My mom is so mean. I'm 20, but she still bosses me around and treats me like a little girl. She wouldn't let me get a job and then wouldn't let me go off to college when all my friends did.
To top it all off, for the last few years she made me go over my uncle's apartment to clean it for him. He's a typical guy, so his place really needs cleaning. I go over every day, too, and cook him dinner and leave it in his oven for him for when he gets home. She's worried about what he eats, worries that he'll die of a heart attack or something from only eating pizza and burgers.
She drops me off and sometimes doesn't pick me up for a long time.
Of course I don't have a car, and she won't even teach me to drive.
She wants to keep me a little baby.
But one time, I was at his apartment, and everything was clean, but she didn't pick me up, for like the hundredth time, for about 3 extra hours. I was so bored.
I didn't think that he even had a TV at first, but then I noticed that in his bedroom he had one of those old fashioned entertainment cabinets with the doors that close over the TV. It was like the funniest thing. His TV was locked up. The whole thing was locked up and only had one keyhole.
I took a paper clip and bent it and picked the lock in no time like I'd somebody do in a movie or on TV show. I'm very good with my hands since mom makes me sew and do needle point all the time. That one keyhole unlocked the whole thing, all the drawers as well as the TV.
You wouldn't believe it, but in the entertainment center there were all these XXX movies with girls masturbating, girls tied up or handcuffed, white girls getting sex from black guys --- GROSS! --- or girls kissing and licking each other --- INCREDIBLY GROSS! ---- and even girls being kidnapped and raped.
I'd watch his dirty movies and masturbate. I swear, I never did it before I saw any of his movies. But once I'd watched one of them, I just couldn't stop, either watching them or masturbating. I'd start a DVD and lie on his bed and pull my skirt up and my panties down and finger myself. He had these sex toys too, and I'd use them, except I never put one into my vagina since I wanted to stay a virgin. But I did use this long one that was only as wide around as my thumb in my butt.
There was this one DVD that I watched again and again, most times I'd be over his place after I did my cleaning. A big bear of an older guy like my uncle's age has this sketchy-looking van. He has different magnetic strips that he can change whenever he wants that say that it's a plumber's van or electrician's van or even a policemen's van. It's got no windows in the back and a sheet metal wall right behind the driver's seat and a dirty, nasty old mattress in the back. The guy kidnaps this cute girl right off the street as she's going to Catholic school and he pulls her into the van and handcuffs her wrists and ties her legs to these hooks that he has in the corners of the van and takes off someplace where there's no one to hear her screams. The girl tries to fight him off, but he's way too strong. He cuts her Catholic school uniform off her with a big scary knife and does it to her in the butt for a real long time. At first she hates it but then she loves it and begs him not to stop. She never even sees his face because he wears a mask until he blindfolds her when she's naked and all tied up and helpless. He pushes her face down on that dirty mattress with her skinny butt sticking up because he jammed a dirty pillow under her hips. Afterward, when he's done with her and she's bleeding from her butthole, he dumps her in the woods, all naked and bruised and crying, throwing her Catholic school uniform on top of her. She puts her tattered uniform back on as best she could and goes home to her empty house. She takes a shower and puts on another one of her uniforms and hides the torn one under her mattress and then goes downstairs and pretends that nothing happened. Her mom comes home and the two of them cook the family supper. And then we see her father, as he gets home. It's the guy who kidnapped her! She got raped by her own father! She goes and sits on his lap and puts her arms around him and kisses his cheek and they say how much they love each other. And then that night, she takes out her torn uniform from under her bed, puts it on, and masturbates in her bed while wearing it. It was so sick and twisted!
The only part that I didn't like was that the girl looked about 25 years old, way too old to be going to Catholic school. I went to Catholic school and graduated only a couple years ago, so I know.
Well, for like a year I watched that DVD almost every day and masturbated while I watched it. I'd watch the others too, but it was by far my favorite. I just loved it. And I'd imagine that I was the girl, of course, but that it was my uncle who kidnapped me and did it to me in the butt.
My uncle had handcuffs and even bigger handcuffs that I saw in one of his DVD's that are for chaining a girl's legs by the ankles. And he had all those weird rubbery sex toys. I know about sex toys because Jenny Adams brought two into school and showed some of us, joking that she'd show everyone, even Sister Luke, at show and tell, even though we didn't actually have show and tell.
Of course, I was always very careful to put everything back exactly like I found it. But it's not like my uncle had it all organized or whatever so that he'd notice if something was out of place.
Once a week, always on a Friday, he'd take me out to a nice restaurant to thank me, since my mom forbade me to take any money from him for the work I did for him. So that one day would be the day that my mom wouldn't pick me up. After the restaurant he'd drop me off at home.
I got this idea and I started to fantasize about it all the time when I was home in my own bed, masturbating.
I fantasized about chaining myself to his bed, naked, with that nasty DVD in the player, and pretending that I'd dropped the key so that I couldn't reach it, I'd wait, chained naked to his bed, until he got home. I even started shaving all the hair off between my legs like some of the girls on his DVD's.
He's this big hairy guy, sort of like the guy in my favorite DVD. He usually smells kind of sweaty when he gets home too, since he likes to walk to work, and I kind of love that smell.
My own dad always smells like Irish Spring soap and my mom's Herbal Essence shampoo, and he showers and shaves twice a day. My dad's not tall and he's kind of skinny too and my mom always bosses him around.
But my uncle, oh boy. He's a big tall guy, a real bear and all hairy and bearded, like the evil guy with the nasty van who kidnaps his own daughter. I bet he could grab me and do whatever he wanted to me however much I fought back. One time my mom was nagging my uncle about what he eats and he just said, "Shut the f*** up," only of course he didn't just say "F." My mom actually laughed, not able to help herself, and then she only asked him not to talk like that in front of me. If my dad ever said that my mom's head would explode, I bet, but with my uncle saying it she just laughed, something she hardly ever does, and it was a real laugh too, not like her usual fake laugh when she talks to people.
My mom told me one time that my uncle got in a fight in a bar and got stabbed with a car antenna in one of his eyes so that his eye was hanging out until the doctor at the emergency room popped it back in. The iris in that eye is always big and black too. My mom said that my uncle hit the other guy with a bottle that broke and cut the guy's neck so that the other guy died even though he had his own eye hanging out. The police never charged him, either, because they decided that my uncle had been defending himself, even though both of them had been drunk. All the other guys I know, especially from church, are real choir boys, but my uncle's like this really scary guy, and that really excited me.
So one time, a Friday, I was at my uncle's, watching that nasty movie where the father kidnaps his own Catholic school daughter and fantasizing about chaining myself to the bed while I masturbated, imagining my uncle coming home and finding me all naked and chained to his bed.
I was like so wet. I went and got the handcuffs too and handcuffed my legs to his bed's foot-boards and one of my wrists to the headboards so that I was face down on his bed. I had stripped the bed bare too, so that it would be like the dirty bare mattress in my favorite DVD, and I had a pillow under my hips too, just like in the DVD. I could reach right down between my own legs to rub myself all I wanted.
His bed is like really old and has big posts that go up almost as tall as I am. I was watching the DVD with my head turned back, pretending that I was looking at my uncle while he raped me in my butt. I even had this black rubber toy in my butt while I rubbed myself between my legs. I came and came and it was great.
It was Friday, the day when he took me out instead of my mom picking me up. I'd been playing this game with the toys and the handcuffs every Friday, but I knew that I had plenty of time. He called whenever he came home early too, teasing me that he wanted to warn me if I had a boy over the house. I always said that I'd never do that, but then one time he teased me, saying that he didn't want to come home and interrupt if I was with a girl either! I was like speechless I was so shocked. That's just totally disgusting.
After I came like six times, I was lying there, still with both my ankles and one wrist chained to the bed, playing with the key. It's a little key. It's more like a tube than a key too. Sometime I had dropped the key on the floor on purpose, to scare myself, but always close enough so that I could reach it.
Well, I'd forgotten that I brought my own cat for company, since I get lonely at his apartment with no one else there with me. My cat jumped on the bed and startled me, and I dropped the key and it really did roll or bounce or whatever where I really truly couldn't reach it, not even close. And his bed is very heavy, even if I could somehow have gotten my legs down to push the bed or whatever, but they were chained to the other end of the bed, of course, and that same key worked on both sets of handcuffs, even the ones for the leg cuffs.
Only now I was really scared. That nasty movie was in the DVD player, and of course I was chained, naked, to my uncle's bed. I pulled the nasty rubber sex toy out of my butt, since I had one hand free, and tried to throw it up and over and behind the entertainment center, to hide it, but it only hit the wall and bunched onto the floor, right out in the open and not even close to where I could reach. I had used some of my uncle's olive oil on it, too, and that was open and in a big bottle right there on his night table.
It was so stupid that I laughed and then giggled and then cried. I was so scared. I couldn't even call someone, one of my friends from school or church, to come rescue me because he had no phone next to his bed.
Well, you guessed it, there I was when he got home and came looking for me or maybe assumed that I wasn't there. I was so embarrassed that I didn't make a sound until he came in his room and found me there.
I'd taken his pillow from under my hips and tried to cover myself with it.
He just stood there, looking at me, silent for a moment. I started to cry again and then he just laughed. He has this big booming laugh.
When he'd stopped laughing, he said, "What the f***, Elizabeth?"
Everyone calls me "Beth," even my mother. I don't think I'd ever heard him call me "Elizabeth" before, unless it was when I was little.
He got the sheet from next to his bed, another thing that I couldn't reach, of course, and covered me over.
When I had been lying there, I had actually masturbated again, thinking, fantasizing that maybe he'd come home and just get so excited that he'd rape me in my butt. Maybe I'd have to beg him to do that to me instead of taking my virginity, that if he was going to do it to me to do it in my butt instead of in my vagina.
When I was covered, I told him where the handcuff key was and he got it and uncuffed me, first my wrist and then my ankles. I think I did it too tight too, because my left foot had fallen asleep and was numb after my lying there like that for two hours. But then when the blood was flowing back into it I got wicked pins and needles and I had to rub it.
He took my foot in his big hands and rubbed it too.
I go to confession once a month. My mom does too. Even my dad goes too. Not my uncle, however. But of course I'd never told my priest what I did, how I masturbated or how I watched filthy movies at my uncle's and fantasized about him raping me or something.
But I confessed almost everything to my uncle, confessed it without him asking what had happened, other than his "What the f***?" question when he came into his own room and laughed his booming laugh and then asked it.
The only thing that I didn't tell him was that I fantasized about him raping me. And I didn't say that the father kidnapping and raping his own daughter in that nasty van was my favorite DVD.
I even told him that I'd been doing it for a whole year.
As I was telling him, as I gave him my confession, I couldn't help but notice that my uncle got a woodie. I know about that from girls from my school. Some of the naughty, nasty, slutty girls talk about that all the time, about how some boy "sprung wood" or whatever.
He picked up the remote on the DVD player and turned it on. I felt so embarrassed, so ashamed, that it just sprung out of my mouth, I said to him, started to beg him, "Please, don't tell mom, please, I'll do anything, you can punish me anyway you want, punish me as much as you want, just, please, please, don't tell anyone . . ."
I was blushing red, I'm sure. I just wanted to distract him from that nasty DVD with the guy raping his own daughter. I didn't really think that my uncle would tell my mom, but I just wanted to distract him from the nasty movie, I think, so that he wouldn't think that I loved that one the best.
However, I had fantasized about telling him just that ever since I'd started handcuffing myself to his bed, begging him that I'd do anything if he wouldn't tell my parents.
But it didn't work, didn't distract him from that DVD. He asked, "How many times have you watched this one?"
I said, "Only this one time, I swear, you have so many of them . . ."
But I knew that he could tell that I was lying. Besides, there I had been when he came home, practically spread eagle like the girl in the back of her father's van.
He said, "I do think that you deserve to be punished." He had this nasty, gleeful grin, like he was enjoying himself.
Meekly, I said, "Okay, but you do it, not mom or my dad, please. I'll do whatever you say, I promise, just don't tell." I had started to cry. I really was scared that he'd tell them, I guess, even though in my heart of hearts I knew that he wouldn't because then he'd have to fess up about having that nasty porn collection.
He started to unbuckle his belt. My father used to spank my brothers that way, with his belt on their bare butts.
But I knew my uncle pretty well. He wasn't angry like my mom would be. I could tell that he was amused and maybe aroused by catching me. He didn't even seem bothered by me messing with his stuff.
I think he just liked having an excuse to spank me, and I guess that if he was going to spank me, he wanted to do it right, with his big thick black leather belt.
I started to cry even more. My dad had never spanked me and neither had my mom. I had always tried to be prefect. Sister Thomas Aquinas and Sister Sebastian had both said that my handwriting and grammar were "perfect," and that had made me so happy. Any test where I could memorize things before hand I always got a hundred on too: historic dates, spelling, word definitions, state capitols, parts of the frog's anatomy. I just had this strong craving to be perfect or at least to have people think that I was.
My uncle wrapped his big strong callused hand around my wrist and pulled me up. I was careful to keep covered with the sheet. He sat on the edge of his bed and before he bent me over his lap he pulled the sheet away from me and tossed it on the bed so that I was stark naked.
I couldn't help it, I had to tell him about shaving myself too, since now he could see that. He was looking too, right at that place between my legs that didn't have any hair to cover it.
Then he did pull me over his lap.
I said, "Please, not with the belt, it will leave marks and mom will notice." I was lying since I was so scared of all that pain that I knew that the belt would cause. My mother never saw my bare butt.
He laughed slapped my butt hard with his bare hand and then with the belt even harder.
It hurt so much that I screamed. He lashed me again, even harder, and I screamed again.
Then I sobbed, "Please, stop, I'll let you do anything, anything at all. I'll let you rape me even and never tell, never ever tell, if you'll just stop that and never tell my parents."
He laughed and pulled me up by wrist. I only weigh 95 pounds and he's a big and tall guy who is really strong. He shoved me on the bed face down on his bed.
I was sobbing in relief and fear. He was really going to do it, really going to rape me, just like I had fantasized so often about. My heart was beating a million beats a minute.
He started to undress, and I hid my face in the crook of my arm.
He laughed and asked if I wanted to be handcuffed, but I didn't answer. He cuffed my ankles like he had found me, looping the chain through the foot-board.
He gave me one of his pillows. I don't know if it was the same one that I'd used to cover myself and that I'd had under my own hips earlier.
"Put it under your hips."
I lifted up and did what he said.
"Are you going to rape me in the butt?"
"Yes. Isn't it what you want?"
"I don't want to, I really don't want to, it was just a sick fantasy. I never really wanted to do it, especially not with you, my own uncle. I would've never thought of it were not for your nasty movies." I meant what I was saying. I really didn't want him to do it. Well, I guess if it was going to be anyone, maybe I would've chosen him, but of course he was my uncle and that is so sick and disgusting, even if I'd fantasized about it a dozen or more times a day everyday for a whole year or more.
I had hidden my face again. He must have taken the belt again. It lashed and cut into the backs of both my thighs and I screamed again.
I just lay there, sobbing. I felt him climb onto the bed and felt something, his finger, I think, go up my butt. I could tell that it was wet with oil. Then he jammed two fingers into me back there and it hurt, but no where near as much as when he had lashed me with his belt.
Then one of his fingers was in my vagina.
"You're sopping wet, slut."
He unhooked my right wrist and hooked the empty cuff to the head board.
He said, "Rub your clit, whore."
We're Irish Catholic, so it really hurts a girl to be called "whore" and "slut."
I reached between my legs with my free hand and rubbed my clit. Three strokes and I came.
I could tell that he was poking me with his penis. I begged him, "Please, not in my vagina. I'm a virgin, I swear on the Virgin Mary and the all the saints, I want to stay one, please, please." I had never done that before, sworn on the Virgin and all the saints. Only my grandmother did that in our family, my mom and my uncle's mother.
He laughed, a rather cruel laugh, I think. "Quite the conundrum we have here, don't you think?"
I couldn't help myself, I giggled. "F*** my ass instead, f*** my ass, f*** my ass," I begged. I had never used that word before, and of course I didn't just say "F" either, but I'd heard girls in his nasty movies say just that as they were sodomized by some guy. But sometimes I did use the word "ass," and not to mean a donkey like Sister Luke sometimes does. I only said it so that he'd do that instead of taking my virginity.