Gift of SubmissionbyCherryCummins©
Read that carefully. Gift. The heart and soul of the submissive nature is to give, to offer all they are, the very best of effort and love, to please others. To bring joy, to serve with passion, to give. Submission to another is the greatest form of surrender, of giving. The submissive literally makes of themselves a gift.
As I am newly a devoted supplicant to He who speaks for my life, I have been doing a good deal of reading. I wish to expand my knowledge of this lifestyle to better please Him. And a lot of what I find is repetitive, unimaginative, clearly ripped off drivel.
Again, read carefully. Gift. Not something taken. Not something forced. Not something coerced.
The submissive is collared by his or her heart, the nature that drives them. Anyone naming themselves a Dominant will understand this, and seek to cultivate the love and natural compulsion that makes a true submissive. Those clueless morons out there, sadists or misguided subs themselves, seek to take that trust and beauty and hammer it until it suits them. I believe this is more than just wrong, it is a damaging cruelty.
I have spent a portion of this day reading lists of rules for slaves. I have read different musings from different masters and with one striking difference, a Master like in spirit and wisdom to my own, I find them sadistic idiots completely out of touch with their servants and entirely at the mercy of their sexist egos. I pity any sub that falls afoul of any of them or their ilk.
While I grant any Master the right to direct a new servant, sub, or slave as best pleases them, and certainly as is best for those that place themselves in their care, I do have a problem with the whole idea of breaking that submissive.
Understand, I am on no soapbox, and I have wandered across some very good and quite informative sites and essays. I find that most of what I have read falls into three categories, those I can identify with, those that are interesting but just not for me, and those that are absolutely horrifying. I cannot imagine anyone really wanting to be a part of some of what I have read, though I know that some do follow such an extreme life, and can be quite happy with it. But I must wonder, how many find themselves there simply as victims who either know no better, or think they deserve no better?
After trawling one particularly horrid list of rules, finding much that I simply could not stomach, I mentioned some bits of it to Him and He told me that such garbage was not what he wanted me learning from. The relationship with my Dominant is a growing one, as I am new to the awareness that I am a submissive, and now His loving slave.
I had some trouble with this word at first, and looked for ways around it while still pledging myself only to Him. He was insistent that I come to terms with this word, and how He meant it. I sought to fight this for a time, falling on misconceptions of weakness and the prejudices or our less than accepting society. After some judicious reading and His loving assurances, I have seen the word slave, and indeed submissive, in a very new light.
To give is never weak. And I have given my whole life. I have also been taken, so I know of what I speak. I spent several years seeking to fill the need inside, to be kept, to be treasured, to be motivated, loved, and protected. I found men I thought were strong, but met only with abuse, neglect, and impassive discontent. All I gave was not good enough. All I changed to suit them was not good enough. They bled me near to death, taking all and leaving an empty shell at rock bottom.
I survived. That is a trait we strongest share, to survive anything that comes our way. There are those who sense it and want to break us, to prove to themselves and their ego that they are stronger, better. I find that they are the weak ones. If you have to break anything to control it, then you have lost. The natural glorious state of that thing was stronger, and it was only by bringing it down to your level that you found some measure of mastery. To be a king of garbage may mean a title and crown, but look at what you rule. Look at the extent of misery that you survey.
I am not a jeweler, but I imagine the artist does not beat the gem with a hammer, shatter everything he touches, and pick through the rubble for something fine. I see a craftsman examine his finds with care, looking into the raw stone for the qualities some loving direction will best enhance. Some well considering chipping, shaping, and a loving polish will make a sparkling treasure to be proud to own and display. This is the view I find in my Master, and hope to see in others equally wise.
A slave is property, by their own consent. A servant is there to please and be of best use to the one they grant service to. A submissive does desire to surrender and be dominated, shown strength and the will of another. This does not mean crushed. This does not mean taken advantage of. This does not mean destroyed.
Now some of us are of a rather extreme bent, I know this well, and have a small masochistic streak myself. Some of what I and my Master have discussed would likely give my mother a coronary, or send polite society to calling me a deviant and sick person. And some of what I have read would have me questioning the sanity or self esteem of those who participate. I really am not one to throw stones, but my problem is this. I am new to the life, and if not for His love and guidance, I would be running screaming just from a few sites I have been to, from a few articles that paint a slave's life as one of subjugation and abuse they just have to accept.
The rules for the slave. Training for good submissives. Lists and groups of cans and cannots and expectations. Not bad in and of themselves, but with few exceptions I find a frightful trend. Exploitation. The sole serving of the dom at the sub's expense. What of the dominant's responsibility to the submissive? Not just to whip them to a lather, order them about, or grind them under a boot. What of the emotional needs, the care and guidance, the safety to grow and expand their experiences to be better people, as well as better possessions. I think some doms get so caught in the kick and kink aspects, that they forget exactly what it is that should be making them the top in the relationship.
Unless you are in it just for the sex, then wake up folks, it's not just all about sex. Sure there are some of us kittens that just want to be trussed and put to good use, or get lathered by being made to abase ourselves at every opportunity, or cannot get it on without a little colorful bruising and exquisite pain. But there are just as many that find less demanding ways to serve and be pleasing. To each their own, but have some consideration. I have yet to see someone really label their list, Rules for the Truly Subjugated Slave, or Guidelines for the Hard-core Masochist.
Not even a nice disclaimer on several of these works, that these are the styles and opinions of certain doms living particular ways and seeking certain types of slave. The better sites and essays are more user friendly, and share without cramming their notions down the throats of the unwary. And the worst? I shudder to think of that being the first view the uninitiated has into a new life. Horrors.
I myself have been doing some reading, some thinking, and discussion with Him, leaning on His years as a lifestyle Dominant. And still, I was horrified by some reading I did today that disturbed me enough to want a shower just from the reading. I was sick to think that someone really lived that way, and thought themselves strong for their harsh and uncaring view.
My Dom believed the author to really be a sub writing it just for his own sexual gratification, rather than any intent to help ease a newbie into the life. Still, whatever the man's reasons, it's out there for all to see, and some poor confused soul may happen upon it and run. Or worse, consign themselves to expecting no better.
The nature of the submissive is to give. My desire is to please, to serve, to accept. My hope is to be accepted. My gift should be respected and cherished as the prize I intend it, not to be taken, stripped away, or smashed into something unrecognizable. Otherwise, it stops having meaning for me, and is lessened in beauty and importance.
Anyone can serve in fear, can buckle under a superior force, and be bested or outright beaten. What does that say for the conqueror? What quality of spoils is left if everything has been obliterated?
Hit someone often enough and they will be cowed. Hit someone constantly and they cease doing anything, knowing that nothing they do will gain them any other result. Fine for some I guess, though I don't understand it. And a crime if anyone in that situation doesn't really want it.
I have said to my Master, in all seriousness, "Break me." I trust Him implicitly, and know, really know, that He will do no such thing. His sight and compassion mark Him something a bit rare, one who wants for His slave, not for Himself. As I am pleased to please Him, He seeks the best from me, that I be all I can, and so enhance all I have to give. And giving is my joy, has been for nearly all of my life.
He is one sure of His own strengths, that it is my gift He seeks, my willing obedience, my love that places me under His hand. He need not take, though that be the right I have given Him. My path of discovery has not been rammed home, but gently guided, and so much more fruitful for that I discover myself what I have always been, yet did not know.
I have danced my whole life to the tunes and needs of others, seeking to fill the emptiness inside, to find my shelter with another. I have always been left wanting, until now. He knows me. He names me. And I am found.
As I have been so lucky, to be chosen by such a one, I wish only the best for others. And I know that there is much out there that is far from that, self-serving fools on both sides of the line. Self-styled masters and mistresses just out to take for themselves, so-called subs just wanting to serve their own little fetishes with no consideration for anything else. As I said, I've not much room to throw stones, but we all know that a few bad apples ruin it for the rest of us. Egomaniacs like a few I found today, are most of why the word slave had put a bad taste in my mouth. And how many others? How many indeed.
My goal with this is not really to put anyone down, though I have done so and will do again, as warranted. I want to share a few insights into this life that is still so new, and gleaming with possibilities, and maybe help future newbies that started out as I have, without a clue. I felt rather combative earlier, after wading though so many similar lists for slaves, and thought that something had to be done, if only in my own small way, to offset what I and my Master thought was a rather unsettling and demeaning 'manual'.
Variety is indeed the spice of life, but in this day and Internet age especially, one should have all the options available, to make the best fitting and well informed opinion one can. So take heed, you newcomers, and do your research less you fall prey to lurking sharks. And all of you that cannot see past your own egos, try and remember, there is another person involved. They may be collared, bound, gagged, and awaiting your whip with quivering pleasure, but never forget the gift they give, and your responsibility to honor that treasure. And, more to the point, to give your own best in return.