Gerri's Domestic Disciplinebymjar65©
This is for Gerri and some special memories. Hope you enjoy it.
This is my story of how I was introduced to domestic discipline, how it made me a better woman, how it changed my life and how I came to enjoy it. I had a strong urge to share my experiences with someone and I chose you, dear readers.
I am 34 years old and until about a year ago I really was not enjoying my life. I hated my job and it surrounded me with lots of horrid people. It felt like a dead-end and I was feeling desperate about getting out and trying something new.
I'd never had a really enjoyable relationship with a man as the few I had been with were all total pricks. I wondered sometimes if that was to be my fate. The sex never made up for it either. I was not very sexually experienced but I was sure that the sex I was having was not as good as it should be. The men in my life were all dud lovers, the kind who climb on and climb off once they're done.
At the time I was seeing a guy, someone who'd previously been my senior at work. He seemed hardly to care about me at all. The sex was terrible and he was emotionally abusing me into the bargain.
One day I finally plucked up the courage to start looking for people on-line. I knew it was a common thing nowadays and also that the internet was where people went for new or kinky things. That was what I wanted. My sex life totally sucked and I just thought that if I could try something a little more adventurous then I'd at least find some pleasure and satisfaction in my sex life.
In fact it was more than that. I felt like my life was a disaster. I just couldn't see how I was going to make it any better. I had started to wonder whether I needed someone to take control of my life, to take control of me. I had started thinking about submission, although truly I had no idea what it was all about.
So I found Doug on the internet and sent him an email asking if he would teach me about submission. Pretty dumb, I know. But Doug eventually replied and asked me a few questions. So we emailed some more and he asked me even more questions. By then I was starting to feel a little foolish because I was certain Doug could see I had no idea what submission was all about.
Soon, though, Doug suggested we meet. He also set a little test for me -- I was to meet him out on the street and walk to a restaurant with him but I was to do all this without wearing a bra!
I suppose I should tell you I have large breasts, 34DD. I am slender though so they really are obvious. I am taller than average. I also have a very flat tummy (don't ask me why, it just is that way). I wish my bottom could be a better shape. I should add I have light brown hair that I like to wear shoulder length. But I often look at my breasts and think they are too big and saggy. So going in public without a bra was a really difficult thing for me to do. But Doug seemed nice and by this stage I was ready to take a risk. What harm could it do?
I turned up feeling so incredibly nervous and exposed. The thing was that Doug turned out to be really nice in person too, very pleasant and refreshing for someone like me. He is a little older than me which gave him a nice calm confidence. He wasn't overbearing and he struck me as a kind man who seemed genuinely interested in me. I did notice him stealing admiring looks at my breasts but I supposed that was only to be expected. We talked about a lot of things, especially submission and different ideas about BDSM. Then we agreed to meet up the next week for another dinner date.
You'll note that at this point I was still seeing this other man, my former work colleague. Doug knew about him and didn't seem bothered at all. I didn't tell the other guy, I hardly felt like I was cheating on him since he was such a shit. After all, I had no idea that the thing with Doug was going to go anywhere.
So, to cut to the chase, on our second date I was very pleased when Doug invited me back to his place. I felt really relaxed with him and he didn't make me feel inferior or small in any way. Plus he was a hunk and that definitely helped!
We had wonderful sex that night and it was obvious he was totally hot for my body. I'd never really experienced anything like that before. From there we quickly began to see each other once or twice each week, each time to have sex for long hours into the night.
After those early 'dates' we started to experiment with submission and with BDSM. You'll remember it was me who had asked Doug to introduce me to these new things. I was really excited and very nervous. I was also pleased because I knew Doug was very keen to start teaching me.
In the end, however, for some reason the BDSM play didn't really click. I know my ideas were all wrong and my expectations were quite foolish. I enjoyed him spanking me when I was across his lap. That was mainly because I knew that it excited Doug. I also enjoyed the warm tingling in my bottom as we had sex later on. But I think we both knew that some spark wasn't quite there -- not yet anyway.
Personally I did not mind too much about that. You see, the sex with Doug was FANTASTIC! He was amazing in bed and soon brought out a side of me I'd never known existed. I had never imagined sex could be as thrilling as that. He got me wetter than I had ever been in my life. In fact, the first few times I thought something was wrong as my vagina was just creating so much wetness!
Doug made me feel warm and safe and protected and was not judgemental about me in any way. I was more than happy to let him do anything he wanted with me. He made me feel so FABULOUS I wanted to do anything he suggested. I was actually secretly pleased when he gently tried to introduce some more kinky things into our sex play. I wanted all those things too -- and more! That made me so incredibly wet as well and I started to get used to having my vagina gushing with my sex juices.
I tried new positions and toys and 69s and was excited when Doug introduced me to face-fucking. When he asked me about anal play I was able to confess that I'd secretly considered trying it out. So Doug bought me a collection of sex toys, including some with odd shapes that he loves to insert in my bottom. He made me orgasm in so many new and wonderful ways and I quickly discovered I enjoyed the new and strange sensations of climaxing when he was invading my bum hole.
All this teaching and guiding me pleased Doug and got him really turned-on each time we were together. Soon enough he had me doing all kinds of new and exciting things outside the bedroom as well. We had sex in some new places, including outdoors. Then he would 'order' me to go on errands without underwear or with those lovely ben-wah balls inside my vagina. Several times he sent me to work with a sex toy in my handbag and during lunch I would have to close my door and squat down, with Doug listening on the phone, while I pushed the toys into my vagina or my backside.
All this time I suppose 'officially' I was still seeing that other guy. For some reason I just didn't think about the fact I supposedly had two lovers. The other man was too interested in his career to really care about me. It had been weeks since he'd wanted to spend time with me and I knew when he did it would only be for his own sexual pleasure.
Doug seemed to worship my body. He didn't see any of the flaws I saw. One day I confessed to Doug that I thought my breasts were too big and saggy. I suggested one day I would have them reduced to make them all firm and high and perky once again. Doug just gave me a stern comment about my tits being amazing and perfect and just the way they should be. He also told me I was being silly to contemplate having anything done to them. A little while later I asked him again and Doug gave me the same response in the same stern tone of voice.
There were other new things to experience. Doug introduced me to watching porn and I found out that I love it. I guess I was excited to watch other people and to see them having pleasure (even faked) that I'd been denied for so long. I started masturbating for Doug when I was at home and then writing reports for him to read. I also knew that we were getting closer to really having anal sex. I was a little scared at the idea of his big, hard penis in my bottom but I wanted it all the same and knew the day was fast approaching.
Then came the night that changed everything. Not straight away, but it did change my life. I mentioned to Doug once again that I didn't like my big droopy breasts. I was still feeling self-conscious and inadequate and although I had told Doug about it before I was still concerned. 34DD seemed too big and I was wondering about having my boobs reduced in size and lifted.
Suddenly a change seemed to come over Doug. He took me to his bedroom and told me to take off my skirt and panties. The whole time he looked at me in a way I'd not seen before. Then he ordered me to lie across his lap again. I knew what was coming, or thought I did. We'd played with spanking and at first I decided he wanted to have another try. It seemed like harmless fun. I was more than happy to oblige.
Then Doug spanked me. It was hard, very hard. It hurt. But I didn't make a sound or move an inch because I trusted Doug so much by then.
He kept on spanking me. One after another. I was shocked. He was hitting me again and again with the palm of his big strong hand. The sound was terrible and the pain in my bottom was worse. Part of my brain told me that this was abuse, physical abuse and I couldn't believe I was getting this from Doug, my kind and wonderful man. I'd never been spanked like that in my life so this was a real shock.
But I stayed there over Doug's lap all the same. I didn't dare move because I was a little afraid by then. I didn't want to move because something inside me felt good about being punished. It really didn't feel like abuse and, strangely, I wanted more. The pain in my bottom was strong but I somehow sensed that Doug wasn't in a frenzy. In fact, he seemed very controlled and deliberate.
And in between some of the smacks he was talking to me, still with that stern tone of voice. It was hard to hear what he said over the loud sounds of the spanking on my bare bum but he spoke slowly and deliberately.
'...time to stop being weak... stop judging yourself... want to see more pride in yourself...'
The spanking seemed to go on and on. I had no idea if it was long one or not because I had never been spanked at all. My bottom was terribly sore and my flesh was burning from Doug's constant smacking. I was ashamed and embarrassed in a way I had never felt. And the whole time he was still being very deliberate and talking sternly to me.
'...listen to what I say... respect my opinions... start respecting me.'
I think he must have given me forty or fifty smacks. I was about to give up and cry out for mercy. It was almost more than I could bear. I was still in shock that Doug had hit me at all but the incredible pain in my backside was about to overwhelm me.
Finally he did stop and I lay there for a long time, limp across Doug's lap while he softly rubbed by bottom, my very sore bottom, and my back. I was still completely at a loss to understand what had just happened. Surely it was domestic violence? But why would Doug do that to me? And why did it somehow feel like it was not abuse?
Soon after that we were having sex and I quickly tried to forget that horrible experience. The sex was as good as ever and Doug even seemed more turned on. To be truthful I think the sex was maybe a little better on account of the tingling heat I could still feel from my battered backside.
It was two more days before Doug and I spoke about that night and what he had done to me. Doug asked me again about submission and why I had wanted him to teach me about it. The he said he realised that it wasn't exactly what I needed. Perhaps I didn't really understand myself. I told him I was sure that was true.
Doug told me that he had come across some reading about domestic discipline. He guessed that when I had spoken about submission that I was mostly interested in having someone who could take charge 'when required'.
Domestic discipline, he said, wasn't really about submission in the way we had first experimented. Domestic discipline, said Doug, was more about one person establishing certain demands or expectations for the other person. It would mean me being required to live up to certain demands or expectations from another. That night, when I was worrying aloud about my body, Doug had decided that was the time to introduce me to domestic discipline.
Doug and I talked a long time that night. He told me, again, that I have a fabulous body and he wanted me to realise that it was true. He was pissed off (in his words) that I kept taking on board what I imagined where the negative comments from other people.
I was quick to admit that Doug's insight seemed right to me. I hadn't understood it myself but somehow I knew he had discovered the key. I did want to be a better person and but I knew I often lacked he courage to do it by myself. Having someone believe in me and push me to improve seemed perfect for me. The idea of living up to Doug's expectations was exciting. Here was someone who instead of putting me down would demand that I improve and become stronger and more capable.
That long talk had an effect on me. It was only weak at first. Still, I suddenly found the courage to get rid of that other guy, my former work boss. I called him that weekend and told him I wanted the whole thing to end. I felt good and strong and brave for the first time in a long time. He, of course, was still a prick and tried to tell me that he wasn't at all bothered.
Then I had a fresh idea. Doug loves my body. This might sound foolish but secretly, I've always liked some of my bits and had this wish that I could have the kind of body that men want in their magazines. It was always a fantasy thing, wishing for something that could never come true.
So I asked Doug if he would do a nude phot shoot of me. He agreed instantly and a few nights later we did the whole thing at his place. I felt so wonderful and free and liberated and, most of all, sexy. I brought along a whole lot of outfits and Doug shot hundreds of pictures of me in different states of undress or totally nude)\. I was in all different kinds of poses and some were tasteful and some were very lewd. I posed in my business attire with my boobs hanging out and my legs spread to show my vagina. I posed in the shortest shorts, so short that when I opened my legs my vagina lips were exposed. Doug even got a little arty and took some lovely shots of me standing like a statue with a sheet draped around me.
I loved it all and my vagina was wet for most of the time. That was good because Doug made me finish with some pornographic shots with me placing some of my toys into my vagina. That was the first time I had ever really seen what my vagina looked like and I have to say that I was fascinated.
I thoroughly enjoyed that night and getting to show off my body, despite still thinking of its many imperfections. It was a night that got me into trouble with Doug later though. Of course we ended up having great sex that night. As were relaxing afterwards Doug asked me again about my pubes. He loved my waxed vagina but was curious about how I looked with all my hair. I have to say I hate my pubes and as soon as I could I started shaving and then getting them waxed. I grow a very think, dense bush of long, light brown hair. The pubes even grow on my inner thighs. I have always thought it gross and completely unattractive.
Doug was insistent that I stop waxing until I grew a full set of my own pubes. He tried to assure me he would be so turned on to see a forest between my thighs. So, nervously, I agreed and skipped the next wax I was due a few weeks after that.
I lost my anal virginity about a week later! I was still scared but I was so ready for it. Doug was making me feel so sexy and much braver. He was very gentle and careful and slow. He got me all warmed up with some nice licking and fingering of my vagina and then my bum hole. We had some really good fucking as well before Doug started to eat me out. I was in the middle of another orgasm when Doug moved up into position and announced that the time had come!
As always, he coached me in just what to do. It wasn't hard at all to get his penis into my bottom. At first it felt uncomfortable but soon I was feeling really turned on to be so stretched out. I also, of course, loved the idea I was finally doing something so kinky and taboo.
Doug instructed me when to start rubbing my clit. He slowly moved in and out of my bottom and the pressure and the heat were wonderful. I came so hard that night and I am certain that the orgasm really felt different because of Doug's penis deep inside my bottom. Soon Doug came as well, putting his semen inside my backside. I was very excited by that because I had given him so much pleasure and because it made me feel like a filthy slut!
But a couple of weeks later I kind of 'forgot' about my promise to Doug. I noticed the hair on my vagina one morning and decided Doug wouldn't really want to see my thick bush. So I shaved and expected he would say nothing more. A big mistake!
That very night I was stripping off in front of Doug at his place and almost immediately he stopped and felt my vagina lips. Then he questioned me about what I had done and what had happened to my promise. I tried to explain it all away. Doug just gave me that look again.
In seconds I was over his lap again and he was spanking me. Of course he took his time and spaced out the smacks. I was relieved it wasn't as hard as my first spanking. But I was starting to realise that this was a punishment and that Doug had been very serious about wanting me to meet his expectations. In fact, all during the spanking, he told me so.
'...trust is about promises ...you're better than that ...not let me down again.'
It was another long spanking, maybe thirty or more smacks of his big, hard hand. But I stayed still and accepted them all. I listened carefully to everything Doug had to say as well. I was relieved he didn't go as hard as the first time but I knew deep down that I had disappointed him and was actually glad he was punishing me.
Afterwards we talked a lot. I realised that when Doug wanted me to undergo domestic discipline that it was exactly what I needed and had been looking for. He was determined that I should become the best person I could be. No-one had ever suggested such a thing to me. For too long I had accepted second or third best in my life. I had reached the stage where I accepted third best of myself.
That night I agreed that Doug should continue trying to build me up and guide me to being a better, stronger person. He made me say the words and I told him that I wanted him to keep helping me and that I wanted him to discipline me and punish me whenever I fell short. I actually asked Doug that night to spank me whenever he felt I needed it to remind me to always try harder.
It felt weird to say those things to Doug, to anyone. It was scary, too, because I didn't really know what I was getting myself into. But it was like a promise between the two of us. It was also a challenge to myself. The whole thing made me feel strong and liberated. I knew Doug cared about me and I wanted to have all the things he was offering me. So we agreed to include domestic discipline as a regular part of our relationship
I had anal again that night. Only this time Doug pushed a small vibrator into my vagina while he was inside my bottom. The extra sensation was so different and I came so very hard. I almost saw stars that night. Afterwards Doug announced that he was going to buy me a me collection of anal toys. I was quite pleased to hear that because I had discovered I loved having things inside my bottom. Then Doug licked and sucked on my boobs for ages and ages before he ate out my vagina and made me orgasm over and over until I couldn't take any more.