I Dream of SuziebyCromagnonman©
I don't know why I took her on as a client, apart from the fact that she is a very attractive woman and the thought of her going through a divorce presented a dream opportunity for me to jump her bones, I mean make love to her. The reality of it was that this would only ever be a dream, she was so far out of my league that she wasn't even in the same stratosphere and my chances were rated as Buckley's and none, with Buckley's not looking real bright at the moment.
I am a Lawyer of modest means, and I don't count wealthy or famous people as clients. I do bread and butter litigation, the odd Family Law matter, neighbourhood disputes, saving the little man from the robber barons, and bad debts are what keep me vaguely solvent.
I live on my own but not from choice, it's just that I can't live with my parents because I'll never be able to live up to my father's standards or my mother's ambitions for me and I have never had any luck in the romance stakes, which could have something to do with not wanting to venture outside my comfort zone. In my office and in court I can deliver a clear and concise performance but take me away from these places and I become a jibbering fool.
Getting back to the client of my dreams, Suzie Masters came into my office like a lost sheep and told me that she wanted to divorce her husband. Then she told me that she didn't want to divorce her husband. A couple of tissues and a cup of coffee later it came out. She is married to a very important person around town who had recently went on a business trip to Los Angeles where, it appeared, he was having a torrid affair with a young and very attractive Australian person of the aspiring actress persuasion who just happened to bump into him. He had known Katie Fallon in Melbourne when she was a star of sorts on 'Neighbours', a long running teen focussed soap opera that spawned such famous people as Kylie Minogue and Guy Pearce. She was hoping to emulate their success and fame, and for some reason decided that a public affair with my client's husband might just give her the publicity impetus that would attract the attention of the right people in Hollywood.
She was snapped by the paparazzi lunching with Tyson (my client's husband) and they were seen going to her small apartment and to his hotel room and when questioned by the tabloids she coyly issued a 'no comment' with just the right tone to her voice that said that she was protecting his reputation and marriage but that they were going at it like a couple of rabbits.
"I don't know what to do." Suzie sobbed. "My friends all tell me that I should take the bastard to the cleaners and my parents just say that they don't want to influence me in any way and I should follow my heart. Tyson's parents told me that they had spoken to him and that he'd denied the whole thing as a media beat up started by her US agent. I don't know what to believe."
"Do you love him?" I asked, hoping for her to tell me that she didn't.
"Yes I do, that's the problem for me, but does he still love me? I'm not sure, half of me wants to believe in his innocence while the other half rationalises that if he did still love me he wouldn't have allowed himself to get into this situation, a sort of 'where there's smoke there's fire' scenario. Help me, what can I do?"
"First things first, you have to decide is whether you want to file for divorce or whether you want to save your marriage because, if you do decide on the latter I suggest that you seek counselling and sort out your feelings for each other. If after that you decide that you want to file for divorce then come back, or if you want to move straight to divorce proceedings then I'll take you through the steps so that you don't get railroaded into giving up on any entitlements. One thing that I should emphasise is if you choose to go down that path; don't get too greedy, get the wrong judge on the wrong day and you'll end up with much less than you're entitled to."
"If you have any doubts about the evidence against your husband then tell me so that I can look into it. It's not unheard of for some attention seeker to fabricate evidence for his, or her, own benefit and, if that's the case then there are other avenues open to us before it gets out of hand. It's up to you. What I want you to do is to have a think about this, take time away, go somewhere quiet away from anyone offering advice and think about your next step before you leap in at the deep end because, believe me, this is an expensive exercise. There will be no charge for today but if you come back the clock will start ticking and every second I spend on your behalf will cost you and, while my charges aren't as high as most lawyers, I don't come cheap."
"Thank you for your time, I'll take your advice and call a time out. If I decide to go ahead with the divorce then I'll ring and make an appointment to see you."
"Ring anyway, if you decide on counselling I can recommend a good counsellor who will offer impartial advice, she's not some raving feminist who's out to help you castrate your husband." I shook her hand and she left, she left me wondering why I wanted to help her save her marriage instead of urging her down the divorce path and into my bed. Okay there's little likelihood of that ever happening but I believe that it is possible for dreams to come true.
I thought no more about Suzie for five days. That's a lie, I thought about her several hundred times and each time the fantasy got more real, I could see her naked body in my bed, I could feel her naked body in my bed, and it was driving me so crazy that when she rang to make an appointment I almost crawled down the phone line just to be with her and to comfort her in her hour of need. It was an excruciating wait until 10:00 the next morning, but it was worth every minute.
She came into my office with a new confidence in her step and a smile on her face. "Well what have you decided?"
"I have decided that divorce is the only option open to me. Every day her Facebook page has new revelations of her affair with Tyson, it's as if she has no shame the way that she is flaunting the sordid details in my face. As for him, he refuses to confirm or deny the alleged affair. I just know that he's up to his balls in the slut. I feel like castrating him so that he can get it even further into her not quite twenty year old cunt." Her language was so out of character for her that it shocked me, and that takes some doing.
"Okay, now the decision has been made we must take a step back and look on this situation objectively and don't let our anger get the better of us. We need to compile a list of all the joint and personal assets of your marriage, having established what's involved we will then make a list of our demands. We will aim high but our fallback position will be what we believe to be a fair and equitable division of the assets." I surprised myself at how business-like I sounded when my heart was racing at a thousand miles an hour. If I played my cards right she will be so impressed by me that she will fall into my bed. "I would like to have a look around the marital home and get a feel of how much we're looking at and then I want a look at the company books so that we can get an equity evaluation and income projection. Are you working?"
"I get the occasional singing engagement but they are few and far between because there is little demand for part time operatic sopranos."
"You're kidding right? You are much too slim to be an opera singer." Flattery, I hoped, would improve my chances.
"Not all opera singers these days are fat, it's all about stage craft and presentation, that's why I did NIDA as well as my degree in Music Performance at the Con. (For those who don't have a clue what she's talking about here; NIDA is the National Institute for Dramatic Arts the alma mater of such famous actors as Geoffrey Rush, Cate Blanchette, Mel Gibson and a host of others, and the Con. is the Conservatorium of Music.) I have released a couple of CD's of arias that have sold reasonably well considering the genre, but that's not enough to live on."
"Did you always want to be a singer?"
"Actually no. I started out doing Law but after my first Law review I was approached by a talent scout for the State Opera Company and he suggested that I should switch to music. I'd always liked singing and was in the school choir, but never gave it a lot of thought as a career."
"How did you come to meet Tyson?"
"We were students together, if you look in the university year books you'll find that his real name isn't Tyson Masters, it's Tom Broadbent, and that's why I don't believe that he's innocent of the allegations."
"How is that?"
"Because the paparazzi would not know where he was staying unless he wanted them to know because he'll be registered under his real name, not his professional name."
"But doesn't he have to leave his passport at the hotel, I always do."
"He's got two, a business passport in Tyson Master's name and a personal one in his real name."
"I won't ask how he managed to get that."
"I don't know how he did it but I've seen both and when I asked about them he told me why. Another thing that few people know about is that he actually gets kick-backs from the paparazzi for telling them the where and when of the stars so that they can be there. If they pay up they get more but if they don't he stops feeding them and because it's their livelihood, as well as what they get from the tabloids, they have to stay in his good books."
"So you're telling me that when he was photographed by the paparazzi going into his hotel room with her it wasn't because they were followed but they'd been tipped off and were waiting?"
"Exactly, nothing is left to chance."
"But what about these celebs who complain about their privacy being invaded are they for real or are they just saying that?"
"Oh there are some who value their privacy, but the up and comers want to be noticed and will go out of their way to make sure that it happens, it worked for Paris and Kym so it figures that Katie thinks that it will work for her, and Tyson is just the man to see that her photo appears in the tabloids as often as possible."
"When will the sex video hit the social media I wonder?" This was probably the last question that she would want to have to answer, it's not the sort of thing that a wronged spouse would even consider, but it's the sort of question that someone who fancies her big time would ask, just to sow the seeds of doubt.
"I don't even want to think about that, I've been humiliated enough already."
"When can we have a look at the house and the books?"
"Whenever you want, I'm not doing anything at the moment." I made a show of consulting my appointment book before deciding that I could fit her in straight away.
The house was the type of house that an up and coming image consultant would want to own, it had everything, a home theatre system complete with a massive flat screen 3D LED TV and lots of digital HiFi surround sound speakers, with a large leather sofa strategically placed to gain the full benefit of the system. The cash register that was my mind was in overdrive, Suzie was about to become a very wealthy young woman and thus even more desirable. "I think that we should get an appraiser in to give us a definitive value of the joint assets, as well as an auditor to go over the company books and bank accounts, all of them including yours."
"We are looking at joint assets and that means all assets of the marriage. Now you mentioned earlier that he got kickbacks from the paparazzi for tipping them off as to where his clients would be, I would guess that these payments didn't go through the company books so he must have a separate set of books and bank accounts or somewhere else he can stash the cash." I liked that, 'stash the cash', I must remember it and use it again.
"I don't know of anywhere that he could hide money from me."
"A safe deposit box maybe, or another safe hidden around the house, this one is too obvious."
"The garage, he often spends a lot of time down there and he knows nothing of cars." We trooped down to the garage with its collection of exotica, three cars alone, a Lamborghini the Ferrari and the Aston Martin all would have set him back a fortune. Out of place amongst these glittering masterpieces of automotive art was Suzie's almost mundane C5 Citroen. There was a large tool chest against the wall and when I looked closely at it I could see evidence that it had been moved away from the wall on many occasions and I doubted if he would know how to lift the bonnet of these cars let alone work on them.
"Give me a hand to move this will you?" We pulled and soon had the tool chest away from the wall, revealing a wall safe. "Right, when we go into conference with him and his lawyer we'll demand access to this safe, I'll ask for a Sherriff's officer to accompany him and bring back the contents."
We talked over strategies for a while over a cup of excellent coffee and I left her and went back to my office. I had only just settled into a dull and boring task when the phone rang. It was Suzie in tears. "Turn on your computer and get in to UTube and log onto the 'Katie Fallon sex tape', it's totally disgusting." I got on to the Internet and logged into UTube and she was right, it was disgusting. I couldn't hear what was being said but, as they say in the classics, actions speak louder than words. It was in many ways your typical leaked sex act taken with a lowlight camera so there was a greenish tinge to the images and the contrast was crap, but the action was clear.
It began with a naked kissing session on a bed followed by a lot of groping and fondling before it segued into a sixty-niner with him on his back and cock in the air, and her mouth, while she was straddling his face. Even from the angle it was obvious that his tongue was working overtime because her hips gave every impression that an orgasm was imminent. This lasted for a good ten minutes before they moved into the next position, she moved to one side and he scrambled to his knees behind her, his rigid cock positioning itself at the entrance to her pussy before he pushed it home with a hard hip thrust. The first understandable words were heard; 'Oh god that feels good, harder, harder.' The climax came with him between her legs and her feet almost touching her shoulders, with a grunt he shot his load inside her and as he withdrew he bent down to kiss her pussy, now leaking cum, before lapping up the mess.
Suzie was still on the phone, sobbing quietly. "Look, we had a fair idea this was going to happen and we need to take advantage of the situation, when is he due home?"
"The day after tomorrow, why?"
"If he wants to play dirty then we can play just as dirty back at him. He thrives on generating publicity for his clients it's about time he was on the receiving end of some negative publicity."
"What do you have in mind?"
"I presume that he expects you to meet him at the airport right?"
"Yes, do you think I should?"
"I'd advise against it, I think that it's a demonstration of his arrogance that he expects you to be there, the all loving and forgiving wife, unhurt by the publicity. Well I think that a different reception committee will be in order. How do you think he'll feel if he is met by a divorce petition?"
"He'll shit himself." She chuckled at the prospect. "She's had work done you know." Wow that came right out of the blue.
"You mean Katie's had a boob job?"
"Yep. A couple of years ago at a season wrap pool party for the 'Neighbours' cast and crew she just happened to lose the top of her bikini, while they were nice and perky in an adolescent sort of way they certainly didn't get to their present size without assistance. The network execs at the time tried to keep the incident in house, but vision was leaked and I suspect that Tyson might have been responsible."
"Was she his client then?"
"No but she soon was and her career seemed to advance at a rate that had little to do with her talent, I overheard Tyson say that if she had to survive on her talent as an actor she'd starve but she had other talents."
"You think that he might have begun the affair way back then?"
"No, she was too young even for him to get involved with, but while she might not have been sexually active back then she was certainly a prick tease and knew how to string guys along."
"She sounds like a right little princess."
"Yeah, and look where it's got her, on the threshold of her dream career in Hollywood."
"I have work to do before he comes home. As soon as you know his flight details let me know and I'll have a suitable welcoming committee waiting for him." It was time to use my media contacts for our benefit. I processed the necessary court papers and had them on hand when Suzie rang with the details and when Tyson emerged from the International arrivals he was greeted by a barrage of flashes and a forest of microphones thrust in front of his face. "Mr Masters, is there any truth to the rumours of your affair with Katie Fallon?"
"No comment." He tried to brush past the media throng but they would not be brushed aside.
"Was that you with her in that 'leaked' video?"
"Mr Masters." My man moved forward. "This is for you." He thrust the court papers at Tyson who instinctively took them without realising the significance.
He stopped pushing his trolley and opened the papers, a look of horror and amazement came over his face. "The bitch." He mumbled to himself.
"Mr Masters, why isn't your wife here to meet you?" My tame reporter asked.
"Fucking leave me alone!" He yelled at the reporters and angrily pushed his trolley through the crowd of bemused media.
I smiled and thought of his next shock. As the cab pulled up outside his home he saw a pile of clothes and books and a sign stuck in the lawn beside the pile. 'WOULD YOU KINDLY REMOVE YOUR JUNK FROM MY PROPERTY.'
Tyson stood looking at the front of the house trying to see if there was anyone home. "You fucking bitch, I'll get you for this!" He shouted at the closed curtains. Suzie smiled to herself as he called to the cab as it drove off. The driver chose not to hear, he wasn't going to get mixed up in a domestic. Tyson was angry. Every time he looked at the pile of his belongings his anger for Suzie increased and, in his anger, he couldn't understand why she was doing this to him, after all didn't he provide her with the luxuries that she enjoyed so much? He was also angry with himself for losing it in public and he realised that he was going to have to go into damage control with the media and that was going to mean many smoozing lunches and a great deal of sucking up.
He called for another cab and when it arrived he crammed his clothes into it and told the driver to take him to a motel. The last thing he wanted was to be seen checking in to a hotel. In the morning he would see his lawyer and arrange for a counter suit to Suzie's divorce petition and to arrange access to his house so that he could remove the money and papers from his secret safe. Then he would have to contact his clients to see how the land lay with them, he couldn't afford to let his public outburst cost him clients.
"I've never seen him that angry." Suzie told me as we watched him drive off in the cab. "There have been times when it looked as if he was going to blow up at the stupidity of one of his clients but he always managed to keep it under control."
"I bet that this is the first time that he's been confronted by something as calculated as this, this isn't a case of brain fade or someone letting his cock take control of his thinking, this was planned and he's wondering where it came from, it's hardly something that you've done before."