tagHumor & SatireGosh! Ch. 03

Gosh! Ch. 03


From the Author: Please note this is a stand-alone story.

"Cindy, you could've just asked me. I know about cars, you know. Here, let me talk to him..." Jake said, chuckling.

They met when Jake had wandered into Mike's Daytona Auto Shop almost two years ago, looking for a quote. Instantly they recognised kindred souls. Fellow football players, it wasn't long before Jake and Mike were drinking buddies, watching sport together, and playing poker on Thursday nights at Mike's place down by the beach. With a similar sense of humour, the two men regularly played practical jokes on one another, all in good fun, and their friendship went from there. When Jake told Mike about his girlfriend's naivety, Mike shook his head doubtfully. From what Jake said, Cindy was both model material, and a bit of an airhead. When it was finally planned that they would meet, Mike promised to go easy on her. As it was, most of his jokes went clean over her head, providing Mike and Jake with lots of laughs.

"Nooo," she whined, "I can do it. Besides, Mike was already on the phone." Jake cocked an eyebrow and chuckled again. He never could argue with Cindy's nutty logic. Stuff it, he thought, at least I can get to the pub on time. There was a pool competition on that night, and he thought he had a shot. And anyway, he'd see Mike there shortly.

Jake had not discouraged his buddy when Mike first started teasing Cindy. If he was honest with himself, Jake would admit he enjoyed it too. Whenever Mike came over for a beer, the two of them would find so many reasons to laugh at poor Cindy. Being as clueless as she was, she simply loved the attention. So much so that now and again she would play up the bimbo side of herself, just to keep the two men laughing. As long as she was the center of their attention, she didn't mind at all. In fact, she secretly got wet when laughed at, but she felt ashamed and confused by the phenomenon, and couldn't admit it to anyone, let alone spell 'phenomenon'.

Cars fascinated Cindy. From the first time someone had explained to her what 'phallic symbol' meant, she had loved their hard bodies, and thumping dongs, or donks or whatever the big fat engines were called. With his thorough knowledge, Mike had kept Cindy rapt with his tales of speedway driving and some of the cars on which he'd worked. He'd forewarned Jake that he'd put something unusual on each invoice so he could have some fun with Cindy when she rang about it. Some of the laughs they'd had about a 'full piston throttling' or 'double valve re-boring' had reduced them to tears.

Jake smiled as he watched Cindy on the phone, twirling a few strands of curly blonde hair around a finger and swinging her five-inch white stiletto on the big toe of her dainty left foot. God she's fucking gorgeous, he thought. From her leather stiletto, Jake's eyes trailed up her tanned curvy calf, past her sculpted knee, and up to the hem of her pressed white linen miniskirt. He admired the flawless copper skin of her lithe thigh and swallowed. Even though she was a complete bubblehead, he loved her madly and was glad he was finally going to marry her. She was just too good to let go, even if she did occasionally stray - not intentionally, of course. He knew Cindy always wanted to be a good girl.

"Baby, I'm going up to the pub for a few hours. Remember?"

"There's just something on this invoice I want to straighten out," Cindy muttered, waving the paper in the air. She wasn't listening. She was on hold and entranced by a tune playing in the receiver. She was also admiring the new nails she'd acquired from the beauty salon that afternoon.

Jake chuckled. He knew Cindy couldn't concentrate on more than two things at once, let alone three or four. He stepped up to her and slid his index finger under her chin, gaining her attention. "Baby? I'll see you later, okay?"

"Okay," she said, her big pale blue eyes blinking vacantly up at him.

"You remember I'm going to the pub, don't you?" Jake asked.

He watched as in slow motion she parted her rich red lips, perfectly white teeth gleaming, tongue licking her lips, preparing to speak. "Oh, yeah. That's right, Monday night is that swimming competition. Strange having a pool at the pub... I'll have to remember my bikini next time I go... Have you got a towel, baby? Oh and don't drink too much. I don't want you turning into an alchemist, or something."

Jake just smiled. He was used to Cindy's inane ramblings. "You mean an alcoholic?"

"Um, yeah. You know, a bottom."

"I think you mean a 'bum'..."


"Never mind."

"What? What's wrong with my bum?" Cindy dropped the phone in horror and stood up, twisting her body to look down at her ass over her shoulder. Jake swallowed and felt himself harden. Cindy's skirt was tucked into the back of her thong, showing everything. "Oh, oops. Hee hee! I wonder how long it's been like that!" she giggled, blushing at her silliness.

"Oh, relax. You have a yummy bum," said Jake, smiling at the sight of her trying to wiggle her miniskirt back over her hips.

"You're so sweet, Jake."

At that inopportune moment, Mike started talking on the phone. Cindy heard it and sat back down, giving up trying to fix her tight skirt. She picked up the phone while Jake organised himself to leave. Cindy thought Mike Solano was a hunk, and she loved how he teased her, even though she could hardly keep up with him. She bit her lip and wondered if he had a big cock. It was naughty to think about things like that.

"Are you there?" Mike asked in a gruff voice.

"Y... Yes. Hello Mi-"

"Are you alone?"

"Um, I just wanted to-"

"Tell me when Jake's left for the pub," he said curtly. Mike really enjoyed playing with Cindy, particularly when Jake wasn't around. He knew he could get away with so much more, and was always pushing to see how far he could go with her. After the one time Cindy had come to the shop to pick up her car, all the guys had fallen in lust with her, and Mike had boasted about how he could manipulate the naïve girl and have a lot of fun with her. So now all the mechanics in Mike's Daytona Auto Shop looked forward to Cindy's calls, as Mike would put her on speakerphone and demonstrate her silliness to all his employees. That part Jake didn't know, but Mike wasn't too mean. He did have a soft spot for young Cindy, and it was getting harder by the second!

The fact that Cindy was on the phone went around the shop like wildfire. The mechanics piled into Mike's office and shushed and elbowed each other as they tried to get the best spots. Cindy had no idea that Mike had seven other guys with him, all licking their lips and adjusting their cocks while listening to the baby-voiced stunner.

"I... I think he's leaving in a m... minute." Cindy said quietly, blushing harder at his tone and wondering if Mike knew what she was ringing about. Goose bumps broke out on her upper arms, and her nipples began to swell. She didn't really mind because she was at home and not out in public where she would blush and look down and try to stop thinking about cocks... or sex... or um... hot messy cum... At home she didn't mind how her nipples pushed out the tight t-shirt, stretched as it was over her gravity-defying tits and tied in a knot below her ribs. At home it was okay and safe and Jake loved playing with her nipples and seeing how big and hard they could get. Also, at home she could go braless, and let her big tits jiggle which made her nipples hard anyway. Jake had warned her that she should never go braless in public, because she'd cause too many car accidents. She tried to explain that her tits didn't get in the way when she was driving, but Jake has insisted and she had gone along with him.

Jake was now ready to leave and she looked up at him, cradling the receiver loosely on her shoulder as he bent to kiss her cheek. "You won't be too late, will you, Jake?" she asked.

Jake gave her a hug, trapping the phone by her ear and speaking right into it, thinking he'd tease his buddy a bit. "I won't be too late, baby, I promise. Besides, I doubt I'll be able to concentrate with these beauties to come home to," he said, sliding a big hand over her left breast, trapping her thickening nipple between finger and thumb. Then he whispered, loudly and clearly enough for the mechanics to hear. "I could see how hard your nipples were getting, baby. Were you thinking about my big hard cock again?"

"Oh, Jake. You know how hard they get when I think about cocks... er, your cock..."

Jake chuckled at her mistake. That'll get Mike going, he thought with a grin.

"Can I have the key to the toy box?" Cindy asked, whispering conspiratorially, "I'm so fucking horny." Jake had to keep the toys he'd bought Cindy under lock and key. At first he bought them to help control Cindy's sex drive, but when she was unable to come to the phone for the three days after he'd bought them, he decided on a lockable toy box to rein in her rampant impulses.

"You can wait, dirty girl," Jake said, pinching Cindy's nipple harder, causing it to balloon to full hardness.

"Ohhhhh...." she moaned, closing her eyes for a moment as his pinching eased. "I... I'll try..." she breathed hotly, trying not to think about fucking her fingers hard as soon as he'd closed the front door behind him.

"Good girl. I'll be back later."

Cindy was sitting on a stool by the kitchen bench, still holding the cordless receiver on her shoulder as she absentmindedly drew her nails over her tingling nipple and stared into space. She didn't even hear Jake's car driving off.

Cindy had been lucky to find Jake. He wasn't exactly the ideal man, but she didn't really have a choice. She knew she had to get away from her stepfather, and everyone at school, and... well... everything! Anyway, to Cindy, it seemed like a good idea at the time, and he did have a nice big cock.

Jake had helped her escape to the sunny skies of Florida, and for that she would always be grapefruit. She wondered for a moment why grapefruit was so thankful, but instead she tossed her hair and didn't worry about it.

The only real disappointment was that Jake's nice big cock always used to cum so fast. Jake told her he was sick of apologising about it. He said if it wasn't for her being such a succulent piece of ass, he might be able to last at least a minute longer. She wondered what that would be like. "Maybe I'll get it in the ass tonight," she said aloud, then suddenly remembered the phone on her shoulder!

"Oh, gosh! Um, sorry! I stubbed my toe!" gasped Cindy, blushing crimson. She looked down and noticed her puffy rock-hard nipple was squashed flat between her manicured finger and thumb. What was I just thinking about? she wondered, releasing her nipple and gasping again. Cindy felt her tummy flutter and resolved to masturbate as soon as she'd finished talking with the mechanic. She sighed. Why does my cunt always have something extra wrong with it? I mean, my CAR! GOD!

"Are you okay? You sound... breathless," Mike finally said.

"No, just a bit... um, distracted," she said, letting Mike's sexy voice wrap around her as she slipped her fingers between her legs to find her pulsing clitty.

"Was there something on your mind, Cindy?"

"Um, yeah, this last invoice thingy? I was wondering about something on it...."

"Really?" Mike asked, choking back a laugh and urging the guys listening to be quiet.

"Yeah I was just kind of wondering what a 'tail pipe lube and alignment' was. I haven't heard of that before."

Mike covered the speakerphone with his hand as guffaws broke out around him. "Come on you guys, I haven't even started," he whispered to the boys. They settled down and Mike removed his hand.

"Well, little lady, it's a new thing, and very important. You should always make sure your tailpipe is in good working order." Mike covered the speakerphone again until the raucous laughter settled down. They almost missed Cindy's comment.

"Really, I never knew that. Is there anything I can do? Like, can I lubricate it and align it myself?"

"Well, you can, but I'm not sure if you have the right tool for it. Do you have any really big tools?" Mike asked, almost losing it himself then. He had to rearrange his cock in his overalls as well as keep himself from laughing. He noticed a few of the other guys doing the same.

"I think Jake has a big tool, but I'm not sure. I haven't seen that many others to compare," she mused. Cindy suddenly realised it sounded like they were talking about cocks. Her nipples throbbed hard and she bit her lip. The long nail on her index finger touched her clit through her pink thong and she uncrossed her legs, opening them slowly and breathing out at the sensation of cool air caressing her shapely tanned inner thighs.

"Oh come on, I'm sure you've seen lots of other tools, a curious girl like you..." Mike said, going red from trying not to laugh. Cindy stroked her clit with her nail, closing her eyes and imagining Mike was talking about cocks.

"Well, I suppose I've seen a few in my time, but never a whole shop full of them. I've never been inside a mechanic's shop. I bet you guys have lots of big tools there." Cindy smiled, enjoying the little joke she was having, until her nail started stroking the length of her clit and she almost forgot where she was.

"Well, Cindy, places like this have tools of all different shapes and sizes," said Mike, noticing Ishmael. "And colours," he added, without thinking.

"Gosh. You even have different colours?" Cindy asked, dragging her nail across the head of her clit, thinking about big black cocks.

"Yep, and a few whoppers!" Mike winked at Cody and shook his head at 'Bull'. "A couple of the tools here you would have to see to believe!" exclaimed Mike, immediately covering the phone, knowing the effect his comment would have on his employees.

Cindy swallowed as she held the phone to her ear with her shoulder, a skill she'd learned just last week. And boy was she glad. This way, she could talk and pull her thong aside and hold it, while she started working a few fingers up her cunt. Her eyes rolled back in her head as the word 'cunt' ricocheted around her heated mind. She hooked her heels in the cross struts of the stool, tilted up her pelvis, and started pushing three fingers in and out of herself. For a moment she thought she heard laughter and her nipples throbbed obscenely.

Gosh, I'm such a stereotypically stupid slut who gets turned on when I'm embarrassed or humiliated or ashamed... in an erotic story... she thought strangely. "A... Are you l... laughing at m... me?"

"Now Cindy, you know the last thing I'd do is laugh at you." Mike thought it probably would be, right after he'd cum all over her face. "You should come down here and take a look at some of these big tools, Cindy," Mike said, trying not to laugh down the phone line. "I'm sure we could find something that fits your tail pipe perfectly!"

Cindy pulled her sopping fingers from her squelchy cunt and thrust two of them up her ass, immediately pumping them full length in and out. "R... really, Mike? I th... thought you'd al... already done that j... job," gasped Cindy, losing her mind.

"It's a forward invoice, Cindy. You'll have to bring it in tonight if you want to get the dick-count."

"D... Dick-count? Don't you mean d... dis-count?"

There was silence on the phone for a moment while the guys cracked up, and Cindy wondered if she'd been cut off. "Mmmmm... Mmmmmm..." she moaned softly, using her thong to stimulate her clit while she fingered her ass. "Oh, fuckkkk..." She realised if she kept going she was going to cum. Suddenly Mike was there.


"Huh? Huh? What?" asked Cindy, almost delirious, her fingers jammed up her ass.

"It's no good coming down now. We're out of lube. You'll have to put up with a tail pipe that needs work."

"What kind of l... lube do you n... need?" Cindy asked, feeling her asshole pulse around her fingers.

"Number 5298 multi-grade high lux, total tailpipe lubricant," Mike lied, "but ah, if you have any baby oil or cold cream, that would do fine."

"So, if I bring some cold cream, or some baby oil, down to the shop now, you can show me those big tools and lube my tail pipe?" Cindy asked, gritting her teeth and pushing in a third finger, pumping her ass harder and faster.

"I'll even throw in the alignment for free, little lady."

"Oh Mike," said Cindy, on the verge of orgasm once more. "A... And this service i... is already on this invoice?" she squeaked, gasping.

"Wait a minute..." said Mike. Cindy froze again, mid-thrust.

"What? What is it?" she gasped.

"I've been teasing you."

Cindy gulped, wetting the inside of her mouth with her nimble pink tongue. "You have?"

"Yeah, I've been having you on."

"Oh, Mike, you are so mean," Cindy said, breathlessly sliding her fingers out of her ass and pulling her thong back into place. I can't wait, to mas-tur-bate, Cindy thought, reminding herself of her cheerleading days. Just then, there was a knock at the door. "Oh, um, Mike?"


"There's someone at the door."

"Really? You better answer it then."

"Oh... yeah." Cindy put down the phone and looked around for something to wipe her fingers on. She couldn't find anything, and shoved them quickly into her pussy before sliding them into her mouth. Nasty, she managed to think as she sucked them clean. She'd didn't notice her skirt was still tucked into her thong at the back. She popped her fingers from her mouth and wiped them on her bare thigh before pulling open the front door.

"Miriam! I wasn't expecting you until next week!" she said, blushing and hoping her carpet wasn't dirty.

Miriam Delaney lived next door. She was a good-looking woman of about thirty-five. She was slim and dark haired and always well dressed in a headmistress kind of way. They met over the side fence soon after Cindy and Jake had moved in. That particular day, Cindy had been sunbathing in a very skimpy bikini that Jake had bought her. Miriam called to her, and Cindy bounced over to the fence, trying not to show how embarrassed she was about the tooth floss bikini. Miriam introduced herself and Cindy did likewise, explaining how they'd moved out from California.

They chatted for a while until Miriam asked if she 'trimmed her hedge herself or if she preferred a Brazilian'. Cindy told Miriam she didn't know any Brazilians. Miriam promised to introduce her to a Brazilian next time Cindy needed help with her hedge. Cindy thought Miriam was very kind and helpful even though she wondered why she winked so much. Maybe she had ticks or something. Apparently Miriam was a cyclist, because she asked if Cindy was 'bike curious' or something and asked if she had ever had her carpet cleaned. "Would you like to have your picture taken by a dyke?" asked Miriam, pushing her luck with the obviously clueless young woman.

"I thought they only had those in Holland," replied Cindy, feeling her nipples harden in her teeny weeny bikini. She definitely didn't want to do any modeling outside. Cameras made her feel all hot and bothered at the best of times, and she had already done enough public displays of her gorgeous body to last a lifetime. Cindy was getting very confused by all the questions but she did think Jake might like some pictures of her on a bike. She also thought it would be better to take the pictures at Miriam's place, since she hadn't had her carpet cleaned since moving to Florida, even though they were in pretty good condition.

Cindy definitely didn't miss all the cameras in California. She noticed the occasional one trained on her in Florida, but Jake said that was normal for a pretty girl. She shuddered a little at that, because it was the same thing her stepfather used to tell her. She didn't really miss her Stepfather. He always said she was 'built for pleasure'. Whatever that meant. All she knew was she was flesh and blood, and hadn't been built by anybody. She sure showed him.

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bySir_Nathan© 7 comments/ 40966 views/ 8 favorites

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