Note: You can change font size, font face, and turn on dark mode by clicking the "A" icon tab in the Story Info Box.
You can temporarily switch back to a Classic Literotica® experience during our ongoing public Beta testing. Please consider leaving feedback on issues you experience or suggest improvements.
Click hereHomemade Ornaments
Night falls and shadows
close as his mind contorts to pressure
without pleasure. Memories
flee and bones remain. Why?
runs through his mind, over and over
like a water wheel lifting nourishment
only to balance as images flash,
to tip, pouring away joy
leaving a slurry of slices
that no scavenger
can chew. Hour after hour,
night after night, he sits, tiered
questions stream
from red eyes until hollows
remain. A branch
leans against the corner, remnants
of his daughters’ love scaled down
to two pieces of card
and wool. Ornaments that dangle
and dazzle cast sparkling lights
into a broken room
of near-silent sobs.
TRM....when he first started reading you was less than a week ago for being a brand spanking new poet <grin> ..hehehe....
very nice poem wild~
Structurally, there is no comparison between your writing now and when I first started reading you. The advance in sophistication has been rapid. I still think you need to improve word choice, be much more picky with it, to not only ensure clarity but also to stay clear of everyone's natural tendency toward cliche.