Hidden Desires Pt. 01byDru_Druthers©
Author's note: One of the core themes of this story is the subject of being born intersex. If you are not interested in such a subject then please move on.
Jade O'Connor Anders was in the prime of her life. At twenty-seven she was strikingly beautiful and seemed to have it all. She was a top literary agent in a successful company, had been married for four wonderful years to a handsome and successful man, and was entertaining the idea of having a baby.
Having come from a somewhat odd mix of Irish and Asian stock, she was five feet seven with well proportioned curves that caused men and women alike to suddenly take notice in a way that made them all tingle uncomfortably. Her straight jet-black hair and slightly Asian eyes gave her an exotic quality that was irresistible. Those alluring eyes were what had drawn Michael Anders to her in the first place.
Jade was in her third year of college when she and Michael met. He was twenty five, three years her senior. They had a whirl wind romance, became engaged and shortly thereafter they were married. Michael found success in real estate and with a few well placed investments; they had managed to become financially comfortable.
Counting what Jade contributed to the finances they could be considered wealthy having a nice three bedroom house, each their own car, a vacation cottage and a small boat.
Though the romance was missing of late, the sex was still good though somewhat infrequent. Thinking about it on occasion, Jade just thought it was because of the demanding schedule they both kept. How wrong she was.
Arriving at her office promptly at eight, Jade was greeted by her assistant Greg. He was a handsome and dedicated young man of twenty two with a sharp intellect and unnerving wit. He was also openly and quite flamingly gay.
After a frustrating meeting, Jade was prepping for her main event of the day, an afternoon contract renewal for one of the company's major clients. Going through her files she realized that the all important contract was not with her. Thinking back, Jade realized that the contract was sitting at home on her desk.
Cursing herself for the mistake, she quickly had Greg clear her schedule for the hour it would take to run home and return with the file.
* * * *
The first oddity Jade noticed was that her husband's car was in the drive way. She didn't really think much about it because she usually left before him and thought that maybe he was carpooling.
The second hint was that the front door was locked but the alarm was off. Still Jade didn't see a problem. Perhaps he had left in a hurry so he didn't remember to turn it on.
Jade hurried across the living room to her office door. As her hand grasped the doorknob she froze. There was the distinct sound of her husband's voice floating through the halls.
Her office forgotten, Jade slowly moved to the back of the house to where the bedrooms were located. As she got closer, she could distinctly hear Michael's voice.
"Fuck yeah...That's it...Harder...Do it harder."
The bedroom door was opened slightly and as Jade peeked inside she felt the bile rise in her throat. There, reflected in the vanity's mirror was Michael on his hands and knees on their bed and a blonde woman with a strap-on, fucking him in the ass.
As Jade forced herself to look away, her rage was rising. She had a temper, a gift from her Irish heritage but it was also tempered by the lessons learned from her Japanese grandfather.
She took a couple of steps back from the door. Breathing deeply she listened as her grandfather's voice passed through her head. She was reminded of her own inner strength, her personal honor and her independence.
She did not need to cause a scene; she would not shame herself in front of them by losing it. There would be time enough for that later. She blocked out Michael's voice and focused on her breathing. Then she concentrated on organizing her thoughts.
Killing him and his bitch was out of the question. Homicide was not the answer no matter how justifiable. Divorce was the only viable option but first, a little insurance was needed.
Steeling herself, Jade retrieved her smart phone from her pocket and set it to video record mode. She silently tipped the door open and aimed it at the couple, taking about a minute of footage. They were so into what they were doing that they didn't even notice her.
After getting as much proof as she needed she could have just left, but her pride demanded that she have her say. She secured the phone back in her jacket pocket then walked into the bedroom.
Her face was a mask of calm as she stood watching them.
"Having a good time Michael?" she asked her voice cold as a winter storm. The blonde screamed, nearly pulled out too quickly, and scrambled to cover herself as Michael turned pale.
"Ja—Ja—Jade," he stuttered, unable to think of anything to say.
"Don't bother Michael. There's nothing you could say. I want you gone by the time I get home from work. Take only what you own, you will be served with the divorce papers by the end of the week."
"Jade." He tried again but she was having none of it.
"Save it. I really don't care; after this I will not see you again. Contact Paula if you have anything to say."
With that Jade turned on her heel, she walked out the bedroom, out the house and left. The reason for coming home suddenly forgotten, she drove on auto pilot to Paula Kline's office. It wasn't until she was sitting on Paula's small sofa that she began to cry.
Paula Kline was a successful attorney who specialized in family law. She had been Jade's closest friend since college and loved the woman as the sister she never had.
She was accustomed to Jade being a strong individual; in all the years they had been friends she had never seen her fazed by anything. To see her weeping and trembling was disconcerting and Paula's heart broke.
She held her friend in her arms but was at a loss for how to help. All Jade had managed to say, was that she found out Michael was cheating on her.
It took a full half hour before Jade had calmed enough to speak. She was curled up on Paula's small office sofa, her head in Paula's lap, her eyes swollen and red.
"Are you feeling a little better now?" Paula asked. Jade nodded and croaked out a yes. She sat up and wiped her face. Paula got up and went to her cabinet. She poured a large scotch and wordlessly handed it to Jade.
Jade downed it in one gulp and hissed as it went down her throat. When Paula sat back down, Jade saw the large wet spot on the front of her blouse where Jade had buried her face while she cried.
"I'm sorry, your blouse," Jade said. Paula waved her apology away.
"I didn't mean to break down like that."
"Oh don't apologize, you needed it. Are you okay enough to tell me what happened?"
"Oh Paula, that bastard," Jade started, her voice becoming hard.
"I left a contract at home and went to get it. I walked into my house and found him and his bitch whore in my bed and they were, God, they were..." she couldn't go on.
"Oh, honey, I'm so sorry." Paula said sympathetically, sensing what Jade had walked in on. Though she had never been married nor had a lover cheat on her, she had had many cases where one spouse had cheated on the other and saw all the hurt and pain it caused.
"I'm done with him Paula; I'm divorcing him immediately. I don't want anything more to do with him, not after what I saw them doing."
"It's alright. I know you'll never be able to look at your bed or the house for that matter, the same way again. You can stay with me if it'll help until you figure things out."
"Thanks, but I need to pull myself together and I don't want to hide from it. Those tears were the last I'll shed over this," Jade said with steel in her voice. This was the Jade Paula was used to seeing.
"Alright, no beating the bushes then, I'll start the paperwork. Do you think he'll want to contest?"
"Oh he'll think twice before he tries, I have some very damaging evidence," Jade said acidly.
"What kind of evidence?"
Jade took out her phone and pulled up the video she took.
"I was shocked and hurt but I have never been a fool," Jade said as she handed Paula the device.
"Oh Jade," was all Paula could say. She shook her head and looked up at her.
"Did you have any idea at all?" she asked.
"No. I mean how could I? We were fine; at least I thought we were. I didn't know he wanted to take it up the ass either."
"Well sadly I can't say that this is a unique situation. I've had other cases like this before."
"No, not at all. Anal sex for men is a very taboo subject. The stigma is that if you want that, then you're gay. However just like anal is pleasurable for women, it is for men too and more so because of the prostate thing. Many are ashamed and they don't tell their wives for fear of ridicule, so they go out and get it on with someone where there are no judgments."
Jade looked at her friend with narrow eyes.
"How do you know so much about this?"
"As I said, I've had cases in the past. I can't discuss details but I can tell you in broad strokes about what I found out while in the process of these cases," Paula said simply.
Jade nodded. "So, this is a normal sexual thing, but he didn't want to come to me with it," Jade thought aloud.
"Well think about it," Paula said, "If Michael came and said 'Jade, sweetie, I want you to strap a dildo on and fuck my ass with it', what would your reaction be?"
"I would have thought he was crazy. I mean strap-on toys and such are for lesbians, not for guys."
"Well that's only half correct but I understand your thinking. Now tell me, you love Michael don't you?"
"Yes, of course."
"And if he didn't want a divorce and wanted you to forgive him and be with him, could you?"
"I..." Jade paused in mid-speech. Did she want Michael after what happened? Could she be with him after knowing that he was with another woman, that he wanted sex in the ass?
"Jade?" Paula's voice brought her back from her thoughts. "Could you put on a harness and fuck your husband if that's what it took to stay happily married to him?" Paula asked.
Jade tried to picture herself in the blonde's place. A few moments later, she knew the answer.
A month later Jade was packing the last of her things. Paula had pushed things along quickly, the divorce was final and she was moving out. At first she wanted to keep the house, but after going back home that first afternoon, she almost screamed at the memory on entering her bedroom.
She had come to terms with him wanting to be fucked in the ass but she couldn't get past the betrayal. His cheating instead of coming to her and talking had cut her deeply. She may not have been able to strap it on and mount him but at least they could have parted on better terms. She regretted that too, but it couldn't be helped.
She still wasn't speaking to him, but in the end she was amicable enough to split everything without argument. She kept the vacation cottage and Michael kept the boat. He also retained the house and paid Jade for her half of the house's worth.
Jade had spent the last few weeks in what was now solely her vacation cottage. She had taken the past month off to work through everything and, at Paula's urgings, had even seen a counselor to sort through her feelings. Now she was ready to go back to work and was searching for a new place to live.
The commute from work to the cottage was too long so she took Paula up on her offer to stay until she found a new place. It was like hanging out in college all over again. They went out to dinner and stayed up late talking. It was fun and Jade didn't realize how much she missed being with her friend.
Since her marriage they had drifted as friends; they lived and worked in the same city but, she realized, didn't see each other as much as she would have liked. They emailed every so often to say hi and let the other know they were okay but otherwise Jade could count on one hand how many times they had dinner together before her divorce.
The house hunt was slow, and she was worrying that she was putting a cramp in Paula's style. She was living with Paula for over two months now and the woman never dated nor had anyone over. Those feelings were reinforced by the phone conversation Jade over heard. Paula had declined going out for the evening. She decided to broach the subject after dinner.
"Paula, honey, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what's up?"
"Sweetie, I'm sorry but I overheard your conversation earlier. You passed up a chance to go out and I can only surmise that it was because of me."
Paula smiled at her friend.
"It's alright Jade. You need me more right now than I need to be out with my other friends. What kind of friend would I be if I abandoned you?"
"Paula I'm fine. I'm doing well according to my counselor. I've come to terms with this whole thing with Michael and being divorced. My parents have even let up on wanting to come down and comfort me. You can go out and have a good time Paula. You're my friend and I love you so go, meet with your friends, have some fun, hell even bring someone home. You know I'm a heavy sleeper," Jade finished with a grin.
"Well, it has been a while since I've been out with the girls," Paula said with a smile.
"Then go and have fun."
"You want to come along?"
"Nah I don't want to impose," Jade said.
"No imposition, you'd be more than welcomed."
"That's sweet of you but no thanks, but you go, please."
"Alright. You're sure you'll be okay?" Paula asked again.
"Yes mom, I'll be fine. I have some work to do and then I'm off to bed."
"Okay then, I'll get changed and head out," Paula said as she gave Jade a quick hug and rushed to her bedroom.
Jade settled on the couch and dove into her paperwork. A few minutes later Paula emerged. Jade looked up and her jaw dropped as she barely recognized her friend.
Since moving in with Paula, Jade was used to seeing her in pants suits, jeans and t-shirts and the occasional pair of shorts but now Paula was in black biker boots, black tight fitting leather pants, a white wife-beater shirt and a black leather jacket. Her long, dark brown hair was tied in a pony tail.
Paula had discovered her bisexuality after college so Jade had never seen this side of her before.
"You alright Jade?" Paula asked with a slight smile, seeing the obvious shock on Jade's face.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Jade uttered, pulling herself together when she realized she was staring.
Paula laughed lightly. "You do remember I play both fields don't you?"
"Yeah. I just don't remember you being so, so..."
"So what Jade?" Paula asked with a serious look.
Jade didn't want to offend her friend and tried to tread very carefully.
"I apologize if I'm coming off as offending," she started, but was interrupted.
"Aw damn Jade, I was just playing with you," Paula said, her face breaking into a wide grin.
"Fuck Paula, I don't want to be insensitive or anything like that," Jade said shaking her head.
"It's alright J; I know this is new territory for you. The term you were searching for is butch, if you don't want to offend anyone that is."
"Right. And do you always dress like this when going out?"
"Only when I'm looking for a sexy little femme."
"And this is the best way to get one. Can't you just be the other you that I see every day?" Jade asked seriously.
"I could but truthfully, most of the femmes that frequent the club I'm going to prefer a butch woman to a regular one. If I want to score, I gotta be what the ladies demand. Besides, when I go after a girl, that's just what I want, a sweet little girly girl to fill my bed. If I want masculine, then I dress up pretty and find myself a man. It's my own way of life as a bisexual woman."
"I guess that makes sense, and if it's what's right for you, I can't argue. So I take it you're going to be looking for a one nighter? " Jade said, finding a new understanding of Paula's lifestyle. She had missed so much of Paula's life and was happy she now had the chance to know her friend again.
"Glad you got it and yes, one night of pure unadulterated sex with a beautiful girl. Am I freaking you out with this kind of talk?" Paula asked.
Jade smiled at her friend. "Never Paula. You are my best friend and I just want you to be happy."
"Good. Don't wait up," Paula said with a wink and a friendly pat on Jade's arm. Jade decided she liked this side of Paula. She seemed more relaxed and complete.
A persistent bladder caused a very sleepy Jade to rise from her bed and seek relief. She went to the bathroom, but she didn't notice Paula's bedroom door was cracked, or the quiet sounds emanating from Paula's room. Coming out, being more awake, she noticed the unmistakable sounds of a woman in the throes of passion.
Having a moment of déjà vu, Jade found herself at Paula's door peering through the crack. The room was dimly lit but there was enough light for Jade to see clearly what was taking place. Her eyes became glued to the bed.
There was a young woman, naked and utterly beautiful, flat on her back on the bed. Her skin was alabaster and seemed to glow in the gentle light. Her hair was dark and fell elegantly around her head that was propped on a pillow. Her chest heaved with every breath and her generous breasts jiggled with her movements. Her legs were spread wide and lying on her stomach between them was a mostly naked Paula, who had her face buried in the young woman's pussy.
Jade was enthralled by what she was seeing. She knew women had sex with each other but never thought about what it was like. The dark-haired young woman was writhing under Paula's ministrations. Her hand, the one Jade could see, was clawing at the bed sheet, and the sounds that both women were making were noises of the purest ecstasy.
"Oh god baby, I'm so close, right there, oh god, yessssss. That's so good, baby, so good," the young woman panted out.
Jade watched with rapt attention as Paula reached a hand up and pinched one of the girl's nipples rather hard. That's all it took. She let out a high pitched scream and her hips lifted off of the bed. Paula had to hold on for dear life as the young woman's body stiffened then thrashed.
Jade had never in her wildest dreams thought that a woman could climax like that. She certainly never had.
Paula moved up and held the young woman close, kissing and stroking her gently as she came down from her sexual high.
"So, you ready to call it a night Lauren?" Paula asked as she held her companion tightly to her.
"Hell no, you promised to fuck me till I pass out, and as you can see, I'm still awake."
"Very well then, on to round two," Paula said with a sensual smile.
Jade watched as Paula rose from the bed. She was wearing what Jade thought were panties, but Paula retrieved something from the drawer of her bed side table and placed it at the front of what she was wearing. When Paula turned slightly, Jade's eyes went wide. Dangling from in front of Paula's body was a long, thick, flesh colored phallus.
Jade had had sex with only two men, her first and only boyfriend in high school and her husband, and neither of them was as endowed as what Paula was packing.
Jade heard the gasp of surprise from young Lauren when she also saw the size of Paula's equipment.
"Like my new toy baby? Think you can handle all of this?" Paula asked as she stroked the dildo affectionately. Lauren's reply was to spread her legs widely apart inviting Paula to take her. Whether it was as she thought it was or not, Jade had the impression that the girl's eyes were riveted with unbelievable excitement as she watched Paula and the phallus.