I step into the barn, rubbing my arms. The cold night air is crisp, scented with the dusty threads of the tapestries piled inside. They're piled on every inch of the wooden floor, some rolled up, some laid out to display their beautifully antique designs. I scold myself mentally for wearing just a short dress and cardigan; I'm freezing. There's a stool at the edge of the piles of rugs, and I gingerly sit down.
The situation depresses me; I've come to the party of the man I really like, and I've lost the nerve to tell him how I feel. So he's sitting in his home surrounded by gorgeous girls who are easily open to him, while I'm sitting here in his barn, alone. That's how it seems it will always be.
The barn door creaks and startles me. It's Nate, and I stand up, embarrassed.
"I'm sorry, I should've come in to see you first." My eyes drop to the floor.
Nate studies my face. "It's alright, I'm glad you came. I didn't think I'd find you here."
I look up at him. "I came to tell you why I've been making it so hard for you to talk to me. At least I was going to, but of course I didn't and...now I'm in here. I'm not really sure why I didn't just go home."
Nate steps toward me. "Well," He pulls up another stool and we both sit down. "Instead of running away from the situation," his voice softens. "Tell me now."
I nod, and begin slowly. "So..."
"I've always been someone who prefers to be on my own. My whole life, I've been really independent. But lately, I've just felt alone. And I do it to myself. I'll meet people that I like, and then when I realize we're getting to really know each other, I get scared, and say and do things to push them away. And I'm lonely. That's what I've been doing to you, even though I'm crazy about you..." Tears run down my face.
"Baby." Nate whispers, and pulls me into an embrace.
"And I get so worried" I go on. "That you'll just pick a girl that makes it so easy to be around, as you should, and I will have missed my chance because I was scared."
Nate pulls back and wipes my tears away with his thumb.
"And I see how amazing you are to people, and I've been longing for someone like that for so long."
I look up at Nate through my wet eyelashes, and he says nothing for a while.
Then he touches my face. "I didn't want any of those girls at this party. I just wanted you. I have to admit, you did confuse me with your mixed signals, but I knew that I wanted to stick around to figure you out. Now come here."
He tilts my chin up with his hand, and slides his other arm around my waist. "You're not running away from me anymore." He whispers against my lips, then molds them to his. It's soft and warm, the tip of his tongue just inside my lips. I feel myself melting as he deepens the kiss, and I instinctively press against him, clutching his shirt. Already I feel so safe in his arms, hungry for the affection he's giving me. It's a sensation I've waited years for. He pulls away, and I close my eyes.
"Finally." I whisper, and he chuckles, wrapping both his arms around me. It feels so good being with him. "Can you do something for me? Something that I've needed for such a long time?" He nods. "What's that?" I blush, and look down into my lap. "Will you take my virginity?"
Nate traces a circle on my cheek with his thumb. "Are you sure?" I nod, more sure than anything. He smiles. "Well then I wouldn't love to do anything more."
He kisses me again, then gently moves away to stand up. He walks around the piles of rugs to a cabinet on the wall, that he opens, and pulls out two down blankets. Nate walks back over to me and takes my hand in his free one. "Come with me," he says gently.
We make our way to the back of the barn, which is way farther than I thought. This barn looks much smaller on the outside. Amidst the piles of tapestries, there is a lower pile, with rugs coming up around it on all four sides. Stepping into this soft little space, we are completely concealed from anyone who comes in the door.
I watch as he lays one blanket down onto the rugs. "What if people start to notice you're gone?" He smoothes out the blanket and straightens up. "When I saw you walking into the barn from my bedroom window, I told people I was going to drive for an hour to pick up my brother and then come back to the party. So we have a good two hours."
I nod, feeling nerves. He puts his hands on my arms. "Are you still sure you want to do this?" I put my arms around his neck. "I've been ready for you to love me since I met you." He leans in and kisses my cheek. "And boy, have I fallen in love with you." he says. "You have to tell me if you want to stop." I smile. "I will." He watches me. "Are you nervous?" I take a deep breath. "It's a good kind of nervous." Nate presses his face into my neck. "I'll be gentle." I close me eyes and smile. "I know."
Nate pulls me into a soft kiss, and we slowly sit down on the blanket, cushioned by four or five laid out rugs. It feels cozy down here, with the tapestry walls protecting us in our own little world. I unbutton my cardigan and pull it off as Nate pulls off his own shirt. I press my collarbone against his bare skin; the skin-to-skin contact feels amazing. "Lets take this slow." Nate murmurs, and slowly slides down the straps of my dress with his finger.
I help him pull it down my body and off, and he traces the path my dress had just made with his palm on my skin. "You're beautiful." He says, and leans down to caress my tongue with his. "So are you." I say when we finish the kiss. "Alright, baby." Nate reaches into his backpack that he dropped on the floor and I blush as he pulls out a bottle of lubricant and a condom. He sees my face and smiles. "You're adorably shy. Baby, I'm going to make you feel ready for when I take your virginity. I'm going to give you an orgasm. There's no need to be embarrassed or self-conscious."
I nod, and he leans in and kisses me again. "Ready? Just take a deep breath. Relax."
I do, and I feel his hands softly traveling up my thighs to stop in between my legs. I close my eyes and focus on him touching me, how good it feels to have him touching me. His hand settles on my underwear, and his thumb gently begins to circle my clitoris. It's a slow movement, but it's enough to send little tingles throughout my body. Nate crawls up so we're face to face, and kisses me, still rubbing me with just the right amount of pressure; firm but extremely gentle. I give a little sigh as he sits up and pulls me onto his lap, his finger getting a little faster in between my legs. I envelope his mouth in mine, eager to taste him.
We sit like that for a while, moving into each other, and then Nate lays me back down, both of his hands traveling to the elastic of my underwear. He watches my face as he slowly tugs them off, and I shift so he can pull them down my legs. I squeeze my eyes shut and blush furiously as Nate gently parts my legs and exposes all of me. "Hey, there's no need to be embarrassed, remember? Your body is amazing." One of Nate's hands come up to lock his fingers with mine.
I hear the cap on the bottle of lube open, and Nate squeezes some out onto his finger. He then traces that finger around my soft opening. The cooling liquid soothes my warming flesh, and I shiver. Very slowly, Nate inserts one of his fingers into me, and I gasp. "Stay relaxed. Focus on the sensations I'm giving you."
His voice whispers, and I arch my back a little. Softly, Nate slides his finger in and out, side to side, loosening me up. Then he bends his finger and strokes my upper wall, and I let out a little sound, the pleasure of his touch washing over me. Nate smiles. "That's it baby."
Very gently, he slides a second finger in next to his first. He moves them a little faster, and I start to feel a tingling building up in my pelvis. I let out a quiet moan, and my back arches some more by itself, and I realize my legs are bent out to the side. Nate speeds up again, and I feel his lips on my clitoris. My breathing is becoming more rapid, and I start to feel the release making its way to the surface. "Nate..."
He speeds up, and murmurs, "Let yourself go, my love. Let it happen." A few more of his strokes and I'm there. My body jerks, and my head tips back, my eyes closed. I groan, jolting softly to the rhythm he's created. When my body slows and I open my eyes, his face is above mine to kiss me. I raise my lips to his, my entire body relaxing. We kiss for a long time, and I'm eager for what's next. Nate chuckles. "Nervous anymore?"
I grin. "Not at all. Please continue." He nods, and reaches for the condom laying on the blanket. "Come here. Let me show you. " He pulls me up and I sit on my knees and wait as he unzips his jeans and pulls down his boxers, showing me all of him. I wonder how much it will hurt, because he is a fairly big size. Nate pulls out the condom, and gives it to me. He takes my hand under his, and places it on his erection, holding it up. Gently, I roll the condom on, and he guides me with his fingertips. I feel slightly shy holding him, but as I notice his breathing change when I touch him, it excites me.
"Now." Nate puts his hands on my waist, stroking me. "You should sit on me, so if anything hurts, you can control the movement." I nod, and he leans in and sucks on my bottom lip. I'm no longer nervous, and I'm filled with desire to be this close to Nate.
I pull myself onto him, straddling his hips, and his lips brush my ear. "Go slow, baby." He holds himself, and I reach down to part myself, and lower my hips onto his as he eases into me. I gasp, as there is pain. I wrap my arms around Nate's neck and press myself to him, trying to relax my body as things painfully stretch in between my legs. As I slide down the last couple inches, I squeeze my eyes shut.
Nate can feel my stiffness, and reaches around to take my hands that are digging into his back. I sit, my face in Nate's shoulder, as I breathe and wait for the pain to ease. After a minute or so, my muscles relax and numb a little, and I can feel things start to expand to perfectly fit Nate. I lean back to look at him, and he touches my face, and pulls one of my hands up to kiss it. "How are you feeling?" I breathe out, and shift on him, relaxing my hips a little. I think Nate gives a little gasp.
"It hurt a lot at first, but now it's very bearable. Why don't you lie over me. I think you're free to move now." We shift, and Nate supports himself on his elbows over me. "Here." Nate gently reaches over and grabs a pillow sitting on one of the rugs. "Arch your back, baby. It will make things feel a little better."
I arch my back, and wince as the act of lifting my hips pushes him in a little more. Nate slides the pillow underneath my lower back, and we shift, adjusting our position. "Am I hurting you?" He pressed his face into my hair and I clutch his shoulders. "Mm Mm. You're so gentle. It eases the pain." He lifts his head and looks into my face and very gently slides out about an inch. Then, slower than the first movement, presses back in. My mouth opens, but no sound comes out, as I feel a different sensation than the pain start to surface. Nate stops, unsure of my expression.
"Was that uncomfortable?" I smile, and shake my head. "The very opposite. Please do it again." Nate does the same, and repeats, each stroke getting a little longer than the one before. Almost all the pain is gone now, and I slide my hands down to rest on his buttocks. We start to go faster, and I let out an accidental moan. I cover my mouth with my hand, embarrassed, but Nate moves my hand and goes in for a deep kiss. I realize that Nate is still being careful with his movements, so I wrap my legs around him. "Faster please." It's just what he needs to hear, and pretty soon our bodies are moving together in a heavenly rhythm.
I look up into Nate's face, and watch as his breathing becomes faster, and mine begins to follow. "Oh god, you feel so good." He breathes, and those six words send goosebumps over my body. I start to lift my hips against his, and the buildup of pleasure begins again. Nate suddenly moves faster, and I can tell the blissful end is close for him too. Our hips collide one more time, and it sends me over the edge. I groan, and Nate puts his mouth on mine, muffling my cries of pleasure.
I feel his hips clench, and he reaches under my hips and holds them to his, grunting, as I feel his warmth fill my body. He's still, while I continue to move underneath him, waves of pleasure getting smaller, but still sending a jolt through my body.
We lay there, tangled in each other, panting. As our breathing slows, I close my eyes and whisper, "I love you Nate." Nate kisses my damp skin, and murmurs. "I love you." He slowly slides out of me, and I wince one last time, as my inner walls are returned to their normal size. Nate pulls the second blanket over, and lays it over us. I shiver, realizing again how chilly the night air is on my heated skin, and Nate wraps his arms around me. We still have an hour before anyone realizes Nate should be getting back, so we lay there, cherishing the feel of each other's bare skin.
I close my eyes and rest my cheek on Nate's chest, content. I am no longer lonely, and it feels amazing to belong to someone.