tagHumor & SatireGet Into My Shorts Pt. 02

Get Into My Shorts Pt. 02


Need an injection of culture in your life to compliment your hasty orgasm? These ultra-short erotic tales should do the trick.

Note: Any resemblance between these short 'haiku inspired' tales and real poetry is purely coincidental, not to mention highly unlikely.



dildo thrusts
into sub boyfriend's
puckered hole


'again, please', she said
shut up, bitch


'Love your work'
said while descending
onto famous cock


cunt licked
eagerly by tongue
while in background...

...dick sucked
dry of hot seed
before sliding in...

...to willing
tight, greasy fuckhole
of other person...

...who had just
entered the room-
to be continued


gentle caress
kissing of necks
hot cum on tits


oh my god
don't look back
oh, shit, she did anyway


good binoculars
are very handy
in said category


no matter what
leather masks will never
look less ridiculous


first sharp pain
always followed by
intense girl pleasure.


two erections
two too loose holes
in toilet cubicle


cocks and cunts
cum and willing juices
everywhere you look


mum is gone
to sale at WalMart
so suck cock, says dad


ooh, so big,
too big, she says
knowing it is not


vibrator buzzing
to sound of groans
of crew-cut girls


Dear Bob,
this must surely be
least read category


for you, my love
I copulate happily
with rugby team


with viagara pill
old man cums hard
in young vagina


hordes of girls
arrive trancelike and nude
at nerdy guy's door


'Nein', she screams
'Quoi?', his foreign reply
then shrug, he cums


so, did you
happen to see the game
last weekend?


her negative reply
infuriates him madly
so he ignores it


through seven chapters
characters develop
without much sex


waterfall flows
onto virgin's breast
kissed by handsome man


her willing hole
penetrated roughly
by green, radioactive tentacle


she likes so much
the hundreds of hard
bits of corn on cob


'bend over', says he
'no, you bend over'
says deep-voiced girl


so much blood
shit, dismembered limbs
pain in ass to clean up


Note: I can see the feedback already... from people in desperate need of a hobby... "Hey, dickhead! Those aren't really haikus! Blahblahblah"

No. They're not. They are humourous. There are no 'kigos', or seasonal references. No, many of the haikus are not 17 syllables or in 5-7-5 form. Actually, those rules only apply to Japanese grammar. In English, 12 syllables and 3-4-3 is the proper form. And no, the above haikus don't follow that either. So there. Hah.

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