Hildy Ch. 02bythe Troubador©
Chapter 02: She Thought It Was Revenge
Even now, I can't help it. I have to fight the tears whenever I think about what I did, and what it almost cost.
I really loved him, and knew he loved me; I just knew it.
That's why it hurt so much when Jonas told me Brian had been unfaithful to me.
We met in college as part of a group. A group of friends taking their first step to conquer the world. And Brian and I, gradually we fell in love. Despite the fact that some of our friends, as part of the 'experimentation' of college, were jumping from bed to bed, while claiming to be going with one person, we only wanted each other and stayed that way. While Brian wasn't my first and I wasn't his, we new we were meant for each other.
For one thing, our sex life was great. We both desired to please the other. Each of us occasionally took pleasure in devoting extended periods to pleasuring the other orally, by hand and even with toys. Sometimes even postponing our own physical pleasure for the emotional high we received pleasuring the other. It more than made up for any delay in our own release, in fact intensifying it when it arrived.
In addition it seemed like we were always attuned to each other. Friends and family alike told us we seemed to be the perfect couple, as perfect as one could be.
After we graduated our bond got stronger until we finally married. During our time together prior to our marriage, we had talked about the importance of fidelity, how it impacted trust and respect and we solemnly assured one another that we would always be faithful.
We strove to ensure that sex, such an important part of our relationship and marriage, didn't just become habit. We would role play and act out our fantasies with each other.
That's why when it happened, I couldn't believe it; not at first. We had been the first of our college group to get married, Bob and Beverly were the second. It was at their wedding when the bomb burst.
I was in the washroom with some of the other girls, still all single though paired with a nice guy, when one of them started talking about the bachelor party the night before. I think it was Shirley and we were all feeling more than tiddly after all the champagne and booze. Apparently their had been a stripper, which wasn't a surprise. Knowing the guys it would have surprised us if there weren't. What I heard next caused me a great deal of concern. Apparently after her performance she physically entertained many of the guests, either with blow jobs or in some cases by doing the dirty with them, taking them into a back room..
Had my Brian been unfaithful to me? At first I couldn't believe he could have, but I had to find out. So I started asking some of those who had been there, nobody at first would admit that he had participated, but then nobody told me to relax, either, that he had kept it in his pants.
I was so upset I started asking the guys about it and of course none of them claimed to have any knowledge of anyone having sex at the party. I was fuming, what else could I expect from a bunch of guys. But then I talked to Jonas, and he told me that, yes, my husband had gone in the back room where the action occurred, and to his knowledge, all who went back there, 'had their fun.'
I was devastated, I wanted to confront him, but knew I couldn't in front of everybody. Instead I got madder and madder, as I drank more and more.
When we got home Brian had to help me inside. I wouldn't talk to him, just went to bed. Despite what I had had to drink, it was hard to sleep. I couldn't believe how he could profess all these years how important fidelity was, how he would never be unfaithful to me. Yet he then he had, with a stripper no less, and now he was trying to act as though nothing had happened.
The next morning I woke up fighting horrible pain from drinking too much, and facing the awful truth. I could hardly think I hurt so much, but still wrestled with the choices I faced; do I confront him, and leave his cheating ass, or do I somehow get even, letting him see how much he had hurt me.
Finally, I decided I still loved him, but unless he confessed without my prompting him, then I would have to get even. I thought that once this occurred and he felt what I felt, we may be able to move on. But I knew that without making him feel the hurt I felt, then I would not be able to carry on, for the equal footing that was a key to our love would be lost.
All that day I hoped he would confess, but that bastard went on as though nothing had happened.
Did love, trust and faithfulness mean so little to Brian?
Finally that night I told him to go sleep in one of the other rooms.
Can you believe it, he thought I wanted to act out one of my fantasies! I didn't say word, just went back to our bedroom and locked the door behind me after throwing his pillow into the hall. That got his attention, he started on, "Hildy, what's the matter, lets talk, why are you so upset?" Like the cheating bastard didn't know.
When we got up the next morning, he kept at me for an explanation. Finally I told him, "Listen, I know what went on at the bachelor party and I know what you did. How could you do that to us?"
Even then he denied it. I guess he thought that if he pretended it didn't happen, I would believe him. Huh, I guess he didn't know me as well as I thought he did. Well, our talk got pretty heated, but still he didn't see how he had hurt me. Finally I told him, "The only way we would be able to keep together was if I showed him how much he had hurt me." Then I turned and stomped away, leaving him standing there trying to look perplexed and innocent.
Finally things quieted down, though he still wouldn't admit it or try and apologize for what he had done. He left the house to do yard work and we kept out of each other's way.
Don't get me wrong, while I thought we had a great relationship, it wasn't perfect, we had had our disagreements, but never like this. This time we were going out of our way to avoid each other. What had happened was cut too close to the core of our love.
As I sat in the house, I knew I had to do it, I had to get him to feel my hurt, and how much it meant to me, if we were to survive. The only way to do that would be to be unfaithful to him. After that, he would see what he had done, and then we could try and work things out.
Now I knew that I just couldn't go out and have an affair, and then tell him about it, or hope he found out. He wouldn't believe me. No, I had to force him to see it, and believe it, to personally feel the pain that he had caused me.
Even in my anger and hurt I should have realized that this was pushing the envelope, but I was lost in my feelings.
After considering various ways, it hit me, Jonas! I would get Jonas involved, after all he was the only one who confirmed Brian's involvement at the bachelor party, and I knew he had always been attracted to me.
I called Jonas and told him that I wanted to meet him for coffee, as I had something important to discuss. We met late that afternoon, while my husband was keeping himself busy and out of my way. At first Jonas tried to back away from confirming my husband's infidelity, but once I outlined the plan, including having sex with him, he reluctantly confirmed it and agreed to help me.
With his agreement in hand, I set things in motion. Through a friend of Jonas's, we obtained something to put Brian into a deep sleep, which I snuck into his pre bed snack.
After he fell asleep, I got things ready with Jonas helping me. We took the legs off an old table and rolled my sleeping husband onto it, tying him to it with some of his neckties. To prevent him from waking the neighbors by screaming, I stuffed an old dirty tee shirt into his mouth. We stood the table up against the wall in the second bedroom, where he had to see the bed and wouldn't be able to turn away.
Then I told Jonas to wait downstairs as I went to get ready. I stripped off my clothes and had a shower, knowing it would still be awhile until Brian came out of his drugged sleep. As I stood there, tears were rolling down my cheeks. I knew I really didn't want to be unfaithful, the thought of it was enough to make me sick. Yet I felt that if I didn't go through with this, our marriage would not survive my hurt, which was intensified by his refusal to admit doing anything wrong.
Once out of the shower, I sprayed myself with perfume, applied make up and dressed in my sexiest peignoir. Then I went back to the guestroom and waited. Finally, Brian started to stir.
"Well, it took you long enough to wake up, Welcome to the world," I told him as I took off his blindfold.
As he looked at me I could see his penis stir and stand straight up. "Good!" I thought to myself. "He thinks we are going to play a game. Well, we were, but not the one he expects."
"Husband, I told you the only way I could get through your cheating was to show you how I feel when I think of you with that dirty whore."
I could see that he was trying to talk but couldn't with the tee shirt stuffed in his mouth, so I told him "I see you found out that you can't talk your way out of this one. Well husband, I wondered who I could get to help me show you how it feels, and decided it would be best if it was one of your friends. Jonas seems a little uneasy with this and today he's claiming he wasn't sure you were fucking that whore, but when the truth and liquor were in him he told me you were."
And with that I walked out and called Jonas up to the room, to his credit he went up to him and apologized but told him that he thought it best if a friend helped me out.
Then he turned to me and I kissed him, harder and harder, trying to make it as hot as I could. It was surprisingly hard. Jonas really wasn't much of a kisser. I gave him a lesson in how to guess a woman in heat. Even that wasn't easy, because I wasn't really turned on. But I was sure going to make Brian think I was!
Soon I felt Jonas' hand caressing my bare breast under the peignoir.. Even though I was bothered by the fact that it wasn't my husband's hand, knowing he had to watch and knowing he had to feel the hurt pushed me on.
I took a deep breath before I knelt down before Jonas, undoing his pants and pulling them down to his ankles along with his shorts. As I rubbed my hand along his hard cock, I turned him so my husband could see what I was doing.
"Oh, Jonas, what a very, very large cock. Can I taste it?" I turned my eyes to look at my husband as Jonas was telling me how good that felt, then I leaned forward and took the big purple plum of his cockhead into my mouth. As I did, I couldn't keep the guilt from shaking my body, I shouldn't be doing this. I only wanted my husband, but I had to do this if I was to have my husband, to preserve our marriage.
I thought I saw tears in Brian's eyes as I moved my mouth up and down the length of Jonas's cock, pulling it into my mouth but not yet deep throating him. While neither of us had discussed our previous lovers Brian always told me I sucked cock like nobody else. From Jonas's reaction, I knew he enjoyed it to and I intended to give him one of my best. Even this was hard, as he didn't taste all that good, not like Brian..
I hoped that as Brian watched, looking into my eyes while I did this, he would understand what I was doing wasn't an act of love or affection for Jonas. I wanted to be sure he could see my sorrow.
Still, I was giving it my best. Suddenly Jonas reached down and pulled me closer, driving his shaft deep into my throat. I had been hoping to avoid deep throating him, it was done now so I reached out to squeeze his balls as he erupted into my throat, I reacted by swallowing every drop, despite the fact I was almost choking.
Unlike the many times that Brian and I did it, this time I didn't derive any pleasure from it. The act of doing it hurt me too, but hopefully not as much as my cheating husband. As Jonas pulled out of my mouth, I kept eye contact with my husband, making sure he was watching as I reached out with my tongue and cleaned off Jonas's cock. I made certain to swallow all of his spunk.
Despite my empty feeling, I didn't object when Jonas picked me up and laid me on the bed. He started caressing me, running his hands over my breasts, then taking my nipples into his mouth while he reached down and started playing with my pussy. He was a more aggressive than I liked, but when he started playing with my clit I couldn't help myself and started to respond.
As he knelt down between my spread legs to start to tonguing my pussy, I looked over at Brian, and saw he had closed his eyes so he didn't have to watch. Well, I couldn't have that! So I screamed out, pretending passion, forcing him to open his eyes and watch, thinking that I was enjoying it much more than I really was, Making him listen as I was telling Jonas how good he was.
As I stared up at Jonas, I forced myself to forget who I was with and found myself enjoying it. Eventually I reached a mild orgasm, though I overacted as to the intensity, in part to get back at Brian, and in part to repay Jonas for helping me out with my plan.
After a short rest, Jonas was ready again, partly because I was playing with his cock. As he was hard I let him enter me. By this time I knew that my husband could only focus so much, so I ignored him and tried to enjoy the fucking that I was receiving. It wasn't all that bad, if I had been out to enjoy myself. Still, compared to what Brian and I did it was pretty mediocre. Despite that, I kept moaning and shouting encouragement at Jonas, telling how good he was.
The worst part was the way Jonas pounded into me. I knew I would have bruises tomorrow, on the insides of my thighs, on and maybe even inside my pussy. He was very rough.
This went on for some time and for a time we actually fell asleep together. I know much of it must have became a blur to Brian, it sure did to me. Through the hurt and the guilt I felt as I fucked with our friend while my husband was forced to watch.
Finally I woke up, feeling very sore between my legs and reached out to hold my husband only to realize the man with me wasn't my husband.
Now that it was over, I felt disgust for what I had done, as much as I felt it was needed. I looked over in sadness for the first time, rather than the hurt or anger I earlier felt, at my husband tied up to the table standing against the wall His eyes seemed to be half open, which I took to mean he was watching while trying not to watch. Had I gone too far?
No, I wanted one last shot at making him feel the hurt I had felt, so I leaned over and took Jonas's cock into my mouth, my half hearted efforts at making it stand had no result. So I suggested that it was enough, and led him into our bathroom to shower, letting him go first.
Once I had sluiced the muck and slime from my body I put on my regular robe, belting it tightly around myself, and went with Jonas back into the guest room. I don't know why, perhaps the desire to give him some relief, but I approached my husband and bent over before his shrunken cock, saying "Ooh, that little bittsy thing looks lonely."
With that I reached out and started to rub it, but didn't receive any response. Feeling a little guilty, I tried to suck it into my mouth, but still it didn't react. Feeling a little hurt that I couldn't get him to respond, I told him "Well its just as well, dearest, I was only going to get him good and stiff and let him enjoy the air."
I looked around and Jonas was getting dressed, so I though it fair to release my captive. But as I tried the knots they wouldn't loosen. It was then, as I looked more closely I could see that as he had struggled the ties had been embedded deep into his skin, breaking the skin, The wounds looked really nasty. For a moment I wondered in disgust why he hadn't told me he was in pain. Then I realized I had gagged him thoroughly and he was unable to communicate in any way. He had bled into the ties, the dried blood tightening the knots making it impossible to untie them. As I looked up, I realized what I had done, and that he was physically hurting, not just emotionally as had been my intent.
As I struggled to undue the knots, my feelings intensified, "What had I done?" I ran out to get some scissors to help, but the flesh swollen around the ties prevented me from getting under them to cut them.
Feeling more and more panicked, I ran to get a pocketknife, and using the small blade was slowly able to cut the ties.
I had cut the ties from around his legs, and then his arms, before realizing that the tee shirt was still in his mouth. It wasn't until that moment I became aware he was having trouble breathing. In a panic I began yanking at the wadded dirty T-shirt. To my horror I couldn't at first pull the cloth out of his mouth. All the saliva his mouth had been sending to wet his dry mouth had been absorbed by the cloth which had then swollen until it more than filled his oral cavity. I had to pull short pieces out, cut them off, then pull more out. It was a lengthy process. As I finally pulled it out I almost cried as I could see and hear him gasping for air. All the time I was doing this I was giving thanks he had not vomited, which would have completely blocked his nasal passages. As it was, he had been crying and the tears and snot produced by weeping had almost completely closed his air passages. He had been smothering to death just feet from me and Jonas as I fucked and sucked him. I wondered if he was even aware I had at least refused Jonas my ass. It was something Brian and I had never done. Brian had no real interest in trying it, and I had been afraid of the pain. I certainly wasn't letting another man use me in a way I had not allowed my husband.
"What have I done, what have I done" I kept asking myself as I worked, fear replacing the hurt, anger and sadness that had filled me earlier.
I tried to help him stand but he screamed and fell to the floor, his legs too cramped and his ankles too swollen and wounded to hold him. The sound of that scream is something I'll never forget. By now I was crying, I hadn't meant to hurt him this way. I tried again to help him stand but as I did he roughly pushed me out of the way with his elbows, his wrists too sore to let his hands be used. It took him a while and a lot of pain, but he finally staggered to his feet.
Jonas was struggling, hurrying to get his shoes on, but having some difficulties as he watched us. He wasn't fast enough. Brian got to him, noting the fear in his eyes alongside the sexual satisfaction showing on Jonas's face. In a voice I didn't recognize Brian told him, amongst other things, that if he ever saw him again he would put him in the hospital. Then looking steadily into the bigger man's eyes, speaking slowly as if to a slow child, he said, "If I ever...ever... see you again... near Hildy... it will... be a longer stay. One you might never come home from."
As Jonas left I went to my husband, wanting to apologize for some of the extremes I had gone to; but also to let him know we were even. I started to say him "Now we can talk, I think now I can get beyond what you did ..." I meant to say more but the look he gave me shut me up, and I just watched as he got dressed.
I followed him to the front door from the room. As he reached it, he turned to look at me and my heart sank at his words.
"Hildy, I'm very glad that you can now live with me doing something I never did."
"But, but I heard..." I started to gasp, when he cut me off with a glance while slicing his hand down, cutting my words off.
"A marriage is built on trust, Hildy, and you took a drunken rumor being passed around to titillate the guests at a party as truth, rather than what I was telling you. I don't know how many men went with that woman at the bachelor party. I'm only sure that Bob never did and that I never did. Some did, I have no idea how many or who"