mostly because of complete lack of trying on my part.
But she always seemed so cheery, so bright. She had this cute little way of smiling that made my cock twitch just looking at it.
But anyway, I was being hugged. She had hugged one of her girlfriends about something, I wasn't really listening, just hypnotized by that little smirk, and my friend David joked about feeling lonely, so she gave him one too. I suddenly said that I felt left out, trying to sound light about it, despite how nervous about it I felt. It was one of those moments of rare bravery for me, the kind that usually didn't pay off.
But, luckily for me, before I knew it she was approaching me, smiling widely. My heart started pounding in my chest, and I could literally feel my mouth drying more with every inch closer she moved. I jutted my arms out awkwardly as I prepared for pretty much the best thing to happen to me so far.
But as she slid her arms around my waist, I had a...a feeling. It was something that felt so out of place and somehow uncomfortable that I knew it had to mean something. Something was happening, or something was wrong.
That was the moment my foreseeable future changed. It sounds like I'm being overly dramatic, but trust me. Shit gets weird...
I felt suddenly like I was falling, and jerking, like in that dream where you wake up just before you hit the ground, as cliché as that sounds.
But I wasn't asleep...was I? Even now I'm only fairly, but not completely certain that this is where it all began.
I felt something, some sort of heat inside me. I was becoming encased, surrounded by it. I didn't move or think, I just felt all this...energy around me. I couldn't see, and I couldn't hear. There was just this...feeling, like an intense throbbing all around me, and my body was gone and my mind was just...floating.
Suddenly it was gone, pulling away. The heat of her body was gone, the feeling was gone. My feelings were gone, replaced by the solidarity of my body rushing back to me, hitting me so hard it was as if I had just fallen a great height.
And then there was just nothing, emptiness. I was a blank slate.
Emily was checking the time on her phone. She was late. Her and the other girls hurried away for something, so I guess I just went home. I think I was mocked about staying so silent after being hugged. I don't remember. I didn't even make an excuse, I just started walking.
I couldn't hold my head together. It was like trying to hold fine sand with my fingertips, my every feeling and thought whisked away by even the slightest breeze or turn of my head.
I got home and collapsed around 7pm, I think, falling into bed, and immediately into unconsciousness.
The next morning I awoke with sunlight streaming against my eyes, and that one memory in my head. The falling, the emptiness...and the feeling of intense power, something I don't think I'd recognised at the time. Energy and power.
But that's all it was, a memory. I felt fine. A slight shiver of panic ran through me as I realised I couldn't remember doing any homework before crashing, but then soon remembered it was Saturday, with a small sigh of relief.
I got showered and dressed and made my way downstairs to where my older sister, Jessie, was eating breakfast.
I was deep in thought, so without saying anything I just plunked down at the table opposite her, staring into space.
My sister was 19, a year older than me, with the same hair and eye colour as mine. Hot, I'd been told, but I never really got it...probably because we were related. We were pretty close, and we were always looked out for each other. After our dad died when I was 12, Mom had to work all the time, so it had been just the two of us most nights. She was only a year older than me, like I said, but she really took on a lot of responsibility.
My thoughts drifted from my sister to yesterday. It seemed so strange in hindsight. Not that it hadn't been strange at the time, I mean. What had happened? I'd hugged Emily, I recalled, smiling at the thought,and then...
My whole body jerked up like I'd stopped myself falling asleep. For an instant, I'd felt it again, or maybe my memory of it was just so strong. I didn't know, but my own reaction scared me a little.
"You all right lil' bro?" Jessie asked.
I was dazed slightly, trying to force my brain to function. I'd hugged Emily, and then...the feeling, the falling.
I sighed, shaking my head.
"I don't know, I think I'm coming down with something..." I said as I rubbed my eyes.
She gave me a look of concern as she started clearing the usual little mess she made along with her breakfast.
I felt fine, really, but it felt like I'd come really close to passing out yesterday. Because I hugged a girl? That'd be a great thing to discover, I finally work up the courage to hug a girl and it turns out I'm allergic to it or something. But the more I thought about it, the odder it seemed. I'd been sick enough to pass out before, and it hadn't felt like that.
Suddenly my sister was in front of me, and before I could even react, the feeling was back.
It was the same sensation, but at the same time, so different. This time there was no intense throbbing, no heat, just a fairly quiet buzzing in my own head. Well, I could feel it in my head, but I knew somehow that it was right in front of me, kind of like you can tell where a sound is coming from, even though you hear it in your head.
Just as quickly as it came, it was gone. I jerked my head up, as disoriented as ever, to see my sister pulling her hand back from my head.
"Hmm...you don't have a fever" she said, still looking concerned.
I just looked at her.
"Maybe you should go back to bed?" she suggested.
"No," I said finally, "I think I'll be OK..."
"Well, alright, but let me know if you need anything, 'K?"
"Yeah..." I replied "Hey, actually, could you do me one small favour?" I asked.
"Sure, what do you need?" she smiled, sitting back down.
"Could you, um, hold your hand out for me?"
This thing was touch related, clearly, but what exactly was it?
She gave me a strange look, but she did as I asked. I hesitantly took her hand in mine. As soon as our fingers made contact I could feel it again, the buzzing in my head.
"So...what now?" she asked.
"Nothing, just close your eyes for me." I said.
She gave me a strange look again, but complied. I closed mine too and tried to focus more clearly on the feeling. I seemed to become clearer, sharper somehow, until I could almost see it in my mind's eye. It was like a swirling mass of colours, but without actual colour, if that makes any sense, and it was pulsing slightly. I focused on it more, and I kind of felt myself fall into it. It was like suddenly remembering something you'd been struggling to recall. I immediately felt-
I felt kind of annoyed at being asked to do this. If he was sick, was he just trying to pass it on to me? I mean, not intentionally, but still. He always was pretty weird. No, I thought, that's not really fair on him, I mean, he's never even had a girlfriend. What's with that? I was suddenly filled with a feeling of pity for him. Maybe I could hook him up with someone. One of my friends maybe? No, on second thought, that would be kinda awkward.
Imagine, one of my friends going out with my brother...
My little... brother.
I jerked my hand back from hers and opened my eyes. My head was spinning so fast I felt almost nauseous.
What was that? Was I reading her mind? That's...impossible! And it didn't feel like thoughts, it felt more like...feelings. Feeling her feelings?
How... utterly useless. With the wide array of superpowers ever dreamed up "Extreme Empathy" seemed pretty shitty.
"You OK? What was that about anyway?" asked Jessie.
She looked a little freaked, but then I wasn't exactly calm myself. I mean, it may be shitty, but for Christ's sake it was still a superpower, right?
"Its...nothing...not important. Look I'm going out for a while." I said standing up.
"Are you feeling better already?" she asked, a little surprised.
"Yep, never better, I just...I don't know, got over it."
I heard her sigh as I walked to the hall to get my worn looking green hoody. It was slightly frayed at the sleeves and lettering on the front, but it was my favourite. After zipping it up about half way, I stood there for a few seconds, feeling my heart pound in my chest, just willing myself to be calm. Now wasn't the time to freak out. I wandered back into the kitchen to find my keys. Not car keys, I wish.
"Back so soon?" she asked smiling.
"Oh ha ha, little sis" I said smirking at her. She was about 5'4, so I'd been calling her that since I was like 14. She was always tired this early in the morning though, and let It slide with little more than just an annoyed glare.
"So, you going to David's?" she asked. I usually only went to his place when I went out. We'd been friends for a long time, but apart from the occasional weekend at his place I didn't really get out much...
Yeah, I thought, I should tell him about this. Test it some more maybe...
"Yeah, if I don't call I'm probably just staying over" I answered.
That, or my head's exploded from the weirdness.
"Look, just...be careful! Come home if you feel sick again!" She called as I left.
I was walking the two blocks to the only bus stop in the area that went all the way over to his place. There was a certain chill in the air, which, along with the foreboding grey clouds made me glad I'd worn the extra layer, no matter how thin.
It was a Saturday, so David would still be asleep, which would mean I would have to get the bus all the way across town just to hammer on his door and scream at his window for ten minutes while he woke up. I sighed at the thought. His neighbours weren't most understanding of folks at...I checked my watch. Holy shit, 8:30! I hadn't even realised it was this early. Shit, David wouldn't be up until at least noon.
By the time I realised this I was already at the bus stop. I just stood for a few seconds reviewing my options. I didn't want to go home, I needed to tell someone about this. Maybe there was nothing at all, I had just been imagining it...
As I was thinking this, a bus pulled up. It wasn't the one I wanted, so I didn't pay it any attention. It was quite a surprise when I heard my name being called.
I turned to look. It was Emily! I didn't really describe her before, but I should. She was hot. Really hot. At least I thought so, and I knew a lot of other guys who did too, but she never seemed to get asked out as much as I thought she should have. Not as much as those admittedly hot, yet very bitchy girls from school. The ones who know they look good and exploit it. I think Emily knew she was hot too, but she was very modest with it.
I mean, she had to know she looked good, unless she'd never looked in a mirror before.
She had light blonde, shoulder length hair and bright blue eyes. Her complexion was smooth and she smiled a lot. Like I said, I didn't really know her that well, but even I knew that you never had to wait long for those juicy lips to stretch back, revealing her perfect white teeth. She had a great body too. Quite thin waist with flaring hips, and I don't know if she wore a special bra or something but her C-cup (at my guess) tits were always, like, right in your face. Well, it seemed like it anyway.
"Um...Hey Emily, what's up?" I said nervously.
"Hey! I was just doing some shopping." she waved the plastic bag in her hand slightly, as if I needed proof.
"Kinda early isn't it?" I asked, desperately trying to remember what normal conversation was meant to sound like.
"Well, yeah, but I normally wake up early anyway, and I needed to get some cereal, and I had to go to the store a few blocks away cuz they don't have the brand I like anywhere near here... It's kind of a cheap knock off of fruit loops, but I'm kinda addicted. Um..." she said all this quite quickly. She seemed kind of nervous.
"So, what's up with you?" she asked. This surprised me for some reason, that she'd asked me a question.
"Um...nothing, I was just going over to a friend's house, but I didn't realise how early it was. There's no way he would be up anywhere near now." I said scratching the back of my head nervously.
"Oh..." was all she said. She was nervous too, but I couldn't tell why.
I foresaw a few more minutes of awkward chatting followed by an even more awkward departing. I just decided to go for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? God, I hoped this would work...
"Hey, would you do me a favour?" I asked quite suddenly.
She smiled slightly.
"Um, yeah, I mean... sure...what kind of favour?"
"Just... hold out your hand for me, and close your eyes" I said.
I didn't really expect her to, but she did as I asked. I kind of liked that, that she was willing to do something weird without question. After wiping my hand self-consciously on my jeans I cautiously reached towards hers.
As soon as I touched her, I could feel it again. I was expecting the huge, intense feeling of yesterday, but instead found the same gentle buzzing as with my sister.
It was easier this time to focus on it and bring it closer. This time I held back a little, and didn't fall straight in. I tried to bring it a little closer though, like, so I could hear it. Or...see it maybe. It dawned on me that I was probably using some new sense, beyond the usual 5, and those words were all I had to go on for comparison.
After a while I kind of...connected with it. I didn't really see it last time, but there was like a link suddenly formed, from something in me to the buzzing which I now realised was in her head. Her mind. Without really thinking I felt my body moving to an easier position. I opened my eyes, and slid her tiny, warm hand properly into mine. The buzzing went out of focus, as I was distracted suddenly with sight, but I could still feel it.
Before, we had been facing each other, but now we were side by side. She still had her eyes closed and was leaning in to me slightly. She looked so cute I had trouble remembering what I was doing. I shook my head slightly and made myself focus, pulling her mind towards mine again.
When I studied it more, colour was still the closest thing I could link it to. The closest sense to whatever this was. It seemed to be many colours moving and twisting over a grey background. Or, more like, in a grey sphere. I could feel something in her. The most dominant feeling amidst the buzzing mass. It was like a little happy, contented feeling, while also seeming very... nervous? That felt right...
It was then I had a odd moment of realisation. I was inside this girl's mind. In her MIND! The place meant solely for her and no-one else. No-one but me would ever experience this feeling. I was quite literally and completely uniquely...INSIDE her. It was almost sexual somehow, but then what isn't when you're 18? It just felt so intimate. If I really was somehow in her head, and not just...well, crazy, then I knew her now the way no-one else ever would, or ever had. It made me feel somehow powerful, or special. I found I really quite enjoyed the feeling. A little too much maybe...
Just as I felt my cock twitch at this almost erotic realisation, I felt something else. It was like I could suddenly see my own feelings, or a part of them. See them the way I could see hers. It was like a wave going through me, red, or it felt red anyway. It travelled through me and over whatever link I had with Emily. It flowed over to the calm, slowly shifting waters of the centre of her mind and sank into it. Before, it was like a grey sphere with different colours moving inside it, but when the wave hit it, the whole thing turned this same vibrant red. I opened my eyes to see her staring at me. I let go of her hand and turned to face her.
"Um...do you feel OK?" I asked.
She had a strange look on her face. Her cheeks were a slight pink, and her eyes were wide open. She bit down lightly on her lower lip and let out a small sigh. It was a look I'd seen porn actresses try to imitate a hundred times. Pure lust.
"I...I'm fine...good...um...listen...do you...are you busy? Like, right now...?" she asked. She leaned in close to me and put her hands against my stomach. I felt her mind again, and even without focusing I could see it had changed.
"Cuz we could like, go over to my house, I live close... there's nobody home..." she trailed off, smirking naughtily.
"We could...have breakfast...together..." she said, my brain sticking on that last, almost whispered word.
Yes! She was inviting me back to her place! This was like...mind control or something!
Mind control... I'd sometimes read stories about that kind of thing...
I always felt like it was kind of immoral or something. Like rape drugs, except it was harder to get caught. I didn't want that...
I took her face in my hands. She closed her eyes and moaned softly. I held her mind near, and felt the soft yet overpowering colour of her lust. It was stronger than it had been originally, and it felt like it was growing. I reached out towards it and tried to push it back, to soften it.
Pushing against it or trying to manipulate it did virtually nothing, like punching a big ball of dough, as if my hands were just sinking in uselessly. I tried a different tact, seeing if I could take it away altogether.
It easily pulled away from her mind, like a thin veil. I opened my eyes and slid my hand down her arm to her hand, trying not to break the contact between us. I was trying to keep an eye on her mind, if that even begins to make sense.
She looked confused, dazed a little, but I didn't say anything.
"What was I saying?" she asked, confused.
"Uh..." I started
"Oh yeah! Since you're not busy, you wanna have breakfast with me?" she asked, smiling brightly.