tagHumor & SatireFun in a Box

Fun in a Box


I, being observant, noticed two things immediately when I woke up. Number one, I did not fall asleep with a woman, and there was a decidedly feminine arm draped across my chest, and I knew it wasn't mine. If you recall I am observant. Number two is, this is not where I fell asleep. I fell asleep in my small studio apartment bachelor pad and, as best I could tell, I was in a box. No light, no windows, no way out, but plus a strange woman if you remember. So I sat there waiting for inspiration, maybe I should say hello, maybe I should try to remember her name and hope and pray she wasn't a vampire, or I should just crap my pants and start crying. Oh and the third thing I noticed, I was stark freaking naked. All in all, a bummer way to start a day.


Oh shit, was all I could think.

"Are you awake? Where are we?"

Don't be a vampire, don't be a vampire, don't be a vampire. Ok so I wasn't all together.

"Wake up" she said and started shaking me.

Ok, time to play smooth. "ugh, huh, who, where...what's happening?" Not nearly as smooth as I hoped.

"Me and you are in a box."

Thanks a ton dame. "Alright...lets back up. My name is Joe. What is your name?"

"My name? My name is Rachel."

I guess that's a start, she sounds hot at least. A true male thinking about boffing her brains out, and we are in an f'ing box. "OK good. What is the last thing you remember?"

"Um, I guess falling asleep. But can you really remember that?"

Not the brightest crayon in the box, but when has that mattered. "No, but you can remember going to bed."

"Ok then, I guess I remember going to bed."

"Good. Do you have any idea why us two would be in this box?"

"You think we are in a box?"

Ok, she is dumb as a stack of bricks. "I think so."

"Oh no. Why are we in a box?"

"I got an idea why don't we ask. Oh hello there Mr. Box, why oh why are we in here, tell us pretty please." Who expected that to actually work?

But sure enough that box talked back. "You are to reproduce."

"Well I'll be."

"What do you think it wants." Always Ms. Nail on the head.

"Well I think we are supposed to fuck like bunnies." I figure symbolic speech might not work.

"Oh, Ok do you want to?"

You wouldn't think this would be an especially hard decision, but I figured I should think it over. "I don't know, it is kind of hard to aim without lights."

And wouldn't you know, the damn box turned on its own lights. And then it became not much of a decision at all. She was in a word, Beautiful. She was one of those blonde women that always reinforced the 'blondes always have more fun' mentality. She had long, 'bout mid-back, slightly curly blonde hair, ocean blue eyes you could just stare at and never get bored. And she looked to be wearing the luckiest blanket in the world covering perky C-ish breasts, and a body that was for lack of a better sentence, perfect. Her and her full pout-y lips, and that ready to go body, had me quickly at full mast, and ready to sail.

"I guess if the box says we should. It might be the only way out of here." I said amazingly without swallowing my tongue.

"Ok. Do you want me to be on top? I don't have too much experience, but I lap dance some."

That really didn't help the situation under the sheets. "yeah you be on top."


And that was how hard it was. This hot girl slid up on top of me. This was the hottest girl I had ever done, and all it took was "if the box says so." Why couldn't it be this easy with the rest of them, I do not know.

And what followed was the best sex of my life, Period.

She mounted, as the blanket fell away. I got a view of those C-ish breasts with nice and pert pink nipples, the ones you know want to be sucked, right above a flat stomach. She grabbed my dick like a pro and glided it right in. She was more moist than I expected and we began to go at it right from the start. She was tight, but with just enough breathing room to take your breath away. There wasn't much room for maneuvering, so she stayed on top, and the only sound was the soft whir of the A/C, and her soft moans and the slap of our bodies. Oh it was fun, Mucho fun. We went on like that for maybe 10 minutes tops. Hey you try banging a super hot broad after not getting any for longer than you would like, and being the fucking Michelin man, I don't think you would go 10,000 miles. She got her rocks off too, and like any under-achiever I think that is what really matters.

And that was pretty much it.

She slid down besides me, and shot me the best Scarlet O'Hara smiles ever. And we fell asleep right next to each other. Still sweaty and entangled.

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